How do you get your kids to move out

myrnahaz

I've given up hoping that my 25 year old DD will move out - she told me (jokily, I hope) "it's your duty to look after me, after all, you had me, I didn't have you".

Oldernotwiser

myrnahaz wrote: »

I've given up hoping that my 25 year old DD will move out - she told me (jokily, I hope) "it's your duty to look after me, after all, you had me, I didn't have you".

Now that is seriously scary!:eek: :eek: Are you sure she was joking?

Mojisola

myrnahaz wrote: »

I've given up hoping that my 25 year old DD will move out - she told me (jokily, I hope) "it's your duty to look after me, after all, you had me, I didn't have you".

Get her to watch some wildlife films showing how the animal parents push their offspring away to fend for themselves. No healthy adult needs parenting after 25 years!

flea72

Uther wrote: »

He does try to find work but he is so painfully shy and lacks self confidence he never gets past the interview stage, and with the current economic climate he has no chance

I know how your son feels, but the more you let him get away with hiding from the world the worse it will get

In this case, perhaps you need to start pulling some strings. Ask around friends/relatives if there are any positions in their company, and get his leg in the door that way. Money doesnt come into it to start with, he needs to get out the house, and feel some self-worth, then he might start making plans for himself

Id say most of my jobs have come via friends/family who forewarn the employer that although im shy, im competent and know my work. Once in the door, they give you the benefit of the doubt, and you usually end up with the job. 5yrs later, they dont believe you are the shy person who walked through their door, as youre now known as the office foghorn!:rotfl:

However, as he is on benefits why are you supporting him. If he left home he would be supported by the benefit system, and i can assure you after a while on that, he would be prepared to stutter and blush his way through any interview, to get any job, at any pay rate, just so he could better his life

Flea

Susan_Frost

If son is truly so painfully shy, then he does need help with that. Coaching/
Counselling/Life Skills etc. He does need to be encouraged to interact with others. Does he have friends ? Get him to join something. If it is so difficult for him, is there a hobby you can both share - but outside the home, where you can be with him and help "break him in". Having then made friends you could start to step back a bit.

No - at 29 he is not even a young, young man. You should not be supporting him, not financially. I would suggest you agree an amount of "board" he should pay each week and it is up to him how he gets it. Give him a month to sort it out.

Also, what about around the house. Does he do his fair share, especially if not working? I dont mean just his own ironing, but chores which are for the family. i.e. cut the lawn. make a meal. hang out the washing, etc.

If he does not get into the usual things that MEN (he is no longer a boy !!!) do then he will get left behind. He may find that his peers have moved on with jobs and famillies and he could feel even more shy and become isolated.

It is important you and your wife do the things in life you were expecting to now the kids have grown (if not flown). Hope you are not staying in or compromising what you want to do because he would be home alone.

Hope it gets sorted out ok

Ivrytwr3

Glen0000 wrote: »

I can see how the OP is very frustrated. I long for the day to be able to spend the whole weekend in bed with my wife!

I had to leave after 24 hours; she wore me out!!!








really, j/k!! sorry

Savvy_Sue

myrnahaz wrote: »

I've given up hoping that my 25 year old DD will move out - she told me (jokily, I hope) "it's your duty to look after me, after all, you had me, I didn't have you".

How about buying a pack of the largest Tena lady pads you can find and leaving them somewhere she can't miss them? That should move her on. :rotfl:

nearlyrich

My DD has started to look at starter homes, I think she wants us to move into one and leave her here in luxury LOL

yoni_one

nearlyrich wrote: »

My DD has started to look at starter homes, I think she wants us to move into one and leave her here in luxury LOL

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

never_enough

Nothing to add on the moving out front but about the shyness/confidence issue I totally agree with previous posters about voluntary work. Especially if he's not working, it's an opportunity to be taken advantage of (well that's how I see it). There are so many people that need help nowadays that you could do something in practically any area of interest. I have a friend who went in to help on hospital radio, started off going around wards asking for dedications, ended up working as a producer & loved it.
The main thing is to get him out to meet people. If you're not working it's easy to feel very isolated, heading down a depressing & lonely road. You never know, he could meet the girl (or boy?) of his dreams...big wedding, he moves out, you can swing noisily from all the chandeliers....all sorted!