Getting married: I own the house, where do I stand

Lamby_2

Hi everyone -this is my first post ...

I'm getting married in November...my fiance has moved in with me (I bought a house with an inheritance from my Grandmother, who saved hard for what she passed on to me). I have continued paying all the mortgage myself as that seemed right, and he is contributing to the bills (which my friends think is too soft!)

Anyway, after the wedding we're planning to move abroad for a few years, keeping the house on as an asset. I assume I'll continue to have full responsibility for it.

Where do I stand once we're married? Does he have equal claim on my house should anything go wrong (of course I don't think it will but I feel I owe it to my Grandmother to look after what she worked so hard to accumulate - I'm trustee for my sister's portion of the estate and have the same protective attitude there)? Are the courts likely to divide it between us given I've asked for no contribution to the mortgage? Is there anyway to protect this asset?

When we come back and sell the house to buy together, how is best to handle the fact I could put down a much bigger deposit compared to him? Or should we put down the same size deposit and I save/invest the money elsewhere for emergencies?

And finally, am I being stupid for not asking him for something towards the mortgage? We both have savings btw and earn about the same salary.

I don't want money to become an issue between us. We're open with each other on all issues - the matter of the house is the only thing I've found it difficult to raise, for obvious reasons (I don't want him to think I doubt our relationship)

Anyone got any thoughts, advice, similar experiences that might help?

Thanks!!

mdb99jh

Tell me I'm wrong, but I thought that when you got married, it was a case of "what's mine is yours, what's yours is mine"

Alternatively you could do a zet-jones and get a prenup...

Who says romance is dead? :eek:

margaretclare

When we got married 4 years ago, we said 'All that I am I give you, all that I have I share with you'. And soon after that, I put the deeds into joint names (had been mine alone) to give him security and protect him in case I died (we were in our 60s then).

I think pre-nuptial agreements are actually becoming more widespread in the UK nowadays. However, without one, it's my understanding that it depends on how long the marriage has lasted and what each party brought to it. It's not the case that it's automatically 50/50 if you split the day after the wedding! But there are people here with much more knowledge.

Aunty Margaret

Gem_

I am sure there are people out there who can correct me but I will have a go at answering your questions.

I have a house that is in my sole name and my husband has never lived in it or made any financial contributions to it, as far as I am aware if we were to separate he would have no claim at all over the property. So if you are living abroad and things go pear shaped then the same should apply. It may get more complicated if he is living in the house with you as if he can claim to have been making a financial contribution to the house such as you paying the mortgage from a joint acc or him doing DIY to increase the value of the house then he MAY have some claim to equity when you sell.

The Deposit Question: when we bought our last house I paid the full deposit and my husband signed it off as a "second charge" against the property, almost like a secured loan. This means that if he sells he must first pay the mortgage company, then me and then he gets the remainder. This means my deposit is safe and also his investment is safe as I can only take out what I put in not 50% of profit.

The 'easier' option is if you are both on the deeds then you could say split the equity 70:30 or first £40,000 profit to go to you and then split the rest 50:50 etc. It can be hard to make a decision on this as the 70:30 is fairer IMO if you go into Negative Equity and the second better in Positive Equity.

There is no easy answer to the question and it is not the most romantic topic of conversation, but it is something that needs to be thought about. After all if it is agreed and on paper then it is one less thing to feel unsure about or fight over.

HTH

Gem

PS I agree with your friends, it does sound like you are being too soft on him.

saver6

Although the mdb99jh has a point, I also think it's a fantasist's view to think that everything will be rosy if you leave as it is and of course you should protect your (and your grandmothers!) investment. More and more people are signing up for pre-nups because they are more savvy about investing as single people, and have seen what happens when a divorce hands that hard earned investment to someone else.

I'm no expert but in my experience I see it this way. At the moment your name's on the deeds, therefore your fiance has no claim on your house whatsover, married or not, as it is an asset gained before marriage.

First things first, speak to your fiance about what HE wants. Men like that approach! If he's not sure, then give him the options below. I don't think it's sensitive at this point. He may even be thinking the same things as you but doesn't want to broach YOU about it!

