!!!!!ing colleagues

Got2change

Not sure if this is just a vent - but I do wonder if anyone can think of a good way forward....

After the year from Hell - preceeded by the job from Hell - I find myself in what should be a "nice little" part time job (not bad hourly rate) vey close to home.

I admit that I had doubts about how well I would fit into the environment (top notch golf club) and the team I would work with (two women who have worked together for 7+ years) but have tried to just show up, get the job done, fit in the best that I can and take the money and run. I have tried to have no problem with the fact that the job is very undemanding and just do whatever is left on my desk for me to do. On a personal level, I have disclosed as little as I can without being standoffish and have joined in when I thought OK to do so. Sounds all right so far yes?

What I have forgotten is that life goes on when I leave for the day and now I find out that that is when the knives come out. Today, I have irrefutable proof that I have been laughed at, poked fun at, mocked and derided and this has been to a high level member of the club who often spends time in the office chatting to my two colleagues. The subjects that were covered (this is not everything); the fact that I take my handbag when I go to the Ladies; the fact that I go to the Ladies at all; a big joke was made about the fact that a task I have been given is deliberately to involve licking 500 envelopes rather than use self-seal; the height of my chair was mocked and demonstrated (I am tall and have adjusted the chair in line with my own size and the work-station ergonomics); additionally, the fact that my clothes are "too small" (I have doubled in size the last year from a small 8 to a large 12 and have only "joked" to my colleagues that I refuse to buy the next size up when in point of fact I simply can't afford new clothes just yet) but mainly the problem is that the buttons seem a bit misplaced and I look a bit bosomy but anything bigger would look like a tent over my mid-section. I was told there was no dress code but now it is hinted that I should wear a jacket all day and a false accustion has been made that I have messed up addresses on the database - when I don't even know how to change them.

Also, the time that I go to make a coffee (for all 3) is noted as is the time I go to the bathroom and return.

It seems the writing is on the wall - again.

I have nowhere to go with this - my line manager is one of my colleagues and also the route for any grievance - and besides, I shouldn't know what I know. But I do - and now it's just a matter of time.

Oh c**p. Anyone got any thought or suggestions?
x

bookduck

I get the impression you are tall and gorgeous with tight fitting clothes, hence the jacket. They are probably very jealous, you are the new one-one out and have nothing in their lives and that is why they are on your case.

They say 90% of all women haters are other women - could be true?

Got2change

bookduck wrote: »

I get the impression you are tall and gorgeous with tight fitting clothes, hence the jacket. They are probably very jealous, you are the new one-one out and have nothing in their lives and that is why they are on your case.

They say 90% of all women haters are other women - could be true?

Ah - thank you. Not true though (once was). One colleague is my age, the other about 15 years older. They have far better and richer lives than I do - why can they just not live and let live? (rhetorical question)

VfM4meplse

Ask yourself whether the job is really worth the unhappiness it is causing. Yes good jobs don't grow on trees but I think you should find a replacement before you even contemplate giving up.

It doesn't sound as if you line manager is very professional but if she akes any pride in her role she should know that the way you have been treated is not on. Just telling her how hurtful her actons have been (don't labour the pount though) should make her consider her own position as a manager.

Emmzi

irrefutable proff? that'd be video, then? or what? gossip? someone else !!!!!ing?

I'd just say 'I overheard some comments that made me uncomfortable, reassure me they aren't true, will you?' and see what happens. Better speak up than be miserable. No formal complaints or anything - just see if they blush..

Got2change

Emmzi wrote: »

irrefutable proff? that'd be video, then? or what? gossip? someone else !!!!!ing?

I'd just say 'I overheard some comments that made me uncomfortable, reassure me they aren't true, will you?' and see what happens. Better speak up than be miserable. No formal complaints or anything - just see if they blush..

I can't reveal (to them) how I know - and overheard simply wouldn't cut it.
I am no longer the brave (foolish) soul that I once was and know that all I can do is soldier on but try to get another job. I think the thing is that I am still on probation (I fail to understand having to work the whole thing if they want me gone, although I know I have my uses if only for stuffing envelopes) so doubt they will keep me on. I have checked the grievance and disciplinary processes and they can get rid of me simply for being (in their opinion which I obviously am) "Unsuitable".

I just feel stupid knowing how I am regarded.

Emmzi

if you can't reveal how you know, that implies something untoward. just how DO you know? have you taped them or something? because I'd reckon that behaviour is probably as bad as theirs.

Got2change

Emmzi wrote: »

if you can't reveal how you know, that implies something untoward. just how DO you know? have you taped them or something? because I'd reckon that behaviour is probably as bad as theirs.

Is it? You think?

squirrelchops

It isn't stupid feeling hurt and angry by their comments. It is worse that they are picking on you for things beyond your control eg height. It seems to me that they are rather insecure in themsleve shence have to target you.

Oddly you say it is a golf club as the worst job I had was in a golf club too. Was only a part time job whilst I studied yet the women were vile. Would leave me to do everything whilst they stood about moaning. I was fortunate in that I cold just quit but couldn't believe I was so down about it. Yhis job defeated me and I am the person who worked for many years in Children's homes routinely being sworn at and physically assaulted...yet I got brow beaten by 2 horrid witches. Sorry that is an insult to witches!!!

Emmzi

Got2change wrote: »

Is it? You think?

yes.

recording them without their consent would be sneaky, shows lack of trust, an invasion of privacy, and doesn't ultimately lead to anything good.

so they were having a !!!!!y day. doesn't mean they *really* think that, it may be for comedy effect. which is not nice, but people do it. doesn't mean you would never win them over. doesn't mean they want to sack you.

does mean you now feel paranoid.

bookduck

Dont do this, get a Polyols like Mannitol, or the not as effective (needs a larger dose) Sorbitol, they are artificial sweetners and swap it out with the sugar. Mannitol especially has a laxative effect, so the sh.t can now flow from both ends!

Just bing some diabetic sweets to work from Thorntons £2+ per bag - and put them in another sweetie bag. That too should keep 'em going and focus their minds on other things.