Urgent advice needed

rupert_murdoch

This week I have discovered my wife has run up debts of over £20000.
She has used elaborate lies to keep this from me and gone so far as to take my wallet so I thought I had lost my bank cards. I stupidly let her run our finances always believing her when she told me our finances were in order.
She wouldn't admit this when first confronted but each time I've produced more evidence she has admitted to more debt.
She has run up £10200 on a capital one card in my name which I thought I'd payed off and destroyed, She has £1200 on a Debenhams card which debt collectors chasing, she has Debenhams card in my name ,again which I believed closed £400, argos card £700, various catalogues, a personal loan of £7000! From what I can gather from the statements I've found stashed in a wardrobe it's mostly interest on all of these cards.I'm totally confused where to start any advice very much appreciated.

---lee---

Hi,

I think you will get the best advice for this from the friendly folk over on the Debt-Free Wannabe board. You can copy your post and re-post it there.

You can get free advice from the CAB and

never-in-doubt

rupert_murdoch wrote: »

This week I have discovered my wife has run up debts of over £20000.
She has used elaborate lies to keep this from me and gone so far as to take my wallet so I thought I had lost my bank cards. I stupidly let her run our finances always believing her when she told me our finances were in order.
She wouldn't admit this when first confronted but each time I've produced more evidence she has admitted to more debt.
She has run up £10200 on a capital one card in my name which I thought I'd payed off and destroyed, She has £1200 on a Debenhams card which debt collectors chasing, she has Debenhams card in my name ,again which I believed closed £400, argos card £700, various catalogues, a personal loan of £7000! From what I can gather from the statements I've found stashed in a wardrobe it's mostly interest on all of these cards.I'm totally confused where to start any advice very much appreciated.

If it was me then i'd just walk away and wait 6yrs. Otherwise you have to grass thewife up, and to be honest it's only money - not the end of the world (although the trust has evidently gone!).

Basically, if you can hide for 6yrs then it becomes statute barred meaning it has effectively been written off. However, I do not condone this action I am simply telling you one option of many.

Personally, you have to decide whether you

a) want to pay it back
b) walk away
c) come to some arrangement
d) report your wife for theft and then it will be wiped from your reports

As you can see, other than grassing the mrs up or paying it off (forever) the best course of action may be to walk away. If this is what you want to do, or even to see if the agreements are non forceable, do a google search for Consumer Action Group as they are your best forum. This one is to offer money saving advice, not free money advice.

Out of interest, are you and the wife still together?

Innocent_Guy

---lee--- wrote: »

Hi,

I think you will get the best advice for this from the friendly folk over on the Debt-Free Wannabe board. You can copy your post and re-post it there.

You can get free advice from the CAB and

The CAB is deffo the place to go. Personally it looks like you may have to take a concolidation loan but you will not be accepted or will get a high APR if you have DCA's chasing you! Pay the min payments for the minute because it is in your name so you are prob responsible!

Good luck with the CAB

Innocent_Guy

never-in-doubt wrote: »

If it was me then i'd just walk away and wait 6yrs. Otherwise you have to grass thewife up, and to be honest it's only money - not the end of the world (although the trust has evidently gone!).

Basically, if you can hide for 6yrs then it becomes statute barred meaning it has effectively been written off. However, I do not condone this action I am simply telling you one option of many.


Personally, you have to decide whether you

a) want to pay it back

b) walk away

c) come to some arrangement

d) report your wife for theft and then it will be wiped from your reports

As you can see, other than grassing the mrs up or paying it off (forever) the best course of action may be to walk away. If this is what you want to do, or even to see if the agreements are non forceable, do a google search for Consumer Action Group as they are your best forum. This one is to offer money saving advice, not free money advice.

Out of interest, are you and the wife still together?

If i am correct walking away is not an option if you are a homeowner as I assume the debt would be secured against the house - Nobody wants to loose there house!!

CLAPTON

The first financial step to to gather all the financial information together ..income , spending, all the debt details, savings, equity etc
this format is a good one to use
http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html
also good to add a little about circumstances (i.e. kids etc)

I would suggest you post it on the debt free wannabe board as there is a lot of people there will experience of debts and also of OHs keeping debts secret ... you will get a knowledgeable and sympathic reception there.

never-in-doubt

Innocent_Guy wrote: »

If i am correct walking away is not an option if you are a homeowner as I assume the debt would be secured against the house - Nobody wants to loose there house!!

Unsecure debt. If it was secured then the OP would have to know really..... thing is it is a hard one cos there is the moral dilemma of grassing his wife up.

Obviosuly it'd help if we knew whether it was current or estranged wife..... lol

never-in-doubt

CLAPTON wrote: »

The first financial step to to gather all the financial information together ..income , spending, all the debt details, savings, equity etc
this format is a good one to use
http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html
also good to add a little about circumstances (i.e. kids etc)

I would suggest you post it on the debt free wannabe board as there is a lot of people there will experience of debts and also of OHs keeping debts secret ... you will get a knowledgeable and sympathic reception there.

Nice post, was looking for this tool myself..... cheers :T

rupert_murdoch

Only found all this Thursday, things very strained.

lynzpower

Do you love your wife and want to sort it out?

Does she work? What has she been buying with this money- certainly looks like the time is now to start selling everything she owns, taking on a cleaning job and doing the penance. Ive done it, suffered to pay the debt off, andmakes me 100% I will never get it again. Dont what ever you do swoop in and sort it out for a quiet life- it wont help her learn.

What is she saying about it?

never-in-doubt

rupert_murdoch wrote: »

Only found all this Thursday, things very strained.

Ok, so few questions for you;

1. Do you want to split-up? If so then you have to make the choice to pay it back, grass her or do a runner (hide);

2. If you want to make it work then being honest will do a couple of things; 1st if you let slip to a lender then they can pursue legal action against the wife for fraud or 2nd you going to be in debt for many years

3. Do you need credit? If not then hiding wouldn't be a bad thing but remember you wouldn't be able to swap mortgage or anything for 6 years!

You've a lot to think over and decide but personally, if it was my wife that done it i'd be looking to see whether she needed help (you do know that spending like that is an illness and has been recognised as addiction like gambling/drugs?)

Honestly, I hope you get it sorted but don't be too hard on the Mrs, it may be an addiction....