Scared to death-50K in debt and hubby doesn't know

lottie26_2

Hi welcome youhave done the right thing to get some help.
Just some questions what are the apr on the loans and cc and also have you any avalible balance on your cc.
I also think you could get your shopping bill down a little, How many children do you have? I have three and we have done really well food wise this month I have cooked all meals from scratch I bought a slow cooker for £9.99 and have used this a lot if you go on the OS forum you will find loads of help with cheap meals etc.
I'm sorry you are not able to tell youe DH about this .Good luck.

Bunnyinthelights

Hi Lottie,
I have 2 children, 3 years and 8 months. I'm sure with careful planning I could drastically reduce my food bills-I have around 1 months worth of frozen ggods available and it would really just be fresh veg and milk, bread, formula etc. I will definatley have a look at the other posts-I do use my slow cooker but could use it more. My one issue is feeding good quality and healthfully (ie. no rubbish sausages etc) but Im sure with savvy shopping that can be achieved.
I will do the APR's etc when I get a free moment.
I was also considering doing childminding to bring in some more money-I am prepared to do the training etc but my 1 concern is that I go a bit barmy with my own 2 let alone other children!
I have been reading Pixie1 posts and she seems to be in a very similar situation.
Bunny

tango

what debt free chick said is very true. you probably know deep down why you have overspent,how you feel in yourself and your relationship will have been influencing factors.
remember it is only money, and you will find a way through this.there are some good people here,and they can offer some good advice
take carex :A

Beckyh_2

Hi Bunny

I totally understand, as I am in a similiar situation. Try phoning the Consumer Credit Counselling Service (0800 138 1111) and they will send you out a help pack. This will include a budget sheet and letters (with your consumer credit counselling service client number on them) to send to your creditors. When you have completed the budget sheet, fill out the letters with the amount you can afford to pay to them each month.

They don't have much choice but to accept this payment. The debts are not secured on anything so they cannot take your home or any of your belongings and you can't go to prison just for owing money.

They may or may not freeze or reduce the interest, but they should do in time. This is your debt only and won't have any repurcussions on anyone else.

It's not ideal, but it would stop the huge monthly payments.
Good luck

pixie1

Hi Bunny,

I just wanted to send you a cyber hug, i am in the same situation as you totally (check out my posts) If you ever need a sounding board or a someone to chat too, please pm me, im here for you

x

crazyhazy

Haven't read all the other posts so apologies if some of this has been said already. Firstly pay a visit to the old style forum for tips on how to cut your shopping bills, those guys really know their stuff! As logn as you're managing to make the min pymts by dd, then I would concentrate on paying any extra off the debts with the highest interest rate first. I also find it good to track my debts with a spreadsheet, helps me to see what I'm achieving, I basically input all the figures at the beginning of the month and have a total debt bit at the end, so I can see how much it is reducing each month. Doesn't help to pay it off any quicker but makes me feel like it's moving in the right direction. I'd also recommend selling as much stuff that you don't need as possible whether through ebay, car boot sales etc. And anything you make pay straight off the debts, you'll soon start to see some light. Just another idea, do you have a change jar in your house? We have a bottle which we all put our change in everyday (usually 50ps or less) and I've been banking this every month or so towards our debts, amazing how quickly it adds up.

Good luck

Addicted2Chocolate

the debts sound like personal debts so accountnat would not know about them.

davisneil

I do not think for a minute that your husband would divorce you on the grounds that you have debt...I think that if you tell him, it would be a bit tense at first, but as they say a problem shared is a problem halved...If you dont tell him it will be a matter of time before he realises and then I think that will make matters much worse.

Not only does sharing and talking about finances help solve the problem, it makes your marriage stronger as you will have not asked to be 'bailed out', rather been honest to your OH and he will realise that. Communication is a biggie in marriage im sure you agree

If anything, isnt it a bit strange that there is that separation in your finances? esp if your income is variable, i mean, would it not be better to pool together what you have then discuss your budget each month, and use the surplus to throw at the debt? I think you shouldnt try to go this alone, but definately talk to your husband about money in general.

If i was your husband, I would be more worried about what it was that was making my wife unhappy and worried...im sure he will be relieved that you got it off your chest?

gallygirl

crazyhazy wrote:

I also find it good to track my debts with a spreadsheet, helps me to see what I'm achieving, I basically input all the figures at the beginning of the month and have a total debt bit at the end, so I can see how much it is reducing each month. Doesn't help to pay it off any quicker but makes me feel like it's moving in the right direction.
Good luck

I agree with crazyhazy. I am v fortunate to only owe mortgage, but need to keep a close rein on spending as 2 kids at uni - 400 a month yikes! I keep a monthly spreadsheet with all regular incomings and outgoings on it and update every time I spend something. I never have a clue how much I have in my account because that's irrelevant - what matters is how much I have on the day before pay day. this stops me splashing out when I have money in the account, and anything left on the last day, even if it's only 30p, gets paid into my offset mortgage (I pay it in at PO - v embarrassing amking 30p credit onto account:o but each 30p knocks a couple of hours off the pay-off date.....

Once you've sorted yourself out sort out the spreadsheet - when you can see your pay-off date you'll become v competitive trying to bring it forward a month.

And good luck.... funny how debt arrives so quickly and p****s off so slowly!!!:rolleyes:

benjilloyd

Hi Bunnyinthelights,

I can fix this in 3 steps:

1. Absorb all the good stuff in this forum and formulate a plan with the help of these good people.
2. Execute the plan for 2 months
3. Tell your husband.

You'll be able to tell your husband you are fixing it, you've done as much as you can but he now needs to help you.

If he sees you've done *everything* you can, it will all be fine.

You must go to him with the answer NOT the problem.

This extends even to telling him how much you need each month from him to fix it, in addition to what you are paying to fix it.

As a bonus I would choose a good venue to tell him.

This will sound stupid.

Tell him you have something important to tell him. Take him to a field, stand in the middle of it, and tell him the truth.

In the middle of the field he will listen to every word you say and if you plan what you say it will go swimmingly.

I'm serious about the field.

4. Never ever do it again. For real this time!

Ok so I lied, there are 4 steps :-)

ps: this is from experience.