SOA for a family of 5 - Please can you have a look!!

Aspiring

Jaynee123 wrote: »

I can't decide Combo81 if your a Troll or just stupid but since you obviously are not intending to go bankrupt may I humbly suggest that you return to the dfw forum where they will explain how too dry out old t-bags and make a mini chicken last for 12 meals for a family of 8. This is obviously not the right forum for you. Of course if you ever find yourself in the same position as all of us we will welcome you with open arms and offer you lots of advice and hugs

Jaynee 123

I'm not a troll; I don't have plans or a need to go BR; I don't believe I'm stupid either - but I do admit to being ignorant on the issues of bankruptcy.

I have been in a position, more than once in my life where I have needed to re-use a teabag; and there have definately been times when I've made a chicken stretch beyond it's usual endurance; but I can't help thinking, Jayne 123, that you said that part in a slightly mocking tone? I could be wrong, it's often hard with the written word to get the precise nuance and meaning.

When I was a lot younger, I was brought up around the general attitude that going BR was a shameful thing to happen to someone and quite stimatised. Surely it's better for people to ask genuine questions and perhaps change another's perception, rather than become defensive?

I'm glad Combo81 has been asking questions, because now I have a little bit more of an insight and understanding into how BR works.

combo81

Thanks for the support. But tread carefully, they are touchy.:D

I also thought it was a slighty aloof mocking tone, but Im willing to forgive and move on.

Jaynee123

Yes my comments were said mockingly but we have had a number of visitors recently from the dfw forum who have been less than sympathetic to our chosen path to solvency. I aways feel rather protective towards people who are going through what I have/am going through and I hate people who judge before knowing the full facts! The original post from from Combo81 appeared to be rather aggresive towards the poster, thats why I became annoyed.

The soa for a bankrupt is more like a tax allowances system - it allows certain amounts dependant on the size of the family,these amounts have been decided I understand by the IS people so who are we to argue! There thats my rant over with!!
Jaynee 123

Aspiring

combo81 wrote: »

Thanks for the support. But tread carefully, they are touchy. -

Up to a point, I can almost understand why it would prove a touchy subject though. (Again, I refer to being brought up at a time where it was deemed shameful and stigmatised)

It's not something someone is going to go out and celebrate. And I can imagine, that it could provoke some rather unpleasant comments and attitudes for some people in their real lives; in which case, if that is a person's experience, then I should think it would become quite natural to become defensive. I haven't experienced it, so I really don't know how I would feel.

By the same token, if someone is scrimping and scraping in order to deal with their particular financial issues, it's not really a case of "enjoying" it either.

Horses for courses and "need's must" really; in both scenario's.

Aspiring

Jaynee123 wrote: »

Yes my comments were said mockingly but we have had a number of visitors recently from the dfw forum who have been less than sympathetic to our chosen path to solvency. I aways feel rather protective towards people who are going through what I have/am going through and I hate people who judge before knowing the full facts! The original post from from Combo81 appeared to be rather aggresive towards the poster, thats why I became annoyed.

The soa for a bankrupt is more like a tax allowances system - it allows certain amounts dependant on the size of the family,these amounts have been decided I understand by the IS people so who are we to argue! There thats my rant over with!!
Jaynee 123

Yup, I can see where you are coming from, Jaynee 123.

Personally, I didn't see the original comment as being "rather aggressive"; but then, I'm not sensitive to the issues, nor have I been emotionally drained by the stresses of what it might all have involved to be in your position.

Hopefully though, by genuine questions being asked, the answers can help educate, not alienate, and others will gain a greater understanding.

dalip

I have kept out of this until now but i have to say aspiring. BC is still shameful and stigmatised:o for many of us here.

Stigma is created by peoples attitudes who know nothing of the heartache,stress,illness,divorce ect behind every bc story.

Yes there are many who abuse the system and treat it as a "get out of debt" free card. Many of those people do use this forum,but to distinguish between them and geniune posters is a very hard thing to do.

I am in no way getting at you or combo but due to the sensitivity of the subject we all(me included)have to tread carefully when answering posts. What can be a perfectly innocent question to one poster can appear to be written differently to another.BC is a highly emotional and stressful time and this forum was created to give people going through the same expeience support.

Until you have actually experienced bc it is very had to empathise. I hope to god you are never in a postition to need our support and i mean that in the nicest possible way, as i for one would not wish bc on my worst enemy. There is a lot more to bc that you could ever imagine or get to know by reading this forum.

There ends my input:D

From one very very ashamed discharged bc:o Dx

combo81

But you have to agree, for everyone who goes through the hell of BR there will be BR people who happily dont care. This stigmatises it for the genuine cases. But of course, no one can tell that from a post. And we do all deserve a second chance. This is not my intentions anyway, to stigmatise. I just would like to understand if the process is as simple as people make it sound.
( I mean the actual day, not the events running up to BR)

Aspiring

Thank you dalip, I really appreciate your comments.

I hope I haven't offended anyone when I refered to S&S - I was trying to balance the attitudes of my upbringing against the (small) insight I've gained as a result of combo's questions.

I don't doubt that I'll never full appreciate all the in's and out's, unless I experience it myself; but, it has altered my perception.

I didn't think for one moment you were "getting at" me and I do take your comment on board in the "nicest possible way" that you hope I don't experience it. I hope no one I know personally, experiences it either. But, if they should, I will have more insight now than I've had before and will hopefully be a better help to them because of it. (If that makes sense? I know I know what I mean).

dalip

Combo. That is the problem;) . W can only go by our own personal experiences.The court is a simple procedure in theory. You go, take you money,swear on the bible,some see the judge some don't,he/she stamps your SOA and thats it........in reality for those of us who have never been inside a court before it is scarey,you feel like a criminal,you worry you may see someone you know,you feel you have BANCRUPT stamped on your forehead,that people are looking at you like they "know",you worry your petition will be refused, all sorts of things go through you mind. Like i said on paper i is simple........but.
Dx

Zandytobedebtfree

Maybe this can be ended here, as this has thrown my original post!!!

So anymore suggestions to my SOA, please post. If it refers to anything else, then can I ask that you post your own, so as not to move from my original questions - cheers