Dept Head visiting me at home - eek - need advice

miamiink

Thanks staffie - do you think i should let her have a copy of the notes?

Im not in a union no - i used to be and still get the newsletters but i dont actually pay for it!

lily_the_pink

miamiink wrote: »

No havent told the person i have these issues with that i am struggling to deal with them - I didnt know how to tell them and it has snowballed from there. She will know now though.
I did once raise a formal issue with her about a situation i had at work and she said she will sort it but has never yet come back to me to explain what she has done or to see if i feel any better. So i suppose i dont think she would do anything anyway.

I am not sure it is good policy on behalf of the company to make you deal with the person who is causing the situation. If that person is causing a risk to your health and safety (ie stress in this case) then surely they have a responsibility to look at how to improve the situation - you being the junior party involved in all this do not bear ultimate responsibilty for that.

Meanwhile, just get the doctor to sign another sick note if necessary and dont feel guilty.

I think you have been quite wise to keep notes - make sure you do not hand over originals (sure you wouldnt but just in case any carefree pregnancy hormones quick in). If you are not in a trade union it might not be a bad time to join as they can be useful in this sort of situation.

I was once in a similar situation - looking back now I cant believe how it happened. In my case the woman was an outright bully, and after she left the whole office and my job changed for the better. I wish I had had the courage to take time off for stress - the company might have made an attempt to sort it out. (They might be worried that you will end up suing for constructive dismissal some months down the line if you left etc so they may just be trying to cover themselves - but I would take the managers manager at face value for now).

staffie1

No reason why you can't give her a copy of the notes - but only if she asks.

Just do everything by the book in terms of going to the doctors and getting sicknotes if you're going to be off for longer than the initial 2 wks, and write notes of the conversation you have on Monday with the Dept Head.

It seems like a decent firm you work for so I'm sure it will get resolved. You do have the law on your side, and it just isn't right that you go to work to be made to feel ill or undervalued. Your manager needs to learn some people skills and they will probably sort some training out for her or remove her ultimately. A bit of support from your team mates would be good too if they all feel the same. Tell the Dept Head that others feel the same too.

miamiink

lily_the_pink wrote: »

I am not sure it is good policy on behalf of the company to make you deal with the person who is causing the situation. If that person is causing a risk to your health and safety (ie stress in this case) then surely they have a responsibility to look at how to improve the situation - you being the junior party involved in all this do not bear ultimate responsibilty for that.

Hi thanks Lily

Its not the manager who i have the problems with thats coming - thank goodnes i woulod be a mess now if that was the case - its her manager so in effect the Head of the Overall Dept. So its being dealt with quite high up now on the recommendation of OH.

Staffie, I agree with you. The best outcome for this would be more training for her.

Although and I dont know how well work will respond to this but this has built up for me over 7 months, so I dont feel it can be unpicked overnight. I think it will take a while to get back on an even keel. I have extra responsibilities in the office which i will ask to be removed for now while i deal with this back at work. I also do really want a change of manager before we go back. I am happy to mend bridges providing she gets more training but for now I think it would be silly of the company to put me back under her wing for now.

My midwives put me down as a high risk pregnancy too now because of the high BP and gestational diabetes so I am in no rush to go back - I need to think of my health as you say.

One other concern I have, if my manager is removed from being my immediate manager - is it realistic for them to expect me in the next day. As even if they removed her and, say, as of next week I have a new manager I dont feel I could go back straight after this sick note. The whole experience has left me rather raw and under the weather.

Poppy9

Can I ask why you are training people and then they are promoted over you? Is it just that you are not interested in promotion or has someone black balled you and blocked you.

Zazen999

miamiink wrote: »

One other concern I have, if my manager is removed from being my immediate manager - is it realistic for them to expect me in the next day. As even if they removed her and, say, as of next week I have a new manager I dont feel I could go back straight after this sick note. The whole experience has left me rather raw and under the weather.

Hi

It sounds a bit of a nightmare, but you need to take this sick leave, and get a check over by your doc before even thinking of returning to work.

I hope Monday goes well, it is a good sign that the OH have raised this and the dept manager is coming.

miamiink

Poppy9 wrote: »

Can I ask why you are training people and then they are promoted over you? Is it just that you are not interested in promotion or has someone black balled you and blocked you.

Hi Poppy
That area of the job does not appeal to me. The idea of being a team leader or Head of Dept is my idea of a nightmare. My career aspirations are more analysis lined and due to mat leave i had to put a promotion on hold in order to get back into the swing of things before climbing anymore!

Tbh I am happy with the job I am in at present and for the last eighteen months promotions have been on hold in my dept so I have bided my time. I dont understand what black balled and blocked means but I am quessing no .

My Dept Head hasnt undermimed me in order to be in the posistion she is in if that is what you mean?

miamiink

Zazen999 wrote: »

Hi

It sounds a bit of a nightmare, but you need to take this sick leave, and get a check over by your doc before even thinking of returning to work.

I hope Monday goes well, it is a good sign that the OH have raised this and the dept manager is coming.

Thanx Zazen

I am getting a bit nervous now

I wont be going back until I am ready though.

I did have a terrifying thought though earlier today - what if my manager is suspended?? Can it come to that? I dont think I could take the guilt of that now??

flutterbyuk25

You may find it easier on your nerves etc to meet the dept manager elsewhere, like a coffee shop or something? My mum is off sick from work and has monthly meeting with her boss (part of a keep in touch thing they run) and she always meets them in a nice little cafe instead so she doesn't feel to pressurised and its neutral territory.

Hope it goes well

x

Zazen999

miamiink wrote: »

Thanx Zazen

I am getting a bit nervous now

I wont be going back until I am ready though.

I did have a terrifying thought though earlier today - what if my manager is suspended?? Can it come to that? I dont think I could take the guilt of that now??

Why is that a terrifying thought? Your manager should perhaps have thought of that before her actions. Sorry, but it does sound as if she is deliberately putting you into situations and then blaming you for the stress she puts you under.

Don't lose another minute's worry about this. Just be honest with the manager's manager when she comes. Either this is a one off situation and can be nipped in the bud through training of your manager, or she could be a monster in the making and if the area manager isn't made aware of it, others could suffer as you have.

Being a manager sometimes sucks - but you don't have to be a knob as well.

I'd spend your time thinking about possible solutions to this, rather than worrying about her job. And when you meet with the area manager, offer some up to her even if she doesn't ask. It will show that you are concerned rather than out to get anyone [which I am sure you wouldn't be, by the tone of your posts].