Mum's health and weaning from breast to bottle/cup

nadnad

goodness betty your son sounds very like mine! he spits his water out sometimes too, and sometimes he drinks it no bother. i bought every cup under the sun til i found one he would (most of the time) happily take water from. I'm dreading when i decide its time to stop feeding him myself because i know i'm going to have the same problems you do. in the past i have also tried feeding my son every which way i can think of - ie every bottle, every cup, sitting by himself, in his highchair, cuddled up to me, cuddled up to someone else and nothing really helps. my hope is that when he's gets cows milk he'll take it better than formula, but if he doesnt i'm not sure what to do, other than get calcium into him via his food and just let him drink water. but when it comes to me stopping the feeds )esp night feeds its going to break my heart because i know he'll cry and cry.

the things us mothers have to cope with. its very hard.

Bettyboop

bestpud wrote: »

That was the sticking point for me as they could not, or would not, say for sure iyswim? Not the same meds though, nor exactly the same problem, but your last statement shows you think the same way I did about it.

Would your HV be able to have a chat with your OH and explain how things are for you? And, more to the point, make it clear to him he will be doing everything for his son if you end up being unable to cope at all!

Or would he go to your GP with you and let him/her try and get through to him?

Thinking of HVs, have they offered you a support worker at all? I used to have someone come once a week and play with my littlies while I had time out. Not that I felt able to leave them with her, but it did help (a lot) to have someone to occupy them for an hour.

Or what about Homestart?

Well my GP asked me if my husband would attend an appointment with me to see her but he won't. It really seems that stubborness runs in the family. I don't know much about Homestart but from what you are saying this may very well be just what I need. Do you have to meet some sort of criteria for the Homestart option? My Health Visitor is coming around to see me tomorrow on the doctors request. I will ask her about this. I wonder if they have waiting lists aswell? Thank you for this bit of advice.

Bettyboop

nadnad wrote: »

goodness betty your son sounds very like mine! he spits his water out sometimes too, and sometimes he drinks it no bother. i bought every cup under the sun til i found one he would (most of the time) happily take water from. I'm dreading when i decide its time to stop feeding him myself because i know i'm going to have the same problems you do. in the past i have also tried feeding my son every which way i can think of - ie every bottle, every cup, sitting by himself, in his highchair, cuddled up to me, cuddled up to someone else and nothing really helps. my hope is that when he's gets cows milk he'll take it better than formula, but if he doesnt i'm not sure what to do, other than get calcium into him via his food and just let him drink water. but when it comes to me stopping the feeds )esp night feeds its going to break my heart because i know he'll cry and cry.

the things us mothers have to cope with. its very hard.

A quick update. We tried cow's milk in his cup today. He took one sip and refused anymore . I think he is now going to rebell and not take milk from a cup or he will go a step further and refuse water from it aswell. Us mothers not only have to deal with sleep deprivation, take our babies to playgroups, cook and clean everyday etc, but I don't know about you but I have no time for me. I have a few minutes here now and again but I never feel revived iykwim... Life for me is kids and husband, playgroups, housework etc.....

shirlgirl2004

Life is like that for me too :grouphug: . You could try and contact la leche league as they are more informed than most GPs on what can be taken when bf. In the meantime I'd try and restrict feeds to the ones you feel are essential so maybe any night feds and the one before bed. These are the feeds that will probably cause most anxiety to drop. Daytime feeds can normally be averted by distraction. The less milk your son takes the more likely he is to eat food and mean you'll have to worry less about him taking in nutrition from milk.

I hope things improve for you soon.

Aaagh

I BF my son till just after his second birthday.

I was diagnosed with PND but found that things got so much easier when I just chilled out and stopped trying to force DS to do what he didn't want to. I tried to follow routines for what babies should and shouldn't be doing but in the end just fed him when he wanted feeding and we were both much happier. I have to admit after around 10 months I did tend to BF in the bedroom rather than in front of people, but that was mostly because it was less distracting there (worst thing you want is a distracted toddler exposing your nipples to all and sundry!).

