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Lodger Woes in the SmileyPigSty
smileypigface
Posts: 382 Forumite
Inspired by Badger Lady .... I am in the midst of my own lodger angst and thought I would vent on here - as I am at the stage of feeling full of righteous indignation but unable to vent at the lodger as I am trying to 'rise above it' and maintain a professional approach.
I bought a house to be near my new job and decided a couple of lodgers would help out the finances. So I advertised 2 rooms in my 4 bed house (well, it is technically a 3 bed town house but I am using the 'lounge' on the 1st floor as my bedroom so I have room for a small sofa and my dog's crate - so we have our own space and lodgers don't have to put up with my springer spaniel springing everywhere!).
Lodger 1 moved in on 1 Dec 08 - he seemed a normal enough type of a guy, maybe I should have heard the warning bells that a 45 year old man was looking to rent a room in someone's house, but you never know what life has thrown at people - he did warn me that he has lots and lots and lots of books but that was about it.
He said the dog was no problem as he used to have a dog himself - well, I dread to think how he managed a dog of his own - I very quickly discovered that he has no idea how to conduct himself around a dog - he stares at my dog and then .... eventually ... after a long pause ... and much staring ... says the dogs name - by which point the dog is whipped up into a frenzy - he did comment the other day that the dog is very exciteable ... hmm, well an 18 month old springer does have a lot of energy but I did suggest that his hesitation in moving past the dog and going about his business is building anticipation of play occuring - Lodger 2 has no such problems with the dog as she ignores him and goes about her business - which means the dog relaxes and lays down and enjoys her fussing him when she chooses to .. perfect!
Well, Lodger 1 moved in .. with the help of a newly acquired girlfriend - box upon box upon box was carried up to the top floor to his en-suite bedroom. Feeling a bit sorry for him having to try and fit it all in the room in boxes I suggested that he might like to stack the boxes in the spare room (on the top floor too) and unpack them from there and put the stuff away in his bedroom. I had told him that the spare room would be for shared storage and occasional overnight guests in the single bed in that room.
Unfortunately, he was happy to fill the room with some of his boxes - but not quite so happy to unpack them and put the stuff away in his room - and nearly 2 months later not only have the boxes not moved into his room but they have been partially unpacked and the contents spread around the spare room - and gradually more and more of his other belongings have moved across from his room back into the spare room - until the point where he had thrown a very heavy suitcase of his stuff on top of everything else and filled the remaining floor space with his washing on an airer and piles and piles of clothes spread around the room and on the bed.
His room is an absolute disgrace - worse than any teenager I've ever known - the smell is horrendous which he seems to have tried to cover with the use of air fresheners .. which together make a sickly horrible smell on the top floor of the house. The floor is not visible in his room and I don't know how he sleeps in the bed as it is stacked high with belongings, books, papers, clothes etc.
Newly acquired girlfriend is apparently quite keen on him and he spends the majority of his time at her house - which is a small mercy as every time either I or Lodger 2 try to use the kitchen after him we have to clear debris that he has left strewn over the worktops .. food packaging, empty cartons, crumbs, a coathanger (?). We started a 'fairy' box for him .... all the things he thinks a fairy is going to clear away for him (we didn't put the crumbs in!!!).
He filled the washing machine with his laundry ... and was good enough to empty it a week and a half later .. when I got fed up waiting and asked him to!!! Imagine the smell of his washing!
He came in while I was eating my dinner (hot meal) and hovered around until finally asking me to show him how to use the cooker (again!) - no consideration at all for the fact I was eating a hot meal - like a fool I got up to show him, which didn't take long, but then he tried to engage me in a conversation .. about what his girlfriend's son's friend has said about him ..... rather immature, and rather ill-timed in my opinion!
