Right, Third time lucky, I will do it this time

angie_baby

kissjenn wrote: »

Angie - time for deep breathing and tea.

The positive is that Joe can behave and you know that one day that will be the norm for him. The negative is that he can't or doesn't choose to do that at present.

Sometimes kids like Joe and Small Boy simply can't deal with the tidial waves of emotions they experience. These feelings, which other kids deal with pretty easily, seem to hit them broadside and the result is often over the top levels of inappropriate behaviour. As they grow older and begin to mature these feelings become less foreign as they've dealt with them before and they know they're not the end of the world.

You're providing a strong, consistent, loving home for Joe. He's pushing boundaries which all kids do, firstly to see what is and isn't acceptable, secondly to test what you'll do when he crosses those boundaries and thirdly to gain comfort that the same consistent thing will happen in each event.

So when you say do this and that will happen really does help him if you do that each and every time. Mixed messages don't help him so stick to your guns. If he gets 3 slips and that means no Beavers then do that. He may even do it a second or third week to see who'll give in first. Once he sees you won't budge (no yelling or shouting - just 3 slips Joe, you know that means no Beavers) then you'll see him come round. The fact he loves it is a huge incentive for him to adhere to the rules, as long as the rules are never so tough he has no hoping of winning the prize.

Sorry it's long. But having been there I hope it's of some help. You're a star Angie...keep going.

Thanks kissjenn

Well I told Joe last night that as his behavour was not acceptable that he will not be going on his school trip. He wasnt very happy about it and to be honest i didnt really expect him to be. I had the usual tears and im not hungry i want to go to bed. He did tidy his room though and then had dinner. The school trip was only to the local library, somewhere we go quite often so im not worried about him missing out on learning too much.

He has also been told that if his gets more slips today - more than one, then he wont be going to beavers tonight either, which i know he wants to has he has to do his privilage tonight and hand in his project.

Im just hoping he can pull it together today - i think he will.

angie_baby

Well Morning All,

Still got no money, need to really find other ways of bumping up my income, going to search the other boards later.

Im still being good and making a coffee to go in my £1 shop cup saving £1.20 a day.

I have been spending 20p on the sun this week though as i thought Joe would like the DVD's that are being given away this week. As his behavour isnt quite right at the moment im just going to save them until the time is right. They will be handy on a rainy day.

Any ideas on ways to make more money? I dont really have anything to ebay. And the clicks on quidco seem pointless at times now there only 2p.

Oh well, im sure i will find something. Hope everyone is good.

angie_baby

Well, Joe did indeed behave today! Little git! Im happy that he did, i just dont understand why he doesnt chose to behave more often. Even at 7 he must realise the difference. So it means he will be going to Beavers tonight.

kissjenn

Good news on Joe.

Have you tried a star chart with him?

How does he cope with change...does he get really upset if you say you're having pasta for dinner and then cook sauasages at the last minute (weird example I know)?

Well theres all the bingo and clicks and stuff on here. What about ironing or something else that people hate but you could do for them?

angie_baby

kissjenn wrote: »

Good news on Joe.

Have you tried a star chart with him?

How does he cope with change...does he get really upset if you say you're having pasta for dinner and then cook sauasages at the last minute (weird example I know)?

Well theres all the bingo and clicks and stuff on here. What about ironing or something else that people hate but you could do for them?

I have tried star charts, but to be honest the real problem is when he is at school.

And if they dont fill in his report card or talk to the childminder i dont know how hes done. Joe can work well with other groups as beavers / swimming / karate / go karting has proved, but the school are still saying that home is the problem - which if they could pin point it to something i would take it on board and try to change it.

I have tried so hard to support the school, ive got Joe a tutor to help build his confiendence in English, ive made Joe join groups which as ive said he works well in.

But the school dont seem to want to help me, i mean yesterday i stopped Joe going on the school trip as he recieved 3 slips meaning a half day in school suspension, so he would have to sit in another class. So as Joe wasnt allowed to go on the trip they allowed Joe to PLAY on the computer - a task that is only given to Joe as a REWARD. Stupid Stupid School!!!!

Joe copes ok with change, he is pretty used to it But put those meals the other way round i probily have problems :rotfl: sausages are Joes favourite. Joe coped with alot of chance early on in his life.

Joe is on a waiting list for a new school though as i think that change could work, he has been allowed to get away with too much at this school.

angie_baby

Right, Morning, work is very busy and getting in the way of my MSE posts

Well, I now have a proper Beaver Scout! Joe had to say the promise last night, and he’s now got his green scarf. He was so proud of himself. Ive reminded him that he needs to always remember it, not just for Beavers. It was lovely to see him so happy and proud of himself.

Today has just been the usual spends, train fare in, and a 20p sun for the DVD, but there was also a free bottle of drink with it today, so picked that up as well! Im getting there with the money saving – very slowly, but surely.

Going to look into the free scratch cards and other little bits i could do.

kissjenn

Well done Joe.

Can you meet with the new school before Joe starts and agree a joint plan of action? Let them see how engaged you and supportive you are. If processes are in place from day 1 then they may find it easier to adhere to them.

angie_baby

Thanks kissjenn,

Only problem is we have 12 people infront of us on the waiting list. As soon as a place comes up i will make sure that they know Joe needs strict bounderies.

Its all just a waiting game at the moment. Im hoping a place comes up in time for when he starts juniors.

angie_baby

Afternoon

Joe had to be picked up by my dads GF today as childminder is off and ive just had a call to say Joe has had an excellent day.

It seems to be turning around now, there are more good days than bad now.

Its amazing the amount of stress that is lifting off of me. It makes home times so much nicer

angie_baby

Morning All,

Had dinner at dads last night so that saved me cooking and ive got an extra meal still at home.

Have got no hot water today though as the pressure on my boiler has gone, didnt have time to try and sort it this morning. Will phone up the HA tonight and they will have to come out over the weekend as i cannot have any more time off for that flippin boiler!!!

Still no money, but did enter a few comps last night for holidays. Going to try and do all the dailys tonight as well and maybe a few more others. I rekon ive prob entered way over 200 so far and still not won anything. Never mind, maybe my PMA will help.

Hope every one os enjoying Friday, weekend tomorrow woooooooooo hoooooooo

(not that it means much ive still got no money lol)