7 year old son saying 'strange' things

anguk

Him saying things like "I'm fat and ugly" and "why doesn't anyone at school like me?" make me think that perhaps there is a problem at school somewhere. Having a word with his teachers is a good first step, but unfortunately sometimes teachers don't see everything so it may be a good idea to have a little talk with him. I don't mean a sit-down talk but perhaps you could both make some fairy cakes or play a game that he likes and you could casually ask him about school, what he's done that day, what did he play at breaktime etc. Then you could sort of casually ask if there are any children who are a bit naughty or any friends that have fallen out.

I've found with kids if you ask them something outright like "is there a problem" they clam up but if you have a casual, fun conversation with some carefully chosen questions it's surprising how much you can find out.

I would say that it's best to do this on your own, with no other kids around to distract him, just some you and him time where he has your full attention.

~evanesco~

Children are very odd beings. My friend had a similar problem with her daughter, she's a bit obsessed with death too. Took her to the GP's, she's fine, just has a very vivid imagination, slthoughj she is one who 'knows' too much. I mean she watches the 10 o'clock news (she's 7), which scares me half to death.

lolababy

Hi Id find out what has been going on in school first. It may be that a child has heard or watched something and scared your son. At seven the world becomes a much bigger place and some children begin to fear and obsess about things . My six year old wont wear certain clothes as she is worried about what other children would say. Its a sad fact that children are being exposed to the adult world much sooner than their parents were. Children cant make sense of the things they see and this can lead to odd behaviour.
Try talking to him about peoples feelings ie what makes them sad,happy . Talk about the different sizes people come in ie small, tall,big ,thin ect. If you talk to him and make it into a game as anguk has said then a childs thoughts and feeling usually surface. Another one that Iv found usefull is telling your child about things that you liked or disliked as a child.

gairlochgal

Hi

I'd echo the advice about asking his teacher what's happening at school.

I had an episode when my then 6 yr old said several times that she was going to kill herself. It transpired that a classmate had been exposed to a violent video and was acting out at school, telling my daughter that she was going to come to our house and stab her, and terrible stories about other children she claimed to have killed. My daughter said that killing herself was the way out as she wouldn't have to worry about being stabbed. We got on top of it quickly with the help of the school, and she's now a very strong 11 yr old, but it was horrendous at the time.

mrs_thrifty_2

Just wondered if he could have watched something unsuitable at a friend's house or played an unsuitable pc game there etc.

burnsguitarman

I think I would talk to my GP alone first, It wouldn't be good to 'talk' about your son in front of him, if you know what I mean. But first I would talk to school.

ailuro2

~evanesco~ wrote: »

Children are very odd beings. My friend had a similar problem with her daughter, she's a bit obsessed with death too. Took her to the GP's, she's fine, just has a very vivid imagination, slthoughj she is one who 'knows' too much. I mean she watches the 10 o'clock news (she's 7), which scares me half to death.

I'd be asking why a 7 y.o. was awake to watch the ten o'clock news?

I'm all for kids taking an interest in the wider world, but the teatime news would be better.

To OP, I hope you find an answer, this must be very distressing for you and your son.

allIcouldwishfor

DentalPhobic wrote: »

Sounds to me like your son has developed an unhealthy obsession with the reality of death. This usually kicks in about 7 - when we realise the finality of death. It is one of the biggest things we have to handle as human beings. It's scary, and we never really get over it or come to terms with it. We all handle it differently, some children never give it another thought, some worry normally, some go on to obsess. My son was the same. I could not go out the house and he thought I was going to die, or he was, or someone he knew was. It was all brought on by his friend reading him horror stories (really awful ones) and looking at unsuitable material on a sleepover. I took him to my GP and he was seen by a mental health childrens nurse for about a year. It all sorted itself out, and is not a problem now.

Unless your son is harming small animals I wouldn't worry too much, but get him to the GP.

My DS is 7 too and he went through a little phase a couple of months ago of being scared of death and worried that he and everyone around him was going to die, but what the OP has described sounds different. I would speak to his teacher about it to find out if there's anything which may have triggered this at school and also just to let her know that this is going on. I think the suggestion of speaking to the GP is a good one too.

Lorian

tryingtodobetter in this case is definitely to go have a chat with your GP. Just make an appointment as normal and go tell.

bestpud

Like others on here, my dd(7) has recently gone through a phase of worrying about death and asking who will die first, and what will happen if I die. At one stage she was very worried about going to sleep in case she didn't wake up too.

She periodically talks about nobody liking her too, but it tends to be when she has fallen out with someone at school.

She hasn't started on body image yet, thankfully.

I think a certain amount is 'normal' but your ds seems to be a little more pre-occupied than most. I would make an appt with your GP, but go by yourself first - you can tell them it is about your son, as it is in his name.

Also, though, if you are worried at all about him having that on his record, you can make an appt for yourself and ask as a concerned parent. I did this when I was worried about my ds once and it means there is nothing in his notes about it. He was a teen at the time though, so I was thinking about him applying for jobs etc in a few years iyswim - it may not be the same for a 7 year old.

Speak to his teacher to, and perhaps see if you can quizz him a little about his friends, and what they may get up to. Maybe have a chat with the other parents about 'interests', or bedtimes as well, to see if you can pick up a possible source for this.

I would start with parents who have a big age gap between their children. Just because they are more likely to be exposed to 'older' conversation. I know dd(7) has overheard a few conversations between me and my older two, and been concerned about what we were talking about. It is worse still if they only hear little snippets.

Other than that, lots of love and reassurance. I really feel for him and hope he is ok.