i feel like crying!!!!

kimdegsidash

Hi homealone
Happy Birthday for today.

I know it's confusing looking at budgets, they seem to change all the time - but that's life and you should go with the budget that you feel most comfortable with - the one that will leave you with enough to live on whilst still making payments to your creditors that you can afford to keep up. You are not contractually tied to any one debt counselling agency, or their budget! Put the figures you are happiest with into a SOA and print out your own personal budget to send to creditors.

If you have decided to start negotiating yourself with your creditors, then you can use any template letters you wish, or a mishmash of each. Just get the salient points across and enclose the budget that you are happiest with. www.nationaldebtline.co.uk has links to some good template letters and advice in their factsheets about how to go about making pro-rata offers to each creditor.

It probably won't stop anyone ringing you, but you can ignore the calls - or send a letter insisting that they only contact you in writing. Again, template letter for this is on the ND webset above.

What you have to remind yourself is that your health, wellbeing, comfort and your son's needs are a PRIORITY and you must be able to pay your rent, food bills, electricity etc first before paying creditors. I know they shout the loudest and are the most difficult to deal with - but their sole aim is to get more money out of you and you need to remain strong and focussed on your priorities.

If you can visualise a future beyond tomorrow, please do focus on the fact that once you start making regular payments these debts WILL COME DOWN. Once you know what you are offering to each creditor, why not try putting the numbers into a snowball calculator and see when your debt free day will be. http://www.whatsthecost.com/default.aspx

I don't want to get personal, but if your son is 18 soon, is he going to Uni or working? That might bring in additional income or reduce your outgoings a little. Also, the HMRC debt sounds high - was this an overpayment of tax credits if so how did it get so big? If your son remains in full time education, then they could recover some of the overpayment from current tax credits.

Finally, I assume you have made sure you are getting all the benefits you are entitled to? You were a bit vague on council tax benefit, so get your claim in asap if not already.

Hope you have a good day today and come back on Thursday revitalised and ready to roll! :rotfl:

HannaB

kimdegsidash wrote: »

I don't want to get personal, but if your son is 18 soon, is he going to Uni or working? That might bring in additional income or reduce your outgoings a little. />

homealone, I was going to suggest this. Even if he is in college, a weekend/evening job will do him no end of good and clears an extra £50 for you.

Lula-Hula

Hi homealone,

Just popping in to say Happy Birthday :bdaycake: :j

have a :grouphug: & remember that you're never alone when you're a DFW

lots of love
lula
xx

Spirit_2

Things won't always feel this bad, you just have to get through a day at a time. You will always have friends on here to talk to when you need it.

Happy Birthday

Spirit

squidge60

Hi homealone dont come this part of the site much but just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday :bdaycake: maybe you could see this as a turning point in your life x:grouphug: eve x

homealone_2

:j i have just come on even though i vowed not to for at least another 12 hours, buyt came on all the same with my "another year older and deeper in debt" frame of mind and have first read all your messages posted today of some really useful advice, tips for dealing with creditors, answers about using self negotiation, different agencies templates budgets etc (confident enough now to send some out) and just birthday wishes and little cakes and have tears streaming down my face again now but not sad but comforted by all your well wishes i am really really touched that so many of you took the time out of your day to try and help me and not feel so alone. i have said it before and will say it again i dont know how i ever got along before mse came into my life, you have all helped me in so many ways with such a wide variety of things that i never feel truly without a family anymore because i know i can come on here any time day or night with whatever worry and within a matter of minutes someone will come on and reply with either the answers to my questions or if they cant offer solutions plenty will come on to offer a hug. i love you all although i am unlikely to meet any of you. thank you doesnt seem enough for how you have all made me feel on a day i was not looking forward to (and no ex did not bother to text happy birthday) but thank you anyway all of you and i hope i can too one day make someone feel the way you have all made me feel, thanks xxxxxxxx

lozie_2

Belated birthday wishes

Just needed to add my support for you....

I am a newbie on here, 10 days, but with all the support and advice I have received in 10 days, I feel positive enough about the future now to be able to start offering my support to others......

You will get through this...

take care

Loz

Forris

Hi Homealone

You've been quiet for a while. Just thought I'd see how you are getting on. Have you got used to being a year older?

homealone_2

thanks for your concern, dont know where exactly but if you type in homealone in search bar you will be able to see where i am now as i have put new posts on updating everyone. thanks again