I found weaning him off in the day feeds quite easy (around the year mark) as I just managed to distract him with other things. He started off having the ready mixed Aptamil, which comes in cartons and is supposed to be the most like breast milk. Luckily he took to cow's milk easily but if your son is getting calcium from other sources I wouldn't worry too much about a milk drink, or even any other drink. Does he eat fruit? There's plenty of hydration for him from that. Try distraction first, and if he does get upset then BF him.

I BF him to sleep every night and first thing in the morning. I weaned him off the night feed just before he was 2, over the course of a few weeks by turning my back on him (I used to feed him lying down on the bed), or telling him I was just going to go to the loo/sort the washing etc then went straight back to him when he started getting really upset. Eventually, over just a couple of nights I turned my back on him and didn't give in to the feed and, importanly, didn't speak to him at all. He was quite upset but not nearly as bad as I thought he would be. He just cried for about 5 minutes and went off to sleep when he realised I wasn't giving in.

The morning feed was easy to drop (I say this now that he is nearly 4, perhaps it was worse!). I probably kept it going longer than I needed to but I did it because it gave me an extra hour or so in bed and he would have a quick feed and then go back to sleep. Eventually, it got that he would wake late enough for me to accept that we could actually get up and then we did the distraction with other things and he seemed to accept that that was it.

I have no regrets that I kept BFing for so long and am happy that I never left him to cry for me and not be there for him.

I do agree with previous posters that it is a good idea to try and get other people to distract him WHILE YOU ARE OUT OF THE HOUSE. I wouldn't go away for a weekend, but perhaps a trip to the shops (go on, treat yourself, you deserve it! - why don't you have a massage? I did, it was fabulous - you can't really switch off properly but it's still great) where you are contactable by phone can return quickly if he gets really distraut.

Good luck.

bestpud

Bettyboop wrote: »

Well my GP asked me if my husband would attend an appointment with me to see her but he won't. It really seems that stubborness runs in the family. I don't know much about Homestart but from what you are saying this may very well be just what I need. Do you have to meet some sort of criteria for the Homestart option? My Health Visitor is coming around to see me tomorrow on the doctors request. I will ask her about this. I wonder if they have waiting lists aswell? Thank you for this bit of advice.

You can self refer to Homestart but they are volunteers so it does depends how busy they are in your area. Your HV can refer you too though, so ask her about it when you see her.

The support worker I was talking about worked with my HV. I don't know if it is a regional thing but both my HVs (different surgery with the older two so different HV) had a support worker who helped with things like this.

Your OH sounds a gem! :rolleyes: Not sure what you can do about it though...

Jo_R_2

I have a Home Start visitor who comes round once a week for a couple of hours. It's been great!

Wasn't sure at first. I'm a stay-at-home mum, and have DD2 at home with me (aged 2 and a half) and suffer with depression, so at a particularly difficult time my HV put in a referral to our local Home Start. A co-ordinator came round to see me and explained they could definitely help me, but that there was quite a waiting list. However the next week she called saying she had found someone and brought her round the week after. She now comes round and plays with DD2, takes her out to the park/library/shops and when they come back, sits and plays whilst I get on with whatever - can be housework but quite often means I get peace to have a shower and wash my hair!

I also have a support work of sorts called a family visitor. She is attached to the HV team and can do all sorts of things to help. For me she has found a great local Sure Start centre and came with me a few times, introduced me to the people who work there, the sessions they have on, as well as other stuff. I don't know if this is a regional thing but I'd highly recommend finding out as she is great!

I know that's slightly OT from the original point but I know you said you thought it may be useful so I hope it helps in some way!

3under3

Hi, I haven't read all the replies but here is my experience. I fed all my girls up until the age of one - none of them would take a bottle - the eldest was so stubborn that in her first 6 months I must have tried about 10 different beakers and bottles including the haberman feeder at great expense! I eventually reduced the amount of feeds down to one in the morning and then one before bed, then I cut out the morning one (and gave them bigger breakfasts). Then I cut out the one before bedtime. I will never forget the look my eldest gave me on the day I stopped... the twins took beakers ok really but the eldest refused everything so I just gave her milk to sip from a doidy cup. Within a month or so she could use those beakers with a pop up straw as well as a sports type sipper. I think the best bet is to go cold turkey - your LO will soon replace you with something else - my girls are 22 months and 3.5 now and still have milk in a beaker at bedtime.