Then newly acquired girlfriend stayed the night after his works do .. my routine involves getting up at 5.30 and walking the dog for an hour or so - I'd done that and was in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil and the toaster to pop up so I could have my brekky while the dog relaxes after his walk/run before going up for my shower ... in he walks wearing nothing much more than a football shirt .. well, I didn't know where to put my face - not a pretty sight! He was clearly surprised to see me ... but did he retreat and cover himself more adequately ... no - not at all - he came into the (small) kitchen and started preparing stuff for himself and his girlfriend - so with very little space available I stepped out into the hallway and fussed the dog clearly waiting for him to get out of my way - the kettle boiled and he merrily poured the hot water out to make his drink - what on earth did he think I was in the kitchen stood next to a near boiling kettle for when he arrived - clearly he credits me with the gift of second sight, and knowing he would be in the kitchen, barely dressed, any second, I'd put the kettle on just for him! Clearly the one mug of water in the kettle was purely for his benefit! Again, no consideration whatsoever!
Unfortunately he has not yet managed to pay his rent on time - his December rent finally arrived in my account on 15th Dec and January's arrived on 14th Jan but only after much chasing and hastening from me - he seems to think that blaming his bank is an acceptable excuse ... hmm, I don't think he would agree it would be acceptable if I was arguing with British Gas and he had to do without hot water or heating for the duration! He just won't accept responsibility for anything at all!
I put a baby gate at the bottom of his stairs which he fails to close - then he complained my dog went up to his floor and pushed his bedroom door open while he was asleep - he claimed the gate was shut ..... so I reckon I can probably give up my job and earn a fantastic living from showing off the only springer spaniel in the world who can simultaneously jump up, push in a release button, lift a lever and pull open a babygate! Fantastic!
I've also had to almost climb into a wheelie bin to remove his plastic bags of rubbish from the cardboard and food recycling bin and put it in the general refuse bin so the binmen would take it ... apparently I can blame his girlfriend for that as she was helping him sort out his rubbish! Oh, that's fine then!
After a weekend away I come home to find the house empty and one is his large bedroom windows wide open with wind and rain lashing in - so I have to go up and close his window (which is how I noticed he had switched off the extractor fan in his en-suite (with no window!) - oh, and for good measure he'd also turned the one off in the main bathroom next door (also with no window!) - he finally returned to the house on the Wednesday - so that's at least 4 days of leaving my house insecure and allow rain to blow in!
He is continually rude to Lodger 2 (who is 24 and has paid her rent on time, and cleans up after herself - and after him!) - when she asked him if he would be home over the weekend when she would be in the house on her own and wanted to know if she could expect noises in the night from him coming home - he was really rude and just retorted .. why, are you having a party?
On giving Lodger 2's room a final clean the day before she moved in, I opened the fitted wardrobe in her room to find .. surprise ... a pile of Lodger 1's boxes stacked up in there!!!!! So I carried the lighter ones up to his room and left the heavy one at the bottom of his stairs to take up .... two weeks later the box finally moved .... 3 feet in total - he kindly put it on the turn of the stairs ready for me and Lodger 2 to trip over on our way to/from our bathroom on the top floor! So I lugged it up the stairs and left it outside his door!
On the nights he does come back .. usually (due to work shifts) in the early hours he leaves all the lights on behind him as he makes his way to the top of the house - the light on my landing wakes me up and I end up having to get out of bed to turn the lights off!
So, this all came to a head week before last and he informed me he would give me notice once he'd found somewhere else to live ... hmmm, I think not - I served him notice to move out on 28 Feb - but only if his rent for Feb arrives by the end of banking business on Mon 2 Feb - in that case he will have 48 hours to shift his stuff and I'll refund his deposit in exchange for my keys.
I have a horrible feeling the rent won't arrive and he won't turn up to face up to his responsibilities and move his stuff and I'll end up having to lug it all down two flights of stairs to put them in the shed for him to collect!!!!!!!!
Sorry for the hugely rambling rant - I have a feeling of dread that this isn't going to end well .... I suppose it's not ending well already going by the incedibly childish and sulky text messages he has sent me ... his response to being asked to leave the kitchen how he found it .. is to remove his food from the kitchen and declare that he won't use it any more!!!!
