Lost

RAS

Hi

If she is that age, then legally, she can choose whether and what contact she has with him.

I am guessing DS is younger? In which case, it might be a good idea to support him in getting his own advocate (perhaps through school), rather than getting involved in it yourself. You need to separate me/oh from DS/mum and DS/OH, so that you relationship with DS and his with OH is mixed up with the problems between his parents.

Really hard, do you have any male relative who can take him under his wing? I strongly advise a bit of contained violence - like beating the sh$t out of something that needs demolishing.

nickih28

RAS wrote: »

Hi

If she is that age, then legally, she can choose whether and what contact she has with him.

I am guessing DS is younger? In which case, it might be a good idea to support him in getting his own advocate (perhaps through school), rather than getting involved in it yourself. You need to separate me/oh from DS/mum and DS/OH, so that you relationship with DS and his with OH is mixed up with the problems between his parents.

Really hard, do you have any male relative who can take him under his wing? I strongly advise a bit of contained violence - like beating the sh$t out of something that needs demolishing.

She wont have any contact, i am sure of that, if he contacts her he will get it with both barrels i think, yes ds is a couple of years younger, its his birthday next week and he wants to know why his dad ruined his life right by his birthday:mad:

he is now seeing the school councilor and he can go back to her any time, i thought about taking him to the doctors also as he is very angry and came in last night with sore knuckles from hitting a sign

fsdss

try and explain to DS that you appreciate how angry he is with his dad (as you are) and whilst you can do nothing about it just now, being violent and angry will not be tolerated as you need his calm support through this time (as much as he needs yours).
tell him you will support his feelings and appreciate that sometimes, its difficult to talk to mum about feelings. however you will support and trust him to confide in another if he so wishes.

nickih28

well he finally text me and asked how the kids were, i am afraid i phoned him and told him straight what he has done to them, his comment was 'oh' :mad:


no apology nothing

Pssst

nickih28 wrote: »

well he finally text me and asked how the kids were, i am afraid i phoned him and told him straight what he has done to them, his comment was 'oh' :mad:


no apology nothing

Just to try and give a male perspective...it doesnt mean he isnt feeling bad about it. He will be feeling a great deal of guilt and some pain. Men are weak when it comes to women. I'm not offering any excuses. They often think with their pants.

Regardless,you need to consider how you feel and what you want.

Just try and get on with your life short term and dont make the classic mistake of indignantly rushing off to a solicitor.

Let things cool for a while. Just make sure there is enough money to keep the house and family and if not,make sure he knows he needs to send you some each week as an interim measure.