Early child care options please?

rach1973

gemmaj wrote:

After all the information I've had, though, I am a bit worried about the feeding (by my parents) while I am at work. I am determined to breast feed if at all possible, but what if I can't express? Or the baby won't take the bottle? Is this a potential disaster or is there always a way around?

Not wanting to scare you but my youngest would not take a bottle for love nor money and stopped breast feeding 1 week before his first birthday...I hope this isn't the case for you and that your baby will happliy take a bottle like my eldest - they are chalk & cheese!!!

Savvy_Sue

gemmaj wrote:

Is this a potential disaster or is there always a way around?

Well, the baby can starve until you get back ... :rotfl:

Which was the choice my eldest made! To be fair, I was never away for very long: the sensation of bursting boobs usually saw to that! So I don't know what he'd have done if I'd been gone all day.

I tried a bottle, I tried a spoon, I tried a cup. Nothing would do except a boob. If there wasn't a boob available, he'd chew your finger off. I DIDN'T try - because no-one suggested it - a syringe.

Counting_Pennies_2

I really don't want to appear rude, but it sounds like you need to sit and talk through with your husband when is good to try for a baby, how you both see raising the child, who the ideal carers are etc.

When you do decide to have the child remember the child will be both of yours. Talk about the child care options with your husband, remember it is his child too. Obviously you earning the most it makes sense to go back to work, and if it is impossible to keep a roof over your heads on his salary it will be necessary for you to go back to work, but not necessarily full-time. He could work part-time and so could you to try and get a balance.

You mention the option to have full pay for nearly half a year, whatever you do take it and don't consider putting your child in nursery at 2 months old if not needed. Your mind is bound to go foggy in the early months with sleep deprivation etc and I am sure you won't be ready to go back to work. Even at 6 months it was hard for all my friends. I was lucky I waited until 12 months, and then only went back very part-time (1 day a week!)

Everyone is uneasy about caring for an unborn, but when they arrive you just get on with it. Encourage dad and you will both become confident parents if you share the load and support one another.

I do agree with the other poster about needed to be sure about your feelings for one another and your belief and respect for one another. A baby only adds to any stresses in life by the demands they bring, if you are unhappy or critical with any aspect of your life it will increase during this time. A lot of people I know have all had stresses at about the 1 year mark after having baby and this tends to be make or break time. Eliminate this as much as you can by sole searching before you take the plunge.

I'm not saying the above to be mean to you, but you need to be in an equally supportive relationship before you consider having a child.

In terms of £100 per month you have put by over the last few years towards the baby fund, it sounds like you have a great pot of cash for when baby comes.
Look on ebay, there are ebay shops who sell brand new cots and cotbeds and very cheap prices (my friend has one and it is great) you don't have to buy brand new, ebay also have great second hand prams, pushchairs, cribs, clothes etc. But even if you do want new Ebay will also sell things much cheaper brand new. Go and research in the shops and then purchase online. kiddicare.com is also a great supplier (they will probably deliver to your area even if considered outside UK)

If you have the NCT (National Childbirth Trust) book in as soon as you are pregnant (they book up quickly) and a few months before baby is due you can attend preparation classes (if money is tight there is a way of paying very little to get the service they provide if you can prove low income). NCT also do nearly new sales where you can pick up nursery equipment very cheaply. Equipping a nursery and getting through the first year in terms of clothes need not cost much at all. Buying all the added extras are not essential (just nice) and I think it is for you a case of weighing up the priorities of being able to stay off work another month or two with baby.

Keep looking on this site for more money saving tips. Good luck hth

jellyhead

a good point made about the housework - if you were both at work and baby was in nursery the housework wouldn't get done either - as long as your husband managed to clear up the mess that he'd made during the day there wouldn't really be a difference. i'm at home with my 6 month old baby and most days i manage to clear away the rubbish and dirty plates, wash sicky clothes and feed and change the baby but not much else (apart from getting my eldest to school and back) - certainly no washing of windows or mowing of lawns goes on while my husband is out at work.

could he work part time (if he loves his job), and maybe put the baby in part time childcare? (or with your parents) maybe he would watch cartoons a lot but i bet he'd also sing silly songs, splash in puddles, play with kites and remote control cars on the park etc.

no offense to nursery staff on here but i have to say that whenever i've dropped off or collected my nephews from nursery they've been goggle eyed in front of a video, or the playstation when they're older. some of the BBC children's programmes are excellent, very educational.

bobsa1

My dd goes to my mum one day a week and is spoilt rotten and watches cbeebies. As it's only one day a week it really doesn't matter.

Could you do a mix of childcare options? we do one day nursery, one day grandma and Dh has her for half a day.

It works for us. Just a thought