Where do these people come from!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And if anyone actually got to the end of that they deserve a medal :rotfl:
I bought a house to be near my new job and decided a couple of lodgers would help out the finances. So I advertised 2 rooms in my 4 bed house (well, it is technically a 3 bed town house but I am using the 'lounge' on the 1st floor as my bedroom so I have room for a small sofa and my dog's crate - so we have our own space and lodgers don't have to put up with my springer spaniel springing everywhere!).
Lodger 1 moved in on 1 Dec 08 - he seemed a normal enough type of a guy, maybe I should have heard the warning bells that a 45 year old man was looking to rent a room in someone's house, but you never know what life has thrown at people - he did warn me that he has lots and lots and lots of books but that was about it.
He said the dog was no problem as he used to have a dog himself - well, I dread to think how he managed a dog of his own - I very quickly discovered that he has no idea how to conduct himself around a dog - he stares at my dog and then .... eventually ... after a long pause ... and much staring ... says the dogs name - by which point the dog is whipped up into a frenzy - he did comment the other day that the dog is very exciteable ... hmm, well an 18 month old springer does have a lot of energy but I did suggest that his hesitation in moving past the dog and going about his business is building anticipation of play occuring - Lodger 2 has no such problems with the dog as she ignores him and goes about her business - which means the dog relaxes and lays down and enjoys her fussing him when she chooses to .. perfect!
Well, Lodger 1 moved in .. with the help of a newly acquired girlfriend - box upon box upon box was carried up to the top floor to his en-suite bedroom. Feeling a bit sorry for him having to try and fit it all in the room in boxes I suggested that he might like to stack the boxes in the spare room (on the top floor too) and unpack them from there and put the stuff away in his bedroom. I had told him that the spare room would be for shared storage and occasional overnight guests in the single bed in that room.
Unfortunately, he was happy to fill the room with some of his boxes - but not quite so happy to unpack them and put the stuff away in his room - and nearly 2 months later not only have the boxes not moved into his room but they have been partially unpacked and the contents spread around the spare room - and gradually more and more of his other belongings have moved across from his room back into the spare room - until the point where he had thrown a very heavy suitcase of his stuff on top of everything else and filled the remaining floor space with his washing on an airer and piles and piles of clothes spread around the room and on the bed.
His room is an absolute disgrace - worse than any teenager I've ever known - the smell is horrendous which he seems to have tried to cover with the use of air fresheners .. which together make a sickly horrible smell on the top floor of the house. The floor is not visible in his room and I don't know how he sleeps in the bed as it is stacked high with belongings, books, papers, clothes etc.
Newly acquired girlfriend is apparently quite keen on him and he spends the majority of his time at her house - which is a small mercy as every time either I or Lodger 2 try to use the kitchen after him we have to clear debris that he has left strewn over the worktops .. food packaging, empty cartons, crumbs, a coathanger (?). We started a 'fairy' box for him .... all the things he thinks a fairy is going to clear away for him (we didn't put the crumbs in!!!).
He filled the washing machine with his laundry ... and was good enough to empty it a week and a half later .. when I got fed up waiting and asked him to!!! Imagine the smell of his washing!
He came in while I was eating my dinner (hot meal) and hovered around until finally asking me to show him how to use the cooker (again!) - no consideration at all for the fact I was eating a hot meal - like a fool I got up to show him, which didn't take long, but then he tried to engage me in a conversation .. about what his girlfriend's son's friend has said about him ..... rather immature, and rather ill-timed in my opinion!
Then newly acquired girlfriend stayed the night after his works do .. my routine involves getting up at 5.30 and walking the dog for an hour or so - I'd done that and was in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil and the toaster to pop up so I could have my brekky while the dog relaxes after his walk/run before going up for my shower ... in he walks wearing nothing much more than a football shirt .. well, I didn't know where to put my face - not a pretty sight! He was clearly surprised to see me ... but did he retreat and cover himself more adequately ... no - not at all - he came into the (small) kitchen and started preparing stuff for himself and his girlfriend - so with very little space available I stepped out into the hallway and fussed the dog clearly waiting for him to get out of my way - the kettle boiled and he merrily poured the hot water out to make his drink - what on earth did he think I was in the kitchen stood next to a near boiling kettle for when he arrived - clearly he credits me with the gift of second sight, and knowing he would be in the kitchen, barely dressed, any second, I'd put the kettle on just for him! Clearly the one mug of water in the kettle was purely for his benefit! Again, no consideration whatsoever!
