Really don't know how long i can cope with all this

Dan.M_3

You seem very well in the know 10past6 - I might need your help in the next month if you don't mind the odd PM!

MyLastFiver

OK relax relax relax.

You have lots of options. I'm sure you will agree that your priority has to be your children, their happiness, upbringing and your relationship with them. Everything else, EVERYthing else, is secondary.

First things first - don't worry about default notices - they look official and scary but they're just computer-generated formalities. The three companies you mention will certainly ignore your correspondence, harrass you and generally act appallingly. Just accept you won't get anywhere with them. Payplan should start paying them something next month so they'll be happy for a while.

If your childcare costs have changed then you need to amend your SOA to reflect this. This will presumably mean that your unsecured creditors get less money, but so be it.

There is something else to think about: How do you really feel about leaving your kids with a professional childminder while you go out to work just to keep your head above water? Because it doesn't have to be that way. The elephant in the living room here (and I'm sorry for being so direct) is that you appear to have a lifestyle you can't support. Well, you can support it if you get free childcare, but that seems to have come to an end. Listen - kids do not care if they grow up in a rented house or a mortgaged house. As long as they're with loving parents, they'll be fine.

When my wife became pregnant last year, we made the decision straight away that she would give up work and bring up the child herself, even though this meant we couldn't afford to service our debts. We decided that even if we lost our house, the important thing was that our baby was with his mother for the important first years of his life. In fact, it never came down to us losing the house, and now we are on a DMP and live within our modest means.

It may be that you could give up your job and still afford the mortgage between you; it may be not. But if not, and you lose the house, is that such a bad thing? I assume your partner works; you wouldn't be destitute, you'd just have to live in a rented house for a few years. Millions of people do just that :-)

The point is, even the worst case scenario isn't that bad. One day, when your kids are grown up, you'll look back on this time and laugh about it.

It's just money - it really isn't that bad.

10past6

MyLastFiver wrote: »

First things first - don't worry about default notices - they look official and scary but they're just computer-generated formalities

I disagree, the consumer MUST take notice of a default notice.

The purpose of a default notice is to allow the consumer time to fix the remedy, prior to the creditor taking action stated on the default notice, part of that action could result in a litigation case.

MyLastFiver

10past6 wrote: »

I disagree, the consumer MUST take notice of a default notice.

The purpose of a default notice is to allow the consumer time to fix the remedy, prior to the creditor taking action stated on the default notice, part of that action could result in a litigation case.

You're right, in that, for people who won't pay their debts, a DFN should be a signal to act.

BUT given that the OPer is already taking all and every action she can, cannot meet the requirements of the Notice, and already knows what the creditors have the power to do, having a DFN drop through the letterbox should not be cause to panic.

I have a little collection of them, each one as meaningless as the others. They demand money I can't pay and make threats that I already know about. My creditors' computers send them every 3 months. They don't matter.

10past6

MyLastFiver wrote: »

having a DFN drop through the letterbox should not be cause to panic

You're incorrect.

Are you aware of how many cases have resulted in a Charging Order being applied to someone's property on the back of a default notice?

I've assisted numerous cases where a default notice has been issued, the defendant has ignored it, just like you advised only to find an N1 court claim drop on their doorstep, the N1 being an application for a charging order.

I'm not referring to those who can't pay / won't pay, creditors don't give a crap about that, they just want there money back.

Dan.M_3

What's the thing to do if you get a default notice through then?

10past6

It depends as each one in it's format varies from another, wait and see if you get one, if you do, create a thread.

rugbymum

MyLastFiver wrote: »

There is something else to think about: How do you really feel about leaving your kids with a professional childminder while you go out to work just to keep your head above water? Because it doesn't have to be that way. The elephant in the living room here (and I'm sorry for being so direct) is that you appear to have a lifestyle you can't support. Well, you can support it if you get free childcare, but that seems to have come to an end. Listen - kids do not care if they grow up in a rented house or a mortgaged house. As long as they're with loving parents, they'll be fine.

When my wife became pregnant last year, we made the decision straight away that she would give up work and bring up the child herself, even though this meant we couldn't afford to service our debts. We decided that even if we lost our house, the important thing was that our baby was with his mother for the important first years of his life. In fact, it never came down to us losing the house, and now we are on a DMP and live within our modest means.

Given that we don't know what the OP circumstances are, we cannot make ANY judgements anout their lifestyle.
You have made a particular decision that works for you. It doesn't work for everyone.
MM have you posted an SOA?
There are some fab people on here who may be able to advise further.
Are you or your partner eligible for childcare vouchers through work? It's been a while since I worked but I remember that I got a certain amount of salary tax-free to pay towards childcare. Can't remember more details but I'm sure there is a childcare genius lurking somewhere (or google it!). HTH

MyLastFiver

OK then - the OPer has had a default notice. What should she now do, that she wasn't doing before? She can't meet the demand if she doesn't have the money.

Are you aware of how many cases have resulted in a Charging Order being applied to someone's property on the back of a default notice?
This is backwards logic. DFNs are a prerequisite for litigation, so the answer, I expect, would be that in every case where a charging order is applied, a DFN has previously been issued. Banks tend to automatically issue a DFN for all 90 day delinquent accounts. So just because for every charging order a DFN has been issued, does not mean that charging orders are a result of a DFN.

I have 11 creditors and get DFNs through the post all the time. I have not been taken to court and nor am I likely to be.

If the OPer had not communicated with her creditors and had been hiding her bills behind the clock, then yes, a DFN would be a signal to start taking her debts seriously. But given that she can't do any more than she is already doing, she shouldn't jump out of her skin when one of these standard letters lands on the mat.

10past6

MyLastFiver wrote: »

I have 11 creditors and get DFNs through the post all the time.

No problem then, you play by your rules, I'm giving my opinion on FACT in the cases I've assisted behind the scenes on here.

I'm not here to argue or score points with you, and for that reason, I'll not be responding to your posts any further within this thread.

Apart from saying, the onus is on each and every consumer to be 100% certain they fully understand any correspondance they receive from a creditor / DCA.