Divorce - Husband won't leave, must the house be sold??

elaine373

Your poor friend, what an awful time for her, I think in the future, some time she will realise he did her a favour. She deserves better than that. ( I personally suspect theres another woman) In the meantime, see a solicitor and tell her to look after herself and the children and let him get on with it, and to stay strong.Tell her not to put up with any emotional or physical abuse. Hugs to your friend.

jfdi

I used to know a woman in the same situation, if not worse.

Hubbie kept her so short of money (she had 2 young kids & wasn't working) as he was obsessed with not having debts. Eventually paid off brand new enormous mortgage in about 6 years! (Normal job, no massive wins etc). Kids NEVER had a party, went to Brownies/Cubs etc, had any new clothes.

He had his 'mid-life' crisis as your friend's Hubbie has had, wanted her & kids out of 'his' house.

She refused & got solicitors etc involved - luckily he didn't get nasty(er!).

When it finally came to court she was awarded EVERYTHING - coz of his mental cruelty. The whole house, contents, Bank a/c's - the lot! Judge said as he was so good with money (!) it wouldn't take him long to re-create his circumstances!

She went on IS for a while & felt so rich she was crying! Even took the kids on a good holiday!

So............tell her not to budge, get good legal advice & start thinking of what her skills & efforts have contributed to the household over the years!

Wish her luck - I'll be thinking of her.

A
xx

Ember999

Silly man, he sounds like a cruel control freak who is selfish and is thinking the grass is greener elsewhere. He will get his just deserts as Karma has a way of balancing the scales when people are bad.

I will tell you what I would do in a similar situation. You are then free to give this sound advice to your poor friend (my heart bleeds for her, it truly does )

Mental Cruelty is the worst form of torture to a woman. He is abusing her, making her feel threatened in her own home and threatening the security of her children who she has a duty to protect. Phone the Police and speak to a domestic violence officer who will be very helpful in discarding this evil man. Also get on to women's aid.

If he doesn't want to live with her anymore, then he can leave and if he doesn't want to, then he can be assisted out of the door.

An injunction can be sought against a person who threatens you and hurts you. He would be helped out of the premises!

In my opinion, this poor female will find a new, better life when she is shot of this man. She will be free to be happy, find 'love' of the real kind, not the kind he offers which is temporary and subject to conditions. She will be able to relax and start again.

It is her house also, tell her to get him out. It's actually very easy to do in these circumstances and impossible for him to do to her, which is why he is intimidating and hurting her to try to get what he wants by driving her away. Do not give in to this, fight back, get your own back and win. Win your freedom, your home, the right to handle your own money.

Ember xx

susiesue_2

i bet he's got another woman!! :mad:
she need to put all his clothes in a bin bag and change the locks. if he attempts to break in call the police they will be on her side

margaretclare

I agree with Susie and Ember.

We have watched this kind of situation going on next door to us.

A week ago the young man arrived home escorted by a police officer, that was just to pick up some of his clothes etc. She told us he would be coming back to clear up a lot of scrap metal, bits of cars, piles of tyres etc that he had to move before the house can be sold (his hobby was modifying scrap cars then racing them, bringing them home in bits and doing it all over again with another scrap car). Yesterday a police car again, his mate has a lorry with winch and together they loaded cars, old tyres, you name it, on to the lorry, under the watchful eye of a police officer, who had a list of things he was allowed to take. (I think the value of our property must have shot up now all that scrap metal isn't next door to us!!) So he was only allowed to come back to what had been his home by police car and with an officer to watch what he did. She's been busy clearing and packing up all week helped by her mother.

The locks were changed a week ago, that was before the police brought him back the first time.

Aunty Margaret