Unfortunately he has not yet managed to pay his rent on time - his December rent finally arrived in my account on 15th Dec and January's arrived on 14th Jan but only after much chasing and hastening from me - he seems to think that blaming his bank is an acceptable excuse ... hmm, I don't think he would agree it would be acceptable if I was arguing with British Gas and he had to do without hot water or heating for the duration! He just won't accept responsibility for anything at all!
I put a baby gate at the bottom of his stairs which he fails to close - then he complained my dog went up to his floor and pushed his bedroom door open while he was asleep - he claimed the gate was shut ..... so I reckon I can probably give up my job and earn a fantastic living from showing off the only springer spaniel in the world who can simultaneously jump up, push in a release button, lift a lever and pull open a babygate! Fantastic!
I've also had to almost climb into a wheelie bin to remove his plastic bags of rubbish from the cardboard and food recycling bin and put it in the general refuse bin so the binmen would take it ... apparently I can blame his girlfriend for that as she was helping him sort out his rubbish! Oh, that's fine then!
After a weekend away I come home to find the house empty and one is his large bedroom windows wide open with wind and rain lashing in - so I have to go up and close his window (which is how I noticed he had switched off the extractor fan in his en-suite (with no window!) - oh, and for good measure he'd also turned the one off in the main bathroom next door (also with no window!) - he finally returned to the house on the Wednesday - so that's at least 4 days of leaving my house insecure and allow rain to blow in!
He is continually rude to Lodger 2 (who is 24 and has paid her rent on time, and cleans up after herself - and after him!) - when she asked him if he would be home over the weekend when she would be in the house on her own and wanted to know if she could expect noises in the night from him coming home - he was really rude and just retorted .. why, are you having a party?
On giving Lodger 2's room a final clean the day before she moved in, I opened the fitted wardrobe in her room to find .. surprise ... a pile of Lodger 1's boxes stacked up in there!!!!! So I carried the lighter ones up to his room and left the heavy one at the bottom of his stairs to take up .... two weeks later the box finally moved .... 3 feet in total - he kindly put it on the turn of the stairs ready for me and Lodger 2 to trip over on our way to/from our bathroom on the top floor! So I lugged it up the stairs and left it outside his door!
On the nights he does come back .. usually (due to work shifts) in the early hours he leaves all the lights on behind him as he makes his way to the top of the house - the light on my landing wakes me up and I end up having to get out of bed to turn the lights off!
So, this all came to a head week before last and he informed me he would give me notice once he'd found somewhere else to live ... hmmm, I think not - I served him notice to move out on 28 Feb - but only if his rent for Feb arrives by the end of banking business on Mon 2 Feb - in that case he will have 48 hours to shift his stuff and I'll refund his deposit in exchange for my keys.
I have a horrible feeling the rent won't arrive and he won't turn up to face up to his responsibilities and move his stuff and I'll end up having to lug it all down two flights of stairs to put them in the shed for him to collect!!!!!!!!
Sorry for the hugely rambling rant - I have a feeling of dread that this isn't going to end well .... I suppose it's not ending well already going by the incedibly childish and sulky text messages he has sent me ... his response to being asked to leave the kitchen how he found it .. is to remove his food from the kitchen and declare that he won't use it any more!!!!
Where do these people come from!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And if anyone actually got to the end of that they deserve a medal :rotfl:
0
Comments
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Get rid.
He sounds horrid.
But seriously, GET RID OF HIM. It'll be worth carrying his stuff downstairs won't it?
