"Vulture" syndrome

Gers

Be_Happy wrote: »

I'm not sure about this, but doesn't the situation become even more difficult now as your dead brother's child/children will share his part of your mother's estate. See extract below:

The substitution
If a member of the category has died before the intestate leaving a child or children, the child or children take their deceased parent's share, if more than one in equal shares, subject to reaching the age of 18 or getting married whichever is earlier.

The 4 older 'children' are all adults and my mother has always had a will. And 4 of the 5 'children live overseas' and my mother is in Scotland.

[Deleted User]

I sat down and added all the bits and pieces together ie house, savings, insured values of `things`, pension etc etc and believe me it soon adds up to a tidy amount. My dh and I absolutely have to get away from the being frugal syndrome which has been bred into both of us. We are sticking with a simple will, each to the other and then divided amongst the three children but the sums would be way way above anything we have enjoyed in our lives. So time to step back and take a reality check for both of us

The opening post has just reminded me why

lilac_lady

It's difficult to spend a lot of money on yourself if you've been used to watching the pennies. A lot of my age group (60s and over) know what it's like to have had very little in the earlier stages of our lives.

I sometimes wish I'd been born with the "selfish" gene!

Mrs_pbradley936

lilac_lady wrote: »

It's difficult to spend a lot of money on yourself if you've been used to watching the pennies. A lot of my age group (60s and over) know what it's like to have had very little in the earlier stages of our lives.

I sometimes wish I'd been born with the "selfish" gene!

I know exactly what you mean. From not taking too much flesh when peeling potatos to mending things with a needle and cotton. I really don't think youngters have a sewing box anymore. I am going to ask in the Arms.

margaretclare

Mrs_pbradley936 wrote: »

I know exactly what you mean. From not taking too much flesh when peeling potatoes to mending things with a needle and cotton. I really don't think youngsters have a sewing box any more. I am going to ask in the Arms.

There really is nothing wrong with this way of thinking and, who knows, the way things are going we may all have to re-learn or re-teach these habits.

DH and I are still saving. If anyone asks us 'why save at your age, why not spend it' etc, the answer is, it really paid off in recent months. We save it and then we spend as required!

If we hadn't had some savings we wouldn't have had that wonderful holiday last September and, hard on the heels of that, DH's illness and the necessity of spending money on some home improvements.

This year, the drive needs doing, and we're away late April.

pollypenny

Oh and I agree with margaretclare. We save for holidays ( and have quite a few). Expenditure for big items, like our lovely new kitchen comes out of our long-term savings.

However, if it comes to point that we we need to draw out of long-term savings for a holiday - then so be it!

As the lovely old caretaker at my school used to say;
" There's no pockets in a shroud!"

Newly_retired

Talking of mending with a needle and cotton, that's what I do every time I go to my daughter's. She has a sewing box given her by her grandmother, but cannot sew, so I do her repairs, buttons, seams coming undone and sewing on of badges and name tapes for the children. At least she has the right attitude ( make do and mend) even if not the skills. When she is less busy I'll have to teach her - something I can leave her not in my will! ( which is all taken care of, so no worry about vultures ).
I am saving too and waiting to spend on home improvements when we get round to it. Holidays are few and far between as DH is either working or away visiting his family ( His Mother and daughter both been ill this last year). I keep looking for something to spend money on but can't find anything I want /need / consider value for money.

Mrs_pbradley936

Newly_retired wrote: »

Talking of mending with a needle and cotton, that's what I do every time I go to my daughter's. She has a sewing box given her by her grandmother, but cannot sew, so I do her repairs, buttons, seams coming undone and sewing on of badges and name tapes for the children. At least she has the right attitude ( make do and mend) even if not the skills. When she is less busy I'll have to teach her - something I can leave her not in my will! ( which is all taken care of, so no worry about vultures ).
I am saving too and waiting to spend on home improvements when we get round to it. Holidays are few and far between as DH is either working or away visiting his family ( His Mother and daughter both been ill this last year). I keep looking for something to spend money on but can't find anything I want /need / consider value for money.

I bet that's not the attitude of the debt free wanna be board!

iwanttosave_2

My Grandad has loads saved up because he never spends and his pension is just mounting up and up, he also have life insurance for when he dies. I wish he would just spend it all because I know my Aunt is just waiting him to die so she can get her hands on it. My mum recently borrowed £100 from him and she actually had the gaul to say to me "I'm not being funny but I don't want x borrowing money because thats our inheritance soon" she means her inheritance.

When my nana died the link litterally wasn't dry on the death certficate and she was at the bank withdrawing the money.

Unfortunatly, although he said he was going to put it in my name because he knows I will distribute it fairly he hasn't and I don't want to bring it up because it seems so crass. I'm not bothered about getting any money, it just bugs me I know she's already mentally spending it all.

margaretclare

iwanttosave wrote: »

My Grandad has loads saved up because he never spends and his pension is just mounting up and up, he also have life insurance for when he dies. I wish he would just spend it all because I know my Aunt is just waiting him to die so she can get her hands on it. My mum recently borrowed £100 from him and she actually had the gall to say to me "I'm not being funny but I don't want x borrowing money because that's our inheritance soon" she means her inheritance.

When my nana died the link literally wasn't dry on the death certificate and she was at the bank withdrawing the money.

Unfortunately, although he said he was going to put it in my name because he knows I will distribute it fairly he hasn't and I don't want to bring it up because it seems so crass. I'm not bothered about getting any money, it just bugs me I know she's already mentally spending it all.

If I thought anyone, anyone at all, had any such designs on what I may leave behind me, I would write a will that was so tightly-drawn-up that no one except nominated beneficiaries would get hold of a penny-piece.

If that was the case it would all go to my favourite charitie(s) and no, not a dogs' home or a cats' home. Nor have DH and I any interest on going on a cruise.