Big Spender Needs Help!

Karmacat

Hi Snowypea! Lovely post - that makes things a lot clearer, good for you. Your idea of emptying out the wardrobes and rethinking outfits is a good one, and so is your idea to set up direct debits - thats essential really.

As fruitycar says, why don't you look on freecycle for a sewing machine? And what you could also do is use time at the computer to do surveys or gain vouchers for amazon - I just got a Panasonic microwave on Amazon, delivered as usual with Amazon, completely free because I paid for it with amazon vouchers I earned from wheezes I got to know about on here. I'm afraid £100 is a lot of money when you could use it to pay off debts.....

Appreciating what you already have is a big step, and a good 'un.

As for the neck pain - there's nothing to say that in full time work, you have to be chained to your desk every minute. People who smoke take cigarette breaks. When you go to the toilet, do your neck exercises, lunch and tea breaks too. The neck pain could also be to do with literally being weighed down with debt - it can happen.

Paying off your debts will give you so much flexibility..... you'll feel like a new woman. Including the neck!

SnowyPea

Thanks KarmaCat! I'm hoping my neck will be fine but yes you're right! NOT having any debt would be a huge weight off our minds and make life easier!

I love the idea of the sewing machine! How hard can it be! It'll certainly add a distraction/hobby to my life and let me do something I love!

I'll have a look at Wheeze as well. But really- we don't NEED anything! We're both 30... have a lovely house with lots of lovely things. We went on lots of nice holidays last year -another reason why we're skint now!

It's just this whole culture we live in now. Want now, get now type thing. I need to learn the value of money and learn to save more. Getting kicks out of seeing my bank balance increase rather than getting the latest dress!

Thanks again, SP

Lensman_2

Go and read a story or two on the bankrupt board.
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.html?f=136

It is only by connecting the inevitable consequences of your irresponsible spending to that moment when you pay for something you don't need that you will be able to change your behaviour.

I am sorry if this sounds harsh and I really wish you the best in your journey. You have already made step 1, well done for that. But bankruptcy is harsh, frightening and humiliating. You need to be aware of the potential consequences of not changing.

Good luck.

Debt_Free_Chick

SnowyPea wrote: »

There's more to it though. About two years ago - I developed a really bad neck pain and it's never gone away. I was working at a hard-working, high pressure agency and had to sit at my desk all day. That's when the chronic pain started. And that's why I went freelance. To work fewer hours and cope better with the pain. I've been happier as I can choose when I want to work and keep active - which helps with the pain. I have degenerative discs in my spine around my neck area and the surgeons say there's nothing they can do. I just have to stay active and working out actually does help.

Have you tried a chiropractor?

It should only cost £30-£40 every 3-6 months, which is less than you currently "fritter away"

Obsessiveness can also indicate low self-esteem - very, very common in women - and you could add a fortnightly CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) session at a further £30-£40 too. This is great for dealing with any negative attitudes you have

Karmacat

SnowyPea wrote: »

I'll have a look at Wheeze as well. But really- we don't NEED anything!

Thanks again, SP

You're very welcome! I didn't mean a "wheeze" board or thread tho, don't waste your time looking for them, sorry :rotfl: I meant the different things we learn to do - for instance:
- amazon sales
- 3 mystery shopping companies
- focus groups and phone interviews (rare, those)
- online surveys
- cashback - quidco, mainly plus topcashback
- matched betting (not for a beginner yet)
- freebies
- free bingo and scratchcards - I'm not kidding, I've had hundreds of pounds off these two, and other people have made much more!

Once you've got your outgoings down (which can take quite a while, including utilities etc) you start to build up the wheezes, as I call them to family and friends. Some feel ridiculous, but some can be quite fun.

TurnaroundSue

Hi Snowypea - when you are trying on all your clothes, put aside a pile of things you will never wear again and stick them on e-bay. Any money you make, put towards your debt. Post your SOA so we can all have a look and see where savings can be made.

Good luck with your journey - it is good that you recognise your problem as that is half the battle - the other half is doing something about it and changing your spending habits, which you are addressing. The sewing machine idea is great - the spare hours you have which you would normally have spent shopping will be spent making your own clothes - just imagine, they will be unique and the satisfaction you will get by wearing something you have made will be second to none.

