KIcked when down

Norfolk_Jim

I think we need an "I feel like suicide" section here - a samaritans of the messageboards. As regulars know from previous posts, I have some debt problems and a "difficult" home life. I also had a serious breakdown this time last year and have only just recently returned to work and started coping with life again. In that "bad" year, my debts have trebled and I'm as on my own with them as ever, although tackling them I feel like I'm getting nowhere. Then today I heard back from the vets and my puppy has cancer. You would think that with all the problems I have in life and being a bloke, this wouldn't be like the final straw but it has really got to me. There are times I just feel like driving into an oncomming juggernaught - the wife could make merry with the life insurance and I wouldn't live every day consumed with debt worries - But I just couldn't do that to my kids. I would not put them through that. As a recovering alcoholic I've been dry well over 7 years now but at times like this I just want to go away and drink myself into oblivion - just to escape from it all. I'm sat in an empty office waiting till hometime to go home and encounter who knows what with the wife and kids. Sometimes I want to run away, far far away and never come back - but as I still love my wife and kids, and my pup, only 14 months old and the most loving and playful dog I ever had - I'll just have to be satisfied with getting it off my chest here. Sorry.

adouglasmhor

Sorry mate, I hope tomorrow is a better day. Sounds trite but I sympathise with you.

RAS

Jim

I am really sorry about the puppy, it is heart-breaking.

However, please do not say sorry for off-loading on us here - that is what we are here for as well as basic advice.

Big HUGS.

hypno06

*waves from office in Norwich in case you can see me*

Sorry to read that you feel like this today.....life sucks sometimes and it does, indeed, feel like one thing after another.

To coin a local phrase......"keep you a going, bor"

Dave101t

i think we have all felt very low (yes i have) for one reason or another (or indeed multiple reasons) and depression surely is a huge cloud that no matter you feel a little better one day to the next, its always there. just try to weather the storm until it finally passes, you WILL be stronger for it even tho it doesnt seem that way while your stuck in it.

fallenwiccan

these things happen, and when they do they seem to happy a lot. knowing that you have a wife and kids and a beautiful puppy who loves you so much is amazing. the big things can hurt us but the little things are there to make you smile.

I'm sorry i can't quite word it right but each day is a new day and one that only you can control, they may have your past but they can never take your future.

stay strong

scarednshakin

Hi, just read your post and am so sorry for the bad time you have had. Life can be a right pain at times and believe me I know. Lost my parents quite young and had a sister-in-law who hated me. Lost 2 of my dogs in the last 18 months, and am in a mountain of debt so yep know exactly what its like.

I know how tempting drink can be, lived with an alcoholic for 30 years. He always felt that he needed it to be a better person, but there was no better person than him when he was sober - hope that makes sense.

Unfortunately when the drink wears off the problems are still there and probably a few more thrown in. Anyway this is supposed to help and sounds really depressing but you will get through this you have your wife and kids who love and need you.

What has the vet said about the puppy? What can they do, just remember to give him lots of cuddles.

Keep posting and remember that there is always someone here to rant at,
take care of yourself and hope that things get better for you all soon.

WelshWoofer

Hi,
I'm useless at stuff like this but felt compelled to say something.

I hope that things get better for you - can the puppy be treated? Maybe the PDSA can help? Just a small thought but I know how attached I am to my dog and can understand how you feel.

Thinking about you.
xx

Birdy12

Don't think just because you're a bloke that you're not allowed to feel depressed or sad over a pet. Our family dog died years ago, he was old and diagnosed with a tumour before he died but, when he did, my dad cried his eyes out. Yo've got as much right to feel upset about a pet as any other person, male or female. Do your wife and children know about the puppy being diagnosed and do they know how you feel?

Edit - I've just re-read my post and it sounds a bit morbid, about my dog, so my apologies if it has come across like that. I was just trying to say that, just because you're a bloke, it doesn't mean you have to put a brave face on when something cr*p happens.

tealady

Hi. In my eyes showing your caring side makes you a man.

Norfolk_Jim

Thanks for your kind responses.

The Pup will go in for surgery on Friday to remove the tumour, but as it is in the lymph system the prognosis is not good. They'll need to see how aggressive the cancer is but if it is, as suspected Lymphoid cancer then it will be a case of extending life a bit longer rather than cure. The silver lining is that one cost I did not cut back on was pet insurance as I never wanted the pain of my kids thinking I let the pet die to save money.
I dont drink (any more - drank enough to last a lifetime before sobering moment convinced me to dig in and stop drinking no matter what), I dont smoke, I rarely do any of the things I used to enjoy - I just work and pay bills, watch TV, visit this site and go out walking with the dog (Who never tires of stick or ball games) who was a rescue pup and came to me a bundle of nerves and scared of her own shadow. I've cared for and rehabilitated many abused dogs over the years but after marriage and my alsatian died at an old age for an alsatian, also cancer but at least a full life, I decided not to have any more dogs. They become so much a part of your family.