Diary of a compulsive spender

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  • Hi Turnaround Sue,

    I've got the bills covered for a couple of months so every extra penny is going into my savings account to go towards the childcare. :D

    Kids are 2 and 5. My DS goes to my mum but I have to pay her which is cheaper than the nursery plus she has DD after school and in school holidays.

    The biggest cost is DD school fees but can't change schools at the moment and even if i could i have to give a full terms notice so it would be September before it made any difference to outgoings.

    I know I should probably take her of out there but I'm just not sure I could do it to her as it is the only stability she's had since her dad left and she loves it so much, plus the alternative school doesn't bear thinking about :eek:
    Sealed Pot Challenge #623, Boots points = 619
    Current Debts: £62K
    :A
  • Francesanne
    Francesanne Posts: 2,081 Forumite
    Combo Breaker First Post First Anniversary
    Forgive me for speaking out of turn but have just read your post and I'm gob smacked that someone with such a huge income could end up spending and owing so much money.Our income is a fraction of yours and we don't go without anything. Really pleased you've decided to get your finances in order. Good luck for the future.
  • So from your post your daughter is 5 and your son is 2? My thought there is is if you keep her in private education, what are you going to do with your son when it comes for him to going to school? If you can't afford to put him in the same place (and at this moment in time, you can't) then I feel you would have to move your dd in the future anyway? I can understand what you say about your dd being in a stable environment, but I feel that it would be easier to move her now than when she is older.

    My niece was in private education up until the time she went to secondary school and then went to the local comp as my brother couldn't afford school fees for his 2 children (both from different relationships) and didn't think it was fair that his first daughter had private education whilst his second didn't. She adapted brilliantly to moving from private education to a state one, and is really happy. Kids are very adaptable and even though it might be hard for a while, things will settle down and she will make friends in her new school. Maybe if you give notice now then you can move her at easter which would make things a little easier as she would have 2 weeks in between changing schools and it wont be such a wrench. If you are not happy with the alternative, is there any other school in the area that she could go to?

    ps sorry just re-read your post and thought it said full month's notice, but have just realised you said 'full term'
    When you were born, you were crying and everyone around was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying! :rotfl:
  • Forgive me for speaking out of turn but have just read your post and I'm gob smacked that someone with such a huge income could end up spending and owing so much money.Our income is a fraction of yours and we don't go without anything. Really pleased you've decided to get your finances in order. Good luck for the future.

    I agree it is a ridiculous way to live although most of the debt was accrued before I earned anywhere near as much money and then when my income did rise I just paid the minimum payments on everything and spent the rest which was silly but what's done is done and hopefully it wont happen again.

    Sue - DS is due to start there this time next year so hopefully I can sort things out before then and if not I will defer his start date until he's due to go to the school rather than the nursery. Not able to deal with this one just yet so not going to change it unless I absolutely have to.

    Main aims at the minute are to find a new job and make sure that when I do every extra penny goes towards paying off some of the debt, I've learnt my lesson on the spending now so hopefully I can get everything turned around.
    Sealed Pot Challenge #623, Boots points = 619
    Current Debts: £62K
    :A
  • Hiya, on the defering him till school, most childcare (nursries, childminders etc) now can get funding from the government which enables you to use them instead of sending them to a school nursery (it will still be free for how ever many hours you get at a school nursery) so should make this issue a little easier and may not have to move him till school!!!

    love rags
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    December 2018: £20,850.24. Now: £18,333.02 Total paid in 2019: £2517.22

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  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,664 Forumite
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    I agree it is a ridiculous way to live although most of the debt was accrued before I earned anywhere near as much money and then when my income did rise I just paid the minimum payments on everything and spent the rest which was silly but what's done is done and hopefully it wont happen again.

    Main aims at the minute are to find a new job and make sure that when I do every extra penny goes towards paying off some of the debt, I've learnt my lesson on the spending now so hopefully I can get everything turned around.

    Don't be too hard on yourself, Lindsey.

    Anyone can get into debt, to some people £1500 of debt is massive, to others that can be just loose change.

    The important thing is that you decided to do something about your debt.

    Regards
  • Jolly2009
    Jolly2009 Posts: 253 Forumite
    Hi Lindsey

    Just wanted to wish you the best of luck with sorting your finances. Don't look back at what has been done, only forward and you'll be fine.

