Bank of Dad

Loopy_Girl

Caz3121 wrote: »

. The issue is more that the children have no idea about the value of money.....there is no-one handing us money and we work to earn every penny and would like to see the children learn that work ethic...eg if you want something you work for it but they have the concept that if you want something then you expect someone to give you the money to get it.

Sorry but that sounds like a typical teenager. I can't remember knowing the value of money when I was 14 anyway. In fact to be prefectly honest when I was 19 and moved out of the family home I still didn't see the value of money and prefered to spend my money going to raves rather than paying the mortgage (which I did have at 19) some months. It's a huge learning curve and at the moment they think Dad had a bottomless pit and I agree with others that he has to start putting his foot down a bit but to be asking a 14 year old to know the 'value of money' is just a bit too much. They will be interested in Clearasil and Nuts magazine!!:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

I'm not saying that all their behaviour is acceptable but the way you word it, if you were talking about a 18/19 year old then I could see the point.

Btw, I'm 34 and the 'bank of Dad' is still in use for me! Difference is I don't ask anymore but my Dad will pay things for me and refuse to take the money from me (silly things like a new tap or paying the plumber - nothing major). I suppose that's what Dad's do and he wouldn't ever see me short of a packet of fags.....

As I say, I'm not saying that their behaviour is always agreeable to us adults but they are still children, not even near being young adults yet.

They'll learn.....we all do;)

LizzieS_2

Caz, the way the children have grown up is down to poor parenting - obviously mainly mum due to the 400 mile distance, but dad has made a rod for his own back too by giving in all these years. The fact that the mum didn't work for a number of years is irrelevant - these children think money grows on trees far more than the average child because it has always been given upon demand.

I agree with LoopyGirl - parents are always there to give appreciated help (when they can) at a certain age which is well over 14 in most instances.

You will never change the mum, but you can change the influence over value of money. As dad gets abuse anyway, it may be better to use the same method as you used for the Africa trip, ie offer to match the 'extras' £ for £ on childs ability to take responsibility to earn some themselves.

gizmo111

I think I'd pay the CSA amount & pocket money and put any extra you want to spend on the children away in a savings account for when they are older and may need some money.
The mother seems to have a good income and she is jointly responsible for their financial well being, paying for cigs for teenagers is irresponsible madness.
And I don't think 14 is too young to learn some sort of financial awareness - I have 2 teens (13 and nearly 16) and they get £7.50 a week pocket money, and a mobile phone contract - £20 pm each. If they go over the limit then they have to pay the extra. Obvioulsy clothes I buy, but their entertainment and present budget comes out of the pocket money.

Sharree

Kids do need to learn the value of money much younger these days, they want to grow up so fast, and kick off when you try to interfere in their life. They want to be grown ups, but dont want the responsibility that goes along with being a grown up. All we are saying is that everyone has to live their lives when parents split. Why should one parent sit at home on their !!! taking money from the other parent while he works trying to finance 2 families. CM should be paid, and pocket money given, but that is where it should end. Big items should be saved for birthdays and christmas. When we were "having a laugh" it was not at the expence of the children, we were just letting off steam, its hard being a parent and its nice to know that we are not alone and other people are going through exactly the same thing.