Who would hire a woman worker - Maternity pay to Treble !

vivatifosi

* Hardcore bear posters please switch off for a moment while I go all softy *

lir, I so want to send you a hug right now. That's really heartfelt and something I can totally relate to, for different reasons, but I can relate to it as I don't have kids either. I wish I could thank you 1,000 times for your honesty.

lostinrates

vivatifosi wrote: »

* Hardcore bear posters please switch off for a moment while I go all softy *

lir, I so want to send you a hug right now. That's really heartfelt and something I can totally relate to, for different reasons, but I can relate to it as I don't have kids either. I wish I could thank you 1,000 times for your honesty.

Thank you But I feel bad now, because while I'm obviously very ..unsatisfied...,on that front, I have nothing to moan about in the bigger picture!

I'm alive, when by rights I should be otherwise, I have a great, great, great husband (I wish I could clone him for other women because he's wonderful and life could never be empty or loveless with him in it) and my 'fur-children'. Life throws lemons sometimes: and I'm good in the kitchen.:D

I used to worry I'd get pregant -after getting ill- and we wouldn't have found a home..even last year I was thinking maybe, maybe,maybe its going to happen, but then decided we'd make do whatever and just be pleased.

I'm sort of accepting its just not what life holds for me now, and thats going to be ok too, because we'll make it ok. (although I still think, maybe, maybe, maybe it'll happen.........)

P.s. hugs from 'part of the coven' don't seem too distasteful

mewbie_2

Yet another apology from me. I'm sorry if my simplistic views about kids and the meaning of life upset anyone. Certainly not intended that way.

lostinrates

mewbie wrote: »

Yet another apology from me. I'm sorry if my simplistic views about kids and the meaning of life upset anyone. Certainly not intended that way.

mewbie, no apology needed from you -. I'm sorry if a perhaps over frank post was seen as a demand for apology.:o

squirrelchops

Bring it on...... maternity pay is the only reason i am going to go and work for a year when I graduate in 2010 before I have kids! Otherwise would consider going for it now but losing out on 90% of pay is too much!

Do i sound awful and using the system....well good! Why not! i chose not to have kids until now (will be mid 30s) so I could get a degree for better job prospects in the future, have paid my taxes and not had any money from the government until my student loans so there you are. Triple the weeks for 90% maternity pay...hurrah!

Luckily my degree is in a field where there are always mammoth job shortages so before anyone is cocky and posts' if you can get a job'...I will!

mewbie_2

lostinrates wrote: »

mewbie, no apology needed from you -. I'm sorry if a perhaps over frank post was seen as a demand for apology.:o

Oh no, it's a circular apology loop. Don't you dare apologise for anything. Heartfelt anecdotal from one of our nicest posters. I agree 100% with your views, and my fault was to make a sweeping statement about a sensitive subject.

I did NOT take your post as a request for an apology, but it prompted me to do a little soul searching. I had previously just posted "this is what I think" but as I said to Really2 I didn't bother to type two pages of ifs and buts.

LIR - no one - but no one - apologises to mewbie. After all the crap I've typed on here, interspersed with personal attacks and misleading wind ups - I deserve anything I get.

MrFonzerelli

squirrelchops wrote: »

Luckily my degree is in a field where there are always mammoth job shortages so before anyone is cocky and posts' if you can get a job'...I will!

Was it in humility?

squirrelchops

LOL MFonzerelli...just having a go at 'bigging myself up' because believe me I don't normally!!!!!!! makes a change to be a bit arrogant for once...but not 'me' normally!

fedupfreda

baileysbattlebus wrote: »

.Things went along like this for a number of years, we were very happy together with our careers and childless state. We had a very comfortable life, and were not envious of our friends and siblings who had families - I wouldn't have known what to do with a baby if you gave me one - and I didn't want to know.

Then one day I suppose what they call a "biological urge" kicked in - out of no where. I suddenly had the most overwhelming urge to have a child - I don't know why or where it came from, but it came.

OMG I can so relate to this - also thanks to SingleSue - because this was me. Funny how things change. And no, I also wouldn't change anything for the world.

bathgatebuyer

mewbie wrote: »

Yet another apology from me. I'm sorry if my simplistic views about kids and the meaning of life upset anyone. Certainly not intended that way.

Not taken that way at all! Different people think it different ways. I can't have children following treatment for cancer in 1999 (ooooh, 10 years ago now, doesn't time fly?!)

Life may be meaingless or pointless if you were in that situation - that's the way I read your comments. That YOU would feel that but weren't necessarily applying it to the third person. I don't think surviving the last 10 years has been pointless just because I can't have kids and I'm sure that's not what you meant, more that kids are important in YOUR life. I've alwasy known I would never have kids as I really don't like them (I know, I know, people will pipe up about biological clocks and all that..........................but I can't even stand to be in the same room as a kid nevermind have them. I'm sure I'd be one of those parents who chains their kid to the radiator and leaves them with a frozen pizza for a fortnight while they head off on a holiday!)

I have never viewed myself as a mother nor felt anything other than complete discomfort around children. (I hate the little blighters! Seriously, I hate the sound, smell, noise, rudeness...............everything about them). I really should never have been given ovaries to start with as they've been nothing but bloody trouble :rolleyes: (That said, of all the women I went to Uni with, I'm the only one who hasn't had a family, mind you, I'm also the only one who doesn't have a fella, so maybe I was selected to have cancer for a reason rather than any of those).

Anyhow, I'd happily show off an infertility note from my Consultant at interview to show that I'm not likely to be a 'burden' at any point!