Panicking.....please help

discogirl78

I hope someone can help me, now freaking out a little....

I am married, we have a joint account, joint savings, etc (not with any of my creditors), unfortunately my wonderful husband does not know about my situation, but now I am really worried that if I start getting defaults on my credit file, this will affect his credit rating!!

Does anyone know if this is the case?? If it is, I can't do that to him... he is soo good with money!!! and we want to move in the next 6 months...... oh my god what the hell have I done!!! FREAKING OUT NOW, IN FACT HYPERVENTILATING!!

cydney65

Okay sit down babe and take some deep breaths, into a paper bag if need be. Grab a cuppa and a biccy and try and calm a bit...I'm a newbie so I'll hold the fort until the experienced people come along. Everyone here is great and there is no debt problem that can't be solved, honest. You've taken a big old step and it's scary but you'll be okay. You have a hubby who loves you and that's more important than money. BTW, my OH is also great with money and I hid my debt from her but I told her all about it (eventually) and she was really supportive.

Welcome to the boards and hugs. :hello:

discogirl78

Cydney, he will leave me. I am just so worried!!! I know he will leave me!! I couldn't bear that, that would just be the end!!!

I think I just need to be strict with myself and do this on my own with the DMP. I can't beleive I didn't check this sooner, I don't want his credit rating to be damaged... OMG what the hell have I done....

theunknownstuntman

discogirl, he won't leave you. come on lovely, take some deep breaths and lets see what we can get done. have you posted an SOA, i'll get a link for you. Let the great and the good (not me!) have a look and see where we can cut back etc.

the great and the good will be along shortly to help.

discogirl78

Thank you, please help!!

Can you send me the link?

Horace

Hi Discobaby

If you OH loves you, he won't leave you, sure he will be mad but he will also be supportive. Post your SOA using this handy tool (remembering to click the button marked MSE to formulate it for here and then copy and paste it here). https://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html list everything - incomings and outgoings.

theunknownstuntman

cheers Horace, beat me to it! re the link.
Discogirl. as Horace says, if he loves you, he won't leave you ok? he may be a bit angry and annoyed, but he'll come around. its how us blokes deal with things sometimes.

penny39

Disco, I just wandered over from the DMP support thread. If the situation were reversed would you leave him? Am sure he will feel that he just wants to help you deal with all this and make you realise that you are not alone. Love matters far more than money;give him the chance to help you. Good luck,sending hugs,Penny x

discogirl78

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet
Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 1
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 1
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1200
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1200
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 400
Secured loan repayments................. 0
Hire Purchase (HP) repayments........... 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 0
Electricity............................. 0
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 0
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 25
TV Licence.............................. 0
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 0
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 50
Road tax................................ 10
Car Insurance........................... 41
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 8
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 554

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 1200
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 1200

Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 0........(400)......0
Total secured & HP debts...... 0.........-.........-
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
HBOS ..........................3000......40........0
Egg............................1900......40........0
Tesco..........................1800......40........0
Halifax .......................12000.....303.......8
Lloyds.........................750.......16........0
Barclays ......................850.......20........0
Total unsecured debts..........20300.....459.......-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,200
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 554
Available for debt repayments........... 646
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 459
Amount left after debt repayments....... 187
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 1,200
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -20,300
Net Assets.............................. -19,100
Created using the SOA calculator at www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using IE browser.

I also have £1500 on my Halifax Overdraft. Barclays and lloyds are 0% and I am not sure what the others are.

Any advice would be really helpful.

discogirl78

The reason I have no other utility bills other than mortgage is because I pay £400 into the joint account which covers everything, mortgage, utilties, council tax. Doesn't include food, which we usually just go halves on through the month.

MrsTinks

I think you need to post your SOA before we can start saying what course of action you need to take or look at taking... Ultimately there is every chance he will find out and it will be a million times better if you told him honestly - but do it once we have come up with a solution so instead of presenting him with a problem you are presenting it to him as: "hun this is the situation I have got myself in, and this is my plan for getting out of it by myself, I just need your moral support!" - I think people here find that has worked a lot better than when partners have found out by accident...