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Snaggles

redsquirrel80 wrote: »

Snags, if it's meant to be... but don't be waiting around for him to make his mind up!

I'm a bit worried that maybe it really is meant to be and I'm going to spend the rest of my life on this rollercoaster. :rotfl:

But I'm not going to wait for him to 'be ready'. He knows that I'm not putting my life on hold for him, because I could wait indefinitely, and then when he IS ready for a relationship, he might meet someone else anyway - it's not like he lives just down the road (unless we're counting the M1), so I could very easily be out of sight, out of mind.

Ames

Morning all.

Snaggs, if he's still not talking to you nicely and treating you right then I think you need to walk away. Hope that's not too blunt!

Luc, I'm glad you're feeling more positive.

Snaggles

Lucifa73 wrote: »

How about you suggest a period of no contact for 3 months to let the emotions of the last few weeks settle and then arrange to meet when its not all so fresh and dramatic (for want of a better word). That way you'll both be that bit more removed from what has happened in the last month and will also be further along the path you need to go down with exes?

You might meet up in 3 months and wonder what the hell you were thinking or you might just realise you are meant to be together and start ripping each others' clothes off;)

Does that make sense at all? :rolleyes:

It does make sense, and is actually really good advice thanks - I know that I wont be able to stay away completely for 3 months, because 3 days was horrible enough, but maybe we could agree to not meet up, just stay in touch by text/msn.

The problem is that underneath it all, I like him as a friend, we have sooooo much in common, very similar outlooks, totally on the same wavelength.....the fancying each other was just a bonus really. It's harder to walk away from the friendship than it is the relationship.

daphne_descends

Morning all

Snags you can ignore me and I won't be offended! But in my experience to go from being more-than-friends to just-friends only works if there is distance and space between the two - but this is from a very bitter experience and being messed around, just mates until he'd had a beer and then got wistful and decided we were made for each other... repeat three times a week :rolleyes: and THEN out of the blue deciding that he was right the first time but this new girl, she was now the one for him still hurts to remember. He was just out of a very long-term thing and his ex really had treated him like shhit and for some reason I think he thought he should now be the bad guy :rolleyes:

Just put yourself first is all I'm saying...

Luc I really hope they can at the very least give you those two weeks at their discretion. Twuntish if not :mad:

Maz - good luck on CD! I may join you all in a month or so!

I still cannot speak so considering phoning the docs as per NHS direct's website. but I can't TALK on the phone. :mad:

Snaggles

Ames wrote: »

Morning all.

Snaggs, if he's still not talking to you nicely and treating you right then I think you need to walk away. Hope that's not too blunt!

Luc, I'm glad you're feeling more positive.

Thanks Ames.....what I meant was that he is talking to me a bit TOO nicely...

But I think that's worse! :rotfl:

Snaggles

daphne_descends wrote: »

Morning all

Snags you can ignore me and I won't be offended! But in my experience to go from being more-than-friends to just-friends only works if there is distance and space between the two - but this is from a very bitter experience and being messed around, just mates until he'd had a beer and then got wistful and decided we were made for each other... repeat three times a week :rolleyes: and THEN out of the blue deciding that he was right the first time but this new girl, she was now the one for him still hurts to remember. He was just out of a very long-term thing and his ex really had treated him like shhit and for some reason I think he thought he should now be the bad guy :rolleyes:

Just put yourself first is all I'm saying...

This is EXACTLY what I'm scared will happen. It's hard to know whether to take a risk and accept that your heart might get broken, or to walk away and spend the rest of your life wondering 'what if....'.

Sorry you're no better chick (((hugs)))

postingalwaysposting

redsquirrel80 wrote: »

Morning all, I'm off sick again, coughing and dizzy and temperature and all that stuff
Hugs and fingers crossed for those who need them! x

Aww red, I feel just the same, hugs back hun :A

Mmm porridge, although I hate the stuff I would gladly eat some of that just now. For the past 3 days I have been living on lucazade and ice cubes. I would do anything for some proper food just now, oh I so wish this cold would move on :rolleyes:

Snaggles

Hugs to all those that are ill :grouphug: and a virtual Lemsip (not Lensip )for everyone.

Luc, you continue to accrue holiday entitlement for the first 26 weeks if I'm remembering correctly from when I had Natasha - so you might still be entitled to the holiday (especially as you obviously can't use it when you return to work).

(Land_of)_Maz

Snags - i have been in a very similar situation and once you decide that you cannot be together for whatever reasons, you really need to set up some firm boundaries and he needs to make sure he doesn't cross them... if he does then he's disrespecting you and the current friendship... and IMHO, he needs to respect that before you could ever expect him to respect you in a real relationship....

Lucifa73

Snaggles wrote: »

It does make sense, and is actually really good advice thanks - I know that I wont be able to stay away completely for 3 months, because 3 days was horrible enough, but maybe we could agree to not meet up, just stay in touch by text/msn.

The problem is that underneath it all, I like him as a friend, we have sooooo much in common, very similar outlooks, totally on the same wavelength.....the fancying each other was just a bonus really. It's harder to walk away from the friendship than it is the relationship.

Well maybe 3 months or so limited contact will help you both sort out your feelings and be able to continue as friends without the hang over of trying to be more if you decide that isn't going to work.

Its not often someone with the potential to be a true friend, let alone more, comes into our lives and I think cutting him off with a 'hell no you've been a !!!!!!' considering what you are both going through with relationships that are ending might be a bit short sighted IYSWIM...

If he isn't keen to give a cooling off period a go then it might be time to walk away sooner rather than later...