Help/advice needed for a newly married friend!

roseydosey

Hi,
My friend has been married for 5 months and she seemed like the luckiest person alive. She rang me today and was in tears, she suspects her husband is cheating on her. He went to visit family abroad, he rejects her calls and when he answers he makes up lame excuses to end the conversation. She has been told by his relatives that they have seen him driving around with another woman and checking in and out of hotels!
I suggested hiring a private investigator, however the problem is that her partner is abroad. She said that all she is interested in is monitoring his mobile phone activity and use that proof to confront him.
Can someone please advise/refer my friend to the right path to discovery. Thanks in advance.

scottishchick27

roseydosey wrote: »

He went to visit family abroad, he rejects her calls and when he answers he makes up lame excuses to end the conversation. She has been told by his relatives that they have seen him driving around with another woman and checking in and out of hotels!

How much more proof does she need than the word of his own family saying that he has been seen driving around with another woman? Seems pretty obvious to me.
I can't really help with the mobile phone question unless she has access to the bill.

spirit

Is he just visiting? Does she know a date when he will be back? Presumably if it supposed to be a family visit he can't stay there very long.

I'm not sure that even if you had access to his mobile phone records that you would get him to confess if he is cheating. He might easily say that a recurring number is a relatives one.

She may just have to have it out with him when he gets back and take it from there IMHO.

I wish her all the very best.

LittleTinker

Is she one of those types of people that if someone does text/phone back within the hour then they get all worried and anxious and start analysing everything?

Perhaps he hasnt answered his phone because hes been out and left it at home....or it was on silent and he didnt hear it. If he was out for the day with his family he might not think to look at his phone every two minutes.

Perhaps he cut the calls short becuase the atmosphere on the phone was icy because of how your friend is thinking? Maybe he cut them short as he was on his way out.

The other woman can be anybody.....a cousin, an aunt.....whenever something thinks of another woman, she automatically becomes gorgeous

Im sure she has nothing to worry about.

roseydosey

LittleTinker wrote: »

Is she one of those types of people that if someone does text/phone back within the hour then they get all worried and anxious and start analysing everything?

No, she is not the type to worry over minor/petty things. However, he did confess about rejecting her calls as he was 'busy'. He keeps his phone with him at all times so it can't be that. My friend said that at one time he answered the calls after rejecting a few times and she could hear a woman's voice in the background. He said he was driving and he was alone! He started playing loud music in the car to disguise the female voice and pretended he could not hear my friend! Its that obvious!

My friend wants to confront him with evidence and yes he will return in a few weeks and his family will not provide evidence as they wish to remain anonymous!

bookduck

Firstly you portray your friend as weird! the chap is on hols, so an excellent time to go through his phone records, credit card etc. - or copies of.

Funny a friend that I had was always attracted to married men and their male family members and apparently still is. She has even been on holiday with the couples, meaning he chap takes his wife on hols and he lets her do her thing, while he is off with the mistress and the wife is non the wiser. To actually find someone to drive around with you would in my eyes suggest that you have previously known the person before you went on hols.

His work place/colleagues is a good place to start, many of us spend a large portion of our day there ;}

If I was on hols to family, I'd want my partner around, I just brings normality int persprctive and there are 'those moments' you share too

soapsudsandsalts

would check his phone bills then you get them check if same number comes up a lot of times when hes home. check his phone when hes asleep at night. emails, etc
i did ( after he told me about the affair ) and it all clicked in phone calls middle of night showering more often taking an hour to drop his daughter off though ahes 2 streets away taking dog out for walks late at night

roseydosey

I think she said he is on pay as you go and he is not international roaming. She mentioned that he is using a simcard purchased from there at the moment. My friend does not have access to his credit card bills etc as he destroys them after opening them!

Cissi

roseydosey wrote: »

I think she said he is on pay as you go and he is not international roaming. She mentioned that he is using a simcard purchased from there at the moment. My friend does not have access to his credit card bills etc as he destroys them after opening them!

How long had she known this man before marrying him? This doesn't to me sound like a healthy relationship to begin with... If she feels the need to investigate and spy on him in order to confront him with evidence, then clearly something is wrong from the start. I think the best thing she can do is cut her losses as soon as possible. I wish her all the best getting through this.

nickyhutch

I wouldn't want to be married to someone who went off on holiday without me for weeks on end.

bookduck

roseydosey wrote: »

My friend does not have access to his credit card bills etc as he destroys them after opening them!

C'mon, you phone up the CC company and ask for a copy. They can go back around 7 years - I think, and there is a charge of about £20.

The cheapest way of finding out is: (a) Keep your distance and do not show anything emotionally, (b) get one/few of these small mp3 players/recorders with a VOX (voice activated switch - with a good internal mike with little hiss(noise)) and leave one in the bedroom/ lounge/car/bathroom - that place he has his conversations. the battery lasts around 2 days and 1Gig should store around 16 hour of continuous talking (c) if there is greater suspicion, take a week of work, or leave early for that week, follow him around (hopefully in a different - conservative car) and keep your distance. Wear a wig - no not a blond one, and dress down and dark colours, and hopefully your friend are average height or below, rather than a 6 foot blond voluptuous amazon woman and a skimpy yellow dress.

Perhaps you would like to do something different for a change and help her out?

A PI approx 10 years cost around £250 a day