SnowyPea

Thanks Lensman - I'll check those out! I know we're ok now and our debts are manageable. I think we'll be just fine because I'm not being excessive in my spending if I'm honest. I'm just spending when I should be saving or paying things off.

I'm not getting into more debt now as such. We've just been a bit silly this past year... and I know once I've got a full time job again - we'll be absolutely fine. Which is a very good place to be!

Thanks DebtFreeChick - I've tried everything with my neck. Everything. Currently on a free course of acupuncture and physio - courtesy of the NHS so that's good!

I wouldn't say my obsession with clothes is to do with low self-esteem. I'm a very grounded and happy person generally. I'm just addicted to fashion and keeping up with the trends I guess. Wanting to stay ahead. That whole culture thing that's led us to the credit crunch we're in now I guess.

No I just love clothes. If I won the lottery - sadly, it would be the first thing I'd do! I'd go shopping! Haha! And buy my mum lots of nice things too.

I think I just need to accept that we don't have any money at the moment and that I'll just have to cut back. Which is fine!

Selling clothes on Ebay is an excellent plan. I usually do that so I can raise funds to buy new clothes?!! But the extra money would do us well.

If I get this job though - we'll be earning a significant amount and our outgoings will only be a third of our income. Leaving us very well off indeed.

We've had a long chat and decided that if that happens - we'll make sure we start saving. We're going to investigate pensions... also ISAs. And we're going to over-pay on our loans.

My partner says we'll even manage if I don't get a job. He just wants me to be happy and healthy. And worries about my neck too. I love him to bits because I know we'll be ok either way. I've just got to cut back and accept that for now... we're going through a patch.

If anything it's teaching me the value of money and I think if and when we do get back on our feet I'll be so much more careful. It's been a good lesson overall.

I'd like to thank you for all your advice. I really would. It means a lot. And it's given me strength.

My outgoings can't be reduced by the way... I have about £750 a month on household bills/food/mortgage... then £150 on my car... £100 petrol and £50 on Orange (It's my only phone bill plus work phone) £48 gym membership (This is my health necessity... if I didn't go to the gym six times a week... my neck would be in so much pain. It's a necessary outgoing, not a luxury in my case) and £25 car insurance.. £220 loan payment. (I originally had a £19,000 loan when I was 22 years old.. I'm now 30 and it's down to £8,000. Ridiculous I know but I've had so many downs over the years. Long story.)

That's about it! Roughly about £1,300 or £1,400 goes out of my account every month. Currently I get £1,100 a month from one freelance client and several projects.

So as you can see - life's a bit tough at the mo but I'm lucky in that my partner is helping me out!!

:rolleyes:

Karmacat

Snowy, the £750 you spend on household bills/food/mortgage can often be lessened - switching suppliers (for utilities and mortgage), cashback, learning to cook more of what you eat rather than buying ready made, switching to cheaper alternatives or downgrading brands,

Merlinexcalibur

Your neck, which I can't help see you post a lot about in each of your posts. Maybe it would be better not going to get free acupuncture this and that on the NHS. It's usually free because it's of low quality. Or you'd have to pay for it. Go private. And actually get it sorted out by a profesionally qualified medical person. Or as whatever they are doing isn't obviously working get a second opinion. Just a suggestion. But, then, for those of us who have experienced life in different ways and know a thing or two it may not come as easily to some who have not.

poorandindenial

Hi Snowy

I used to be a big spender too, I sort of got excited by the trill of the chase of the 'right' item and then the buzz that I got from buying was imense. I considered myself pretty grounded too, although I am a lot calmer now that I have got that part of my life under control, it is as though I have reprogrammed my mind.

Now when I see something lovely my brain wanders off thinking about what that looks lik next to my monthly payments or what it would do to my debt free date. I am looking forward to buying beautiful things again in the future but I think that my attitude towards them has shifted fundamentally.

Like you I realised that I have got some lovely clothes in my wardrobe and now I 'shop' from my own wardrobe whenever I feel a bit low.

As an aside - healthcare - the NHS isn't free, we all pay for it and often the people that work privately are those that also work in the NHS (especially true of doctors), it will look and smell a bit prettier in the private sector though; oh and I have seen both hair raising and fantastically good things in both sectors so I don't buy into the pay and it will be better care side of things, I say find a practitioner that you are happy with and go with them.