I want to propose but....

Q7_st

.... how????

I love my girlfriend and I'm looking for some friendly advice/ ideas how I go about not totally screwing this up and ruining it!

We have a LO who is coming up to 1. Whilst my OH was pregnant I asked her several times if she wanted to get married but I also told her I wanted my proposal to be something she remembered (I wanted to fly her off to New York but problems in her pg made this imposible). Feel a bit crappy about it now because she deserves better than some half hearted proposal. I always invisaged flying her off to New York and taking her to Tiffanys and a quicky wedding just seemed wrong. Now almost 2 years later (since discussing it) I haven't asked and I'm beggining to feel a bit of a fraud. I work out of the country a lot and the LO just takes up so much of our time. I desperately want to ask her but feel I've made her wait so long that it has to be something special. If I look as though I just threw it all together after 2 years she's going to think I was just stalling and didn't want to!

She has told a close friend that she doesn't see the point anymore- "that I'm (me) clearly not bothered!". Looking from it from her point of view I can totally see this but it's really so far from the truth.

She's so beautiful, I'm worried she's going to find someone else who is more romantic (wouldn't be hard).

Please help

Q

sooz

Why a quickie wedding?
You do the proposing, & let her plan the wedding together with you. She might not want a quickie wedding.

Enlist the help of a grandparent or trusted friend, as a babysitter, & chief plotter. Then tell her you are taking her to meet friends for dinner, or some other excuse which needs her to spend more than the normal couple of minutes beautifying & getting ready, & perhaps needs a shopping trip for a new dress?

So, now you have a babysitter, & her dressed up & ready to go out. I'm sure you can work out the rest from there...

Good luck

tiamai_d

I, personally, don't think that big showy proposals are worth it, sorry. I'm not a romantic anymore! Something that means something to you both is much better than spending a fortune on the drama of the show.

I do think your LO should be involved somehow, making the point that you wish to cement the family, not just you and your soon to be (hopefully) DW. And I don't mean that your not allready a happy family, but as your LO is here she should be part of it. Just my opinion.

skypie123_2

I think your OH is very lucky to have someone who obviously loves her as much as you do!
The very best of luck with whatever you decide. What about a hot air balloon ride, glass of champers and popping the question?
Let us know how you get on!
xx

u01jet4

That is really sweet, I definitely think it sounds like you should do it soon!

If you work out of the country, pick a time when you have just got back, rather than when you are about to go away, to allow you to both enjoy it and show off her ring etc.

Only you know what she likes, I think a proposal can definitely be romanitc without being showy, I personally would hate to be proposed to in the middle of a busy restaurant, but would love to be proposed to in a meaningful place.

Depending on where you live perhaps you can all go to a nice beauty spot for a picnic or something? Hide the ring somewhere (I like that idea mentioned of taking the LO).

I'm sure she isn't going to run off immediately and find someone else, but definitely don't put it off too much longer or she might start to get bored!

You also don't necessarily have to have picked out a ring beforehand if it means slowing things down. Maybe get her a token bracelet or something in the meantime so you can propose while you are so keen to then you can choose a ring together?

I hope you work something out! And don't worry too much about it being a grand gesture, I'm sure if she is telling friends she doen't think you are bothered then she will be majorly happy for to ask, how you do it won't be as important!

Q7_st

Thanks for your suggestions.

Me and my mates are total bu88ers for going over the top; races, F1, football, nights out (stag do's ). Which kinda means that a trip to our local Italian to propose would look a bit poor effort on my part.

I do appreciate it's the thought that counts and my girlfriend isn't really that materialistic but I do think that sometimes she judges my love on the value of the gift and that REALLY is my fault because I don't know how to say how much I love her without the backup of a lovely gift/ evening out. It's a learned behaviour. I know full well she'd prefer me to be some slushy smooth bloke who knew where all the romantic places were and with all the right things to say above a bunch of flowers and jewellry but I'm crap at that ort of stuff.

Anyway, the hot air balloon idea was great but I'm scared to death of heights! Along the right lines though!

Definitely not having LO tag along... I find it hard enough being romantic without her being there God bless her!! But nice suggestion.

How do you learn to be romantic??

tinkerbell84

Don't bother with Tiffany's - it's tat

webitha

do you know what i think would be nice
whisk her away to you nearest country house for a getaway, seeing as she copes on her own with the LO whilst your away, the break would be appriciated big time, and while there, say over a candlelight dinner
"wouldnt this be a great place to get married, thats if you would do me the honour blah blah blah, on 1 knee etc et etc)

ailuro2

Get a plane to haul a banner past her workplace, then phone her and tell her to look ut of the window!!

Q7_st

Ahhhh picnic.... that's a word I hear often!!!

I've always dismissed it and told her I'd take her for a proper meal Doyou girls really like that??? is there any hope for me!!!

I think she'd like that!! hame the weather's so rubbish! She could've ran off with the milkman before I get to take her on one!!

jackomdj

tiamai_d wrote: »

I do think your LO should be involved somehow, making the point that you wish to cement the family, not just you and your soon to be (hopefully) DW. And I don't mean that your not allready a happy family, but as your LO is here she should be part of it. Just my opinion.

Sorry but I disagree, as Mum to two little ones I would want this to just be me & OH, if the girls were there with just OH & myself they would probably need a wee half way through the proposal or need some more drink or something.... it would be nice to include them afterwards - don't know how particuarly but I am sure someone will come up with something. Personally I like the country house idea. Why not arrange to hire a nice car for 2 days, drive somewhere really nice & stay overnight.

I don't know if you have a ring or thought about it but you could always book to go to a jewelers to choose/design a ring on the second day - that way your GF gets to have input into the ring she has to wear forever more (as it will alse affect the wedding ring she gets)

Just to add - thought of a brilliant way to include little one - when you come home already have a family meal booked for close family & friends, get home you can both get ready then go out & see your LO & those closest to you.

HTH
Nicky