    I used to contract work and know how easy it is to spend spend spend! Sadly I stopped a year or so ago due to the market changing. Thankfully those working for offered some good perm positions to try and tempt us and I took it up. I know you are looking for further contracting work but maybe given state of play you may want to consider the perm position (I think you mentioned) to have a stable income for a while, even just for a year just incase you don't get the contracting work regularly enough. Would the perm job allow you to cover your costs and pay off a bit of debt?

    It's so tough and I think I have had what they call a LBM about 5/6 times in the past year and struggling to get into it at the moment but I will get there.

    Will pop in and catch up from time to time - your making a great start and keep up with the e-baying it seems a good way to earn money back on some of those things you have spent money on in the past.

    Good luck :D xx
    No spend days for March = 3
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  • lexa34
    lexa34 Posts: 587 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Hello,

    Well done for posting this. Here are my thoughts and hope you find something useful!

    £105 is lots for two mobile phones- what provider and tariffs are you on? Could you call them or assess it yourself, if you are stuck on a contract and ask them to assess your calls and see if paying more on line rental will reduce your overall spend. Plus, it is a behaviour thing- ask your self every time you make a call- do I have to make this call or chat for so long, or can I send an email or do it from the landline for free? Even using saynoto0870.co.uk has made a big difference to my bills. Ask OH to do the same too.

    Hope you take this in the helpful spirt that it is meant but if you are paying for school fees (your choice rather than totally essential) when you have so much debt then your priority is the school fees rather than the debt. Plus, would you be able to maintain it when your son is older anyway? How much would you have to earn a year to be able to live reasonably and do this? If that salary figure is fairly realistic for you to earn then great but otherwise you may want to look at this more. Looking at small things like change around the house, milk etc is important and is part of the picture but the big things like two cars and school fees are important too. What about in your job hunt trying to take a job that may be less pay and local but you wouldn't need a car for, or OH could drop you off etc...

    If I recall correctly, you can pay about £17 a month with Tiscali or similar for landline, broadband and still get some free calls.

    The other bit that I have noticed is have you thought about the emotional aspect to your spending? The title of your thread, which I totally relate to, is stating the word complusive. Are you looking at this? I know your were brave enough to say about how in your previous relationship you got lumbered with the debt and had to take responsibility so are your habits a reaction to that or have you always been a spender? Do you spend when stressed, angry, bored, feeling insecure, sad or want to treat yourself? You wrote a few times that you hope you won't get in this situation again and that you hope your OH comes through for you? You are taking control by facing up to the situation, posting on here etc... so you can choose to not, rather than just hope not to get into unpleasant situation again. It is flipping hard to do and easy to type- I know!!!!!! Hopefully, as actions speak louder than words when your OH gets more involved- money-wise and practically you will feel better. I may be over analysing it and reading too much in to your words but it struck me and thought I would say. It this is totally wrong and offends you I apologise in advance- it is always easy to get the wrong end of the stick on a forum when you don't know someone!

    Have you been able to find the interest rates etc... yet?

    Well done and congrats on progress so far!
    Best, best wishes.
    Green and minimal chemicals is the new black- I know a fair old bit about sustainability, specially energy and transport stuff. If I can help- please ask!
  • Sorry just wanted to pick up on something that was touched on earlier - someone asked if you spent cash or plastic and you said cash, then said well debit card. Yes it's different from credit cards but it's STILL PLASTIC and you can still spend money you don't have. I take out a set amount of cash every pay day, from this I pay for my groceries, petrol etc I don't allow myself to go back to the cashline until the next pay day so if I spend too much in Tesco or have one too many take away coffees, tough, I can't spend more than I have in my purse. On the plus side, if I've only got a £20 note in my purse, I can be too stingy to burst it for the sake of a chocolate bar or something!
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  • Hi all,

    Thank you for all your comments, I am attempting to take a set amount of money out of my account each week and sticking to it.

    Trying to budget a bit better and keep control of what is going out.

    We are currently looking at selling one of the cars but it depends whether we can find a buyer...

    Update more later x
    Sealed Pot Challenge #623, Boots points = 619
    Current Debts: £62K
    :A
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