Step parents right?

LondonDiva

You may also want ot contact your local social services department for advise / information - they are there to help, but could give general 'my friend' type advice if you ring anonlymously and more specific info if you are prepared to go into detail.

Good luck, but given the situation you describe, I would urge you to sort out the legalities asap as well as ensuring that your OH has an up to date will which details his wishes about the children's future care if anything happens.

UglyBetty

Strapped wrote: »

Grrrrrr this makes me so angry!!! :mad:

As a social worker, why would you promote something (step parent adoption) that would act to sever (an already shaky by the sounds of things) link with a bio parent? There is no need for adoption here - the OP has a number of options open to her to gain legal PR.

This confirms just about everything I've ever thought about social workers - most of them do not act in the CHILD's best interest!!! (with apologies to the one or two good ones that I'm sure do exist somewhere)

Strapped, You are absolutely correct that there are other more appropriate options to obtain PR. No wonder you are angry, and rightly so. Don't judge the profession by this poster. I find it hard to believe that this person is a social worker as clearly they have little experience of the complexities of work with families and children. Judging by subsequent badly written posts full of spelling errors and inaccuracies, any report by them to the court would not be credible. If they are a social worker then the GSCC (registering body) would be most interested in the malpractice that is admitted to, and promoted by the OP. "Barrack room lawyer" comes to mind.

clairec79

In regard to dentist and doctors could your husband write a letter to them (to be stored in the children's notes) saying that you can allow treatment

Vomityspice

UglyBetty wrote: »

Strapped, You are absolutely correct that there are other more appropriate options to obtain PR. No wonder you are angry, and rightly so. Don't judge the profession by this poster. I find it hard to believe that this person is a social worker as clearly they have little experience of the complexities of work with families and children. Judging by subsequent badly written posts full of spelling errors and inaccuracies, any report by them to the court would not be credible. If they are a social worker then the GSCC (registering body) would be most interested in the malpractice that is admitted to, and promoted by the OP. "Barrack room lawyer" comes to mind.

Here we go......

As to whether a SPA is the appropriate way to gain PR is for the original poster to decide. It is not for me to prejudge what they might do and their reasons for doing so (unlike the inferance of your post). The fact that you believe other methods are more appropriate is your opinion (which you are entitled to hold). The fact there are other ways to obtain PR is important for the OP to know.

Tragically, my 15 years of experience in Social Work is enough to give accurate guidance to the OP. One of the principles of the Children Act 1989 is delay is harmful. My experience in court is currently I have yet to lose a case (although I'm sure it will happen at some point). I generally, take more time when writing reports, so I can only apologise if my spelling is remiss.

It would be nice if you could clarify what malpractice you are referring to? Saying SPA reports are simple to do is an accurate reflection by someone who has actual done them (as opposed to someone who hasn't!).Indeed, promoting an SPA might well be in the best interests of the child (I have no way of knowing). Perhaps you could enlighten me as to what malpractice?

"Barrack room lawyer" comes to mind - Yes, completely true! and shortly to be an actual lawyer (Which I suspect you will never be).

Simply, the fact that you have some difficulty with Step parent adoption, really isn't the issue that concerns me, it is a way of resolving the issue for the OP that is.

Zara33

skylight wrote: »

One small note to add. Parental Responsibilty cannot be taken away for any reason whatsoever. So BM has it and will always have it, even if Step Mum gets it too.

I think it's very rare that a mother will loose her parental rights/responsibilities but it does happen...a judge can remove them.

UglyBetty

I refer to my original post.

Information for persons considering step parent adoption:
An application for a child to be adopted needs to be given very careful consideration. The implications of an Adoption Order will last throughout the child’s life and affect any children he/she may have as an adult.If the court grants an Adoption Order, the step parent will become the child’s full legal parent and the other birth parent loses Parental Responsibility and all legal links with the child, including any rights to maintenance and inheritance from this side of the family. Adoption is the single most drastic order a Court can make concerning a child. It is the only Order that terminates irrevocably the parental responsibility for a birth child, and ends existing legal relationships and Court Orders.
In respect of applications to become a Step-parent, the local authority has a duty to make an assessment of circumstances, including:

• making checks with CRB (Criminal Records Bureau) and other agencies
  
• taking up three personal references from people who know you well
• checking health history and current state of health
• preparing a detailed report for the court.
• seeking the views and consent of the child’s other birth parent and anyone else with parental responsibility
  
• seeking the views of the child(ren), depending on age and understanding.

Every local authority will undertake this work and will also give advice on alternatives which applicants can consider depending on their circumstances. Adoption is a good outcome for many children but it does not suit every situation so parents need to consider their specific circumstances and those of the people who may be affected. The report to the court is necessarily detailed because there are also issues that people may need time to consider, such as inheritance, contact, the effect of an order on the wider family (e.g. grandparents and significant people in the child's life), childs wishes and feelings and affect of the order now and in the future.
I would advise anyone thinking of applying to adopt to contact their local social services for advice. Almost all local authorities have information on adoption and the alternatives on their websites, and you can also discuss your particular circumstances with a social worker before you decide to apply.

anguk

I had a step-mother and she just signed evrything as though she was my mother, although this was a long time ago and my natural mother had died.

My OH and I have never married and we've got 2 kids who were born before the law change which gave unmarried fathers parental rights, legally my OH would have had to apply to the court for parental rights but we never bothered and he's always just signed anything they needed.

It just seems daft to me, my sister-in-law divorced her husband when her kids were young and he's never bothered to have any contact with them since (the kids are now in their 20's) yet he had more legal rights than my OH, despite the fact that my OH has lived with me for the last 23 years and raised our kids just as much as me!