Splitting up - my house deposit?

pixie99

Thanks all for your replies.

We've both worked full time since our child was a baby so it's not like he stayed at home to bring the child up, so hope that clears that point up.

Yes people bring different things into a relationship but I suspect he's being awkward to try and make this as difficult as possible for me to leave. He's got very used to living in a nice house all inclusive for £300 a month while I work full time and do all the housework, cooking and shopping. But I don't want to get into all that.

I do have some paperwork for the £9k deposit. I lived in a housing association flat before we moved in together in this house and the £9k was my tenants incentive scheme payment to help tenants get on the housing ladder.

So legally is there room for negotiation for unmarried couples? I thought legally I would have to go with the 50/50 split, and it would be down to my partner's goodwill whether I got my deposit back.

socrates

housesitter wrote: »

Really?
So I should expect an inheritence when my folks die, rather than be happy that they spend their money on their lives now I'm an adult and they have no further responsibility to spoon feed me.

Strike out, make your own place in the world. :rolleyes:

Different cultures different views

socrates

pixie99 wrote: »

Thanks all for your replies.

We've both worked full time since our child was a baby so it's not like he stayed at home to bring the child up, so hope that clears that point up.

Yes people bring different things into a relationship but I suspect he's being awkward to try and make this as difficult as possible for me to leave. He's got very used to living in a nice house all inclusive for £300 a month while I work full time and do all the housework, cooking and shopping. But I don't want to get into all that.

I do have some paperwork for the £9k deposit. I lived in a housing association flat before we moved in together in this house and the £9k was my tenants incentive scheme payment to help tenants get on the housing ladder.

So legally is there room for negotiation for unmarried couples? I thought legally I would have to go with the 50/50 split, and it would be down to my partner's goodwill whether I got my deposit back.

With unmarried couples there are no clear laws. That is why I suggested the 'trust' idea. It will save money and stress by not arguing via solicitors (be prepared for it to get to that)

socrates

Debt_Free_Chick wrote: »

In my very own sad and scarred experience, this is only true up to the point you break up - then it's all about money and possessions.

Its easy for people to talk about 50/50 and roses in the garden - when you do finally break up it is all about money etc - especially if there is a 3rd party involved

Idiophreak

This is an interesting question.

The gf and I are just half-looking at buying a place. If we do, I'll be paying 60% to her 40%...now I'm not sure what I'd expect to get out of the thing again...On the one hand, if I were paying the 40%, I'm *sure* that's all I'd expect to get out (as long as I hadn't "put more in" etc) - on the other hand, I can see myself being happy to split things equally if the worst happened..

Personally, I'd have thought that taking 16% then half the rest, or 9k + interest then half the rest, is an entirely fair settlement...

bryanb

If solicitors get involved they will probably deal with the 9k, especially if things drag on.

poppysarah

bryanb wrote: »

If solicitors get involved they will probably deal with the 9k, especially if things drag on.

Deal with it using it up in legal fees.

You put the £9k in - so in theory you should be able to get that out first and then split the rest - assuming you're selling it and can sell it in the current market.

You could split it according to how much you put in - wage wise... but 50:50 (after deposit) would probably be less argumentative.

And with nowt in writing it's a minefield.

What about relationship counselling?

Imp

I'm with the 50-50 approach. You have been a single unit for so long, it is impossible to split you any other way.

bryanb

poppysarah wrote: »

Deal with it using it up in legal fees.

My point exactly

Debt_Free_Chick

If it gets the stage whereby you need solicitors to argue it out, the solicitors will suggest mediation first. Costs vary - we paid £100 per hour each (Hastings/Bexhill area). The mediator will simply help you both to come to a mutually acceptable compromise and won't try to force one party's solution on to the other - which solicitors are effectively obliged to do, as they act only in the interests of their own client.