If both of you are happy for him to not pay the mortgage but also have no rights over the house, then fine, your investment is protected, married or not (although you should be wary that he will have lots more disposable income every month. If he tends to pay for everything else, shopping, going out etc then that's ok)

If he decides that he doesn't want to pay the mortgage but feels he has a moral right as your husband to be on the deeds, then you have to question why and you should definetly say no!

However, if he is happy to pay half of everything, then it is only fair that you offer to put him on the papers (deeds and mortgage so that he is also responsible on paper for his half of the mortgage). Although a pre-nup is a bit extreme for only one asset, you can have an agreement drawn up by a solicitor based on the fact you have already paid off more of the house. A solicitor can do this for a fairly minimal fee (I have one!) so that you know that if it comes to selling the house, you own x% based on your contribution, and he owns y% based on what he has put in, whether you get divorced or just decide to sell up. You can always just ignore it in any event, but you will have it to fall back upon if anything does get nasty. Upon buying a new house, if you decide to split the deposit unevenly next time, then you can just have another agreement drawn up. If you already have savings for emergencies anyway, you'd be better off doing this as you will pay off the mortgage quicker and cheaper! But at this juncture, it's all about whether you want him on the deeds or not.

I've always been one for having equality in a relationship and when you both are earning the same, then household expenditure should be split evenly in such a way that both partners never feel undermined by one paying more than the other, but you also have a right to protect any investments you accumulated before he even came on the scene. I hope I've been of some help.

todderz

Please PLEASE take a look at the following website. This is an issue that should not be treated with anything other than care and with the correct information. Get the facts from a trusted source and make sure you know where you stand. Do not rely on hearsay.

http://www.advicenow.org.uk/livingtogether

Dumbledore55

Hi

I'm no expert but you can see a solicitor to arrange to own the house as tenants in common rather than jointly. You can even allocate what percentage is owned by each of you if one of you has put more money in than the other.

I know it isn't very romantic but it is practical bearing in mind over 50% of marriages end in divorce. Many people male and female have had to hand over their hard earned money or their inheritance following a divorce when their partner stated they would 'never do that'.

My advice is to see a solicitor asap and sort it all out. It may be at a later stage you decide to share everything 50:50 - like when you buy a new house together

Whatever you decide, good luck and I hope you have a lovely wedding

Tran

As i understand it, pre-nuptual agreements aren't cast in stone. They are just an indication of the situation at the time they were made.

So if you got a pre-nup agreement in which it stated that your OH makes no claim on your house and then you divorced 2/3/4 years after the marriage then you would have a very good case for not giving him a share of your house. However if you got divorced after 30 years of marriage, then the pre-nup agreement would not be given as much weight. I hope you see what i mean.

I have a relative who went down this route and this is the advice they were given.

saver6

I think Tran is correct. I remember reading somewhere that in the US pre-nups tend to be legally binding, but here in the UK, they're treated more as a "guide" for the courts. That's why I suggest the simple solicitor's agreement. Perhaps you could go with your fiance to a solicitor to find out your options and how best to protect yourself and each other.

By the way, forgot to mention - congratulations on your wedding! I hope you have a wonderful day and even better future together.

Lamby_2

Thanks everyone... especially for not making out I am being totally unreasonable (and unromantic) for even considering these questions! My fiance will confirm I am an incurable romantic but I do like to keep my head screwed on when it comes to money..

Thanks for the advicenow website recommendation Todderz - it seems anything I own prior to marriage will continue to be seen as mine afterwards but it can be taken into account as part of any divorce settlement.

I had thought of the tenants in common approach ie he could buy into my house with some of his savings... but someone told me married people couldn't be tenants in common???

Gem - thanks for the idea of a charge against the property. That seems a fair way of going about it.

BTW we pay equal amounts in costs (including going out) but I pay the mortgage so tend to have less disposable income than him... his income isn't stable though as he's on commission.

Lamby_2

BTW thanks for the good wishes for the wedding! He called me his gorgeous wife to be yesterday and it melted my heart! I can't wait!