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I agree with Poppysarah, he has to go. When mine go, I give them a checkout list of things to do and expect. This states that the room must be thoroughly cleaned, all rubbish disposed of in the bin outside/taken with them. Any items left behind will be disposed of and the cost taken from their deposit.
It normally concentrates the mind!
The lady lodger sounds nice and should not be cleaning up after lazylodger (nor should you)Mortgage free as of 10/02/2015. Every brick and blade of grass belongs to meeeee. :j0 -
I refuse to share my house with anyone. What a complete nightmare!0
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maybe compile a checklist of what is expected for the next lodger ? groundrules do set the tone0
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You have all my sympathy. It's amazing how you can go about your day meeting normal grounded like minded people that are interesting and varied, but advertise a spare room and all the nutters come out the wood work ! I have lodgers and so far I have had 2 good ones and 2 bad ones ( I know what you mean about the smell ). Unfortunately for me my first was a South African lawyer who was beyond perfect so I use him as the yardstick and of course no one will come close.
As a rule I would advise that in future don't go for anyone with baggage (recently divorced, anyone with children- cos they will end up staying the night at some point and most importantly no physco dutch girlfriends !)
If you get it right, and I have at the moment, its brilliant and a great help. Good luck !0 -
Thank you for the replies - a moving out checklist is a great idea - thanks for that Spirit I'll definitely do that.
And you are right I definitely need to be more selective when interviewing and not rely on my instincts quite so much!
I should maybe compile a multi-choice questionnaire when interviewing again - to see if their chosen answer matches mine ...
Things like:
You have just finished eating your tea, you have used an oven baking tray which now has a layer of grease on it. Do you:
a. Put it back in the oven and shut the door and leave it - out of sight is out of mind and anyway you won't need to use it again for a while so someone will have probably cleaned it by then.
b. Wash it up and put it away and leave the house with a clean baking tray and a clear conscience and happy housemates.
c. Leave it in the washing up bowl ready for the next person who can be bothered to run hot soapy water.
This would have definitely been an indication of LazyLodger's approach to cleanliness in the kitchen!!!! :eek:
You are so right Worried Jim - where do these people come from?!!!??!!!!!
Thanks again x:D0 -
Hi smileypigface,
Hindsight is a wonderful thing eh. My groundrules have evolved really from experience. who would have thought that I would have to write in "no filesharing/bitmap sites to be used as it uses up the bandwith for other users". turns out that roadmendinglodger was accessing dodgy !!!!!! sites which took eons to download.
Another was 'no laundry to be dried in rooms, please use washing machine, tumble drier and outside washing line when appropriate'. You couldn't imagine with the facilities here that someone (a young French female) would hang her knickers from the curtain rail to dry - especially when her room fronted the road. Her room within days smelled musty and damp.
There is a good thread on the Up Your Income page on letting rooms to lodgers.
I have to say though that i've had more brilliant than weird lodgers :j I wouldn't discount those who were divorced or of a certain age either. People have genuine reasons why they are looking to houseshare in their middle years especially with family breakdown, job location and financial issues.Mortgage free as of 10/02/2015. Every brick and blade of grass belongs to meeeee. :j0 -
Smileypigface, you have made me laugh. You have a great writing style - sell the story to a magazine and make a profit on him!0
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Grrrrrrr... now he's sent me a text message (I am away for the weekend) asking where the shed key is .... as the key has been in the same place since he moved in and he's the only one with anything in the shed - so he was the last one to use the key ... I expect it's where he last put it!!!!
I wonder if this means he's doing his moving out today - as he hasn't used the bike he put in the shed since he moved in.
I'll be driving home with a feeling of dread at what I'm going to find! Certainly if he has moved his stuff out today I'll be deducting a pro-rata-d amount of rent from his deposit as he was only paid up to yesterday!
Groan!!!0 -
I was late 40s when I went into a houseshare. I wasn't weird, well, no more than normal. I moved out because the LL had bailiffs calling and was an escort girl who partied all night and had several men she was sh4gging very loudly most nights.0
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