adoption by a step parent

jellyhead

I'm too thick to understand that bit ... I am the only person on my son's birth certificate. Does that mean I can request that my husband can have parental responsibility?

cte1111

jellyhead wrote: »

I'm too thick to understand that bit ... I am the only person on my son's birth certificate. Does that mean I can request that my husband can have parental responsibility?

Yes you can. When I got married, we filled in some forms and it was very straight forward for my husband to be given parental responsibility for my DD. My ex-partner (DDs father) is on my DDs birth certificate, but he has not got parental responsibility, and sadly rarely see his daughter. If there is no father on the birth certificate, then it is also simple.

I will find the forms that we used, and post further details, probably tomorrow, if it will help people. There was no court hearing, all we had to do was fill in some forms, and take them along with our marriage certificates, my DDs birth certificate and a few other things I think, to our local court. The court person checked the documents and certified that he had seen the original certificates. We sent off the certified document, and a few weeks later we received confirmation in the post that my husband had parental responsibility for my DD.

The PR means that my husband can take my DD for her innoculations, give permission for her to go on school trips, and any other decisions that a parent would make. I would recommend doing this for any family, as it does not cut off the ties with the birth parent, but makes practicalities simpler.

sassygirl_2

cte1111 please could you post a link for those forms, that would be most halpful and i would really appreciate it xx can i just ask, roughly how much did it cost?

mookiandco

The form is here for step-parents to obtain PR.

http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/HMCSCourtFinder/GetForm.do?court_forms_id=1098

I am sure that those considering giving their husbands PR are in a happy relationship but please do consider very carefully the implications of bestowing PR on someone else. PR means that you will need their permission to change the childs surname and take the child abroad. They can also have a say in the child's education, religious upbringing, health and welfare. Its all very well right now but what happens if it all falls apart, you end up losing control over your own child as someone else must always be informed of any important decisions regarding that child. The courts general view when an application is made by a father for PR is that PR is not an automatic right even for a natural father, it is one that has to be earned. Please do your research or get legal advice before doing this. Most GPs will agree to someone else taking child to see them etc if you give your consent in writing in advance. Same goes for schools. This is often done for grandparents who care for the child during the day.

I am in the legal profession and see the carnage left behind when parents split and PR is used as a tool to stop the other person moving on in their life. This could including barring plans to move abroad, changing the child's school, raising them in a particular religion etc etc. I dont want to be the voice of doom and gloom so apologise for that. Just wanted to say that PR is precious and should not be 'given' away lightly.

cte1111

We used the form posted by mookie, took it to our local court with our marriage certificate and child's birth certificate. There was no hearing, or any enquiry into our circumstances, it was very quick and easy to do.

It was convenient for us, but I was a bit shocked about how easy it was tbh. It was a weight off our minds, as I had been ill and we were worried that if I had to be hospitalised then things would be difficult for my husband, as my daughter was due to start school, and to fill in the forms for school, they do ask if you are the parent or have PR.

I can see what mookie is saying. However I think in the circumstances that all posters on here have been talking about, then PR is really just a formality that makes things simpler for the family. If the step-parent is already a committed parent to the child in question, as my husband certainly is to our daughter (and he does think of her as his daughter), then formalising that commitment is a sensible step.

To the poster that asked about costs, I can't remember what we paid, but I think it was less than £20, just a small fee to cover the admin costs. We did not use a solicitor, and researched it ourselves online. Hope that helps.

cte1111

shimmershelly wrote: »

Can I just clarify the parental responsibility thing (sorry to hijack). BIL has 3 children living with him not their mother, 2 of which he is the natural father, oldest he is not. Oldests natural father not on birth cert and doesn't have parental responsibility (totally absent all child's life, BIL has brought her up). Can he get parental responsibility without the natural father being involved for her then, he already has it for the other two and obviously the mother would have to agree it, is that right?

Not a legal expert, but I think as long as he is married to the child's mother, and the mother consents, then yes he and the mother can jointly apply for him to have PR for the child.

Krystaltips

With regards to the cost, I rang the local family courts to enquire and they sent the forms out to me and included with it was a fee exemption form for thos on tax credits...

mookiandco

Fee exemption form is here. Make sure you read the notes and provide them with the correct proof required. The Courts are particularly hot on the evidence being recent ie dated within the last 1 month.

http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/HMCSCourtFinder/GetForm.do?court_forms_id=168

jellyhead

I see what you mean Mookie, but I've been married for 8 years and I don't think my husband would be petty about things if we split up, and he is the father of my youngest so he'd be able to stop us going abroad etc. if he wished to anyhow.

It's something we talked about but never got around to, and I am the only one with PR for my eldest. I think eldest would like to have something formal like this too, and there might come a time when it's more practical, if husband ever takes eldest to hospital etc.

Husband and eldest are going on holiday for a week together, just the 2 of them so it makes sense for my husband to have something like this.

sassygirl_2

Thankyou once again for the replies and the links. Will go take a look in a minute.