!!!!!ing colleagues

Zazen999

Got2change wrote: »

Thanks for the tip re. the envelopes. Part of the joke (excluding me) was that as the contents are not life or death, it doesn't matter if the envelopes are merely tucked in. That brought the house down with gales of laughter.

People hm?

They need to get over themselves!

bookduck

So you have one? If you are picked on and mocked, then it could be on the camera

nementai

Got to sympathise, been there, shed the tears, thought there was something wrong with me.
I worked 2 jobs like that, first one with a young female boss, second in a small, older team of women.
I now work in a mixed team, where I love everyone. One of the girls snapped at me the other day and a colleague stood up and told her to watch her tone as I hadn't done anything wrong. I could have kissed her.

I think I understand how you feel - too friendly and they'll tell everyone your personal business, too restrained and your 'superior' and a snob.

It does get better, there are real people out there. No ob is worth that stress and self doubt.

Got2change

Zazen!!!!!

Thank you for that
- and your wise words of advice as always.

Don't think there is any way to establish the database question. I could not have amended any addresses - and what to? She was dismissive when I said that - and there really is no way to dig deeper. I know that it was a false accusation - and the start of something (?)

Anyway - frying pan and fire are the words of the moment. Fabulous
There is nowhere to go with this - and I'm pretty (sadly) reconciled to that. She is as high as it gets - above is the Committee - and I ain't tangling with them!. They've probably all been in the office having a laugh at me. (Yep. Paranoid.)

(Crikey - I sound really REALLY paranoid!)

Zazen999

Got2change wrote: »

Zazen!!!!!

Thank you for that
- and your wise words of advice as always.

Don't think there is any way to establish the database question. I could not have amended any addresses - and what to? She was dismissive when I said that - and there really is no way to dig deeper. I know that it was a false accusation - and the start of something (?)

Anyway - frying pan and fire are the words of the moment. Fabulous
There is nowhere to go with this - and I'm pretty (sadly) reconciled to that. She is as high as it gets - above is the Committee - and I ain't tangling with them!. They've probably all been in the office having a laugh at me. (Yep. Paranoid.)

(Crikey - I sound really REALLY paranoid!)

Ok - if it is mentioned again; just be polite and state calmly that until you have been informed what you have changed and what it has been changed to, and when you are supposed to have done it - then there's nothing you can do to help resolve the situation.

They're just picking on you honey...plain and simple. You're the newbie and the focus of attention. If you show any upset it will continue.

Obviously, you can't take the post with you after you've left the building - do they think they control the time/space continuum?

You've got to subtly start sticking up for yourself. Difficult when you need the job of course - but by the sounds of it getting a CV written and out and about whilst you are in work might not be a bad idea.

Don't forget if you need that reference, PM me.

xxx

cazziebo

Got2change

I believe you are tall and gorgeous too! For what it's worth, I'm the only femaie in a male team and I would MUCH rather work with women.... I've had great experiences working with and for women. I think I might be the boss from hell though :rolleyes:

Anyway - on topic. Am I reading this right? Is this stuff that happens when you're not there? If so, forget it. Pretend it doesn't exist. You have a job to do and a part to play. There are positives - you've identified them. It's part time, not bad paid, and close to home. It's a means to an end. Zazen is spot on (she usually is!). Sad women with nothing better to do - and you're being picked on. Don't let the b******s get you down. You're there because it suits you - not for the social life, not because you have to be, not because you get perverse pleasure out of bullying. You're the one with the choice and control here.

Focus on the positives and look for some more. Anything to make it more bearable.

If it's any consolation, and it saddens me to say this, they are probably as nasty about each other as they are about you.

You're better and you can choose to stay or leave. you're in control.

X

Got2change

caziebo - you're right - and so is Zazen.
I don't have so much choice though that I can simply leave - equally staying but with a change in attitude (so far having been described as happy-go-lucky/jolly/breath-if-fresh-air) is likely to be doomed to failure; before you know it I'll be the one "causing a bad atmosphere/standoffish/ice queen/difficult to get to know" and fired.
I have just compiled a bullet-point strategy for tomorrow onwards - my knee-jerk reaction being to plan to never even leave the office/desk and refuse coffee even when made by someone else (and that was just the start of the list), but have now revised my thinking because I don't want to give anything away.
But things will change. Just not sure how yet.
For sure, it's "No More Ms Nice Guy/Gal".

Thank you for your advice too, am signing off for the night so am on the ball tomorrow.

x

Angela

I always have the mantra you can choose your friends but not your work colleagues,so you have at the least to tolerate them.
I also think to myself that if they are talking about me I must be far more interesting than anything they have in there tiny lives.
Just get on with your job and do it to the best of your ability.
I have just had two chefs start talking to me who ignored me for about 4 months due to me reporting them for bullying and verbal abuse of another member of staff,she left they are b88stards and got away with it again.
Difficult trying to call tables away and them not answering so you dont know if they have heard you or not.
I hate 30ish schoolboys.
They know that I will not let them getaway with it and that bugs them that I am still there,I do a good job and the management would never get rid of me.
Dont let it get to you.

rosered1963

Hi Got2change. My guess is that you are bright, nice looking and fun, and these women are none of those things, so are trying to make your life a misery. I know some people will say "stuff them and stick with it". I say don't - find something else and move on. In case you are wondering, when I was younger (and prettier!) ( (25), I worked in a golf club and had a similar experience! Meanwhile, while you are still working there, try and be as nice as possible and befriend them, as even unpleasant people can't help but respond to this and will warm to you. Sounds to me that you are underemployed there anyway and need something that's more challenging.

pennypinchingpenguin

hi got to change, i agree with everyone else - these people are clearly pathetic and miserable in their own lives (proof that money doesnt equal happiness!) and it doesnt matter if what size shape or colour you are, if they dont want you to fit, you wont. there is absolutely nothing wrong with you or your work - you come across as a normal well mannered hard working (feel like saying 'human' here!) person. i doubt these people would even be able to comprehend what is wrong with their behaviour because it sounds to me like they have always been that way in all areas of their sorry lives. my mum went through this in the last few years. we have never had much money due to her being a single parent but as soon as we were all in school she went back to college. she then worked in a job for over 10 years (which was also grossly underpaid) but due to her own personal past, she has never had much self confidence, so she settled into that. that company went bust a few years ago. she got this job in a uni as an administrator and it was hell. much like you describe. it made me so angry to hear what was happening. again these people were all well off and it was not their main income but my mum struggled financially all the time. they looked down their noses because she wasnt wearing designer clothes or covered in fake tan and dripping with expensive jewellery. birthdays and christmasses would come round and you would be expected to contribute £10 - £20 each. if it was your own birthday, you were expected to bring in cakes! (hello?) one woman told how her stupid mother in law bought her the wrong calvin kline perfume so she through it down the stairs! (a grown woman! re gift it of ebay it if you dont like it for goodness sake!) i know it doesnt solve anything much but try your best to keep in mind that whatever you dont have in life, you have a world of wealth that they dont have - decency and respect. i think it must be a sad day to get to your last days on earth and wonder what you did with life - at least you can say that through the struggles and all else - you treated people as you wish to be treated and not like something you'd avoid teetering in your designer heels on. (not taking a dig at anyone who wears designer - people have a right to wear and spend their money on whatever they like - just as the same applies to those not as financially fortunate who may have to wear what they can afford as opposed to what they like)
i wish you luck in future x