Child Maintenance (CSA) questions (merged)

Becles

I've heard that many horror stories about the CSA, I'd rather keep away from them if possible.

I know he would too.

Spendless

Is it possible that the holidays abroad have been funded by cc and the day of reckoning has just come calling? I don't know what you can do other than involve the csa.

ginger_nuts

tell him to get an interest free cc and keep paying you .
show him this site to help him with his bills . if it helps him it helps you .

SnowyOwl_2

He needs to take Martin's advice and either earn more or spend less. He could learn to live more frugally and maintain his moral duty to his children.

If spending less isn't going to happen then his other option is to earn more. He can get a bar job, other people do.

You should not compromise - if you must go to the CSA then you should do so. The problem is not of your creation. Don't let him pass it over to you while he lives the highlife.

Becles

I've thought about this overnight and I'm cross now!

His annual income is more than double mine, yet I manage to provide a home and pay my way for 3 people on my income. If he's spent too much and now has problems, it's his own fault and nothing to do with us.

I've written a polite e-mail saying it will hit us hard if he gives us less or no money. I've offered to show him how to cut costs on borrowing and how to save money at home. He's taking the boys out on Friday, so I'll see what he has to say then.

Thanks for all the help

Sarahsaver

I have learnt the hard way not to rely on getting any income from my ex husband. I know it is not fair that he owes over £3000 but if I can stand on my own two feet then if or when i do get anything it will be a bonus, and i am no longer getting bogged down by feeling bitter about the past. I am moving on for the sake of my kids, and if we DO get the money we will have one hell of a holiday!
You were lucky to have things amicable for so long. The csa are crap, but they are there.

Spendless

Becles wrote:

I've thought about this overnight and I'm cross now!

His annual income is more than double mine, yet I manage to provide a home and pay my way for 3 people on my income. If he's spent too much and now has problems, it's his own fault and nothing to do with us.

I've written a polite e-mail saying it will hit us hard if he gives us less or no money. I've offered to show him how to cut costs on borrowing and how to save money at home. He's taking the boys out on Friday, so I'll see what he has to say then.

Thanks for all the help

I hope you sort it out Becles. Bear in mind if you mention that his income is double yours he may point out that net incomes aren't as I assume you receive tax credits/child benefit. Realise you're feeding/clothing 3 to his 1. Just thought I'd mention it. Best wishes

jellyhead

nobody has menioned his gf yet. perhaps she pays for the holidays (you could suggest they take the children with them if they haven't had a holiday this year?). it may be that they've chosen somewhere with high rent and she wants him to pay half, it might be beyond his means if they are living a very expensive lifestyle but that's his problem not yours. if 20% is what the CSA would want then that's what he ought to pay you, you shouldn't have less just so he can take holidays abroad.

bear in mind that if he has the children overnight for one night a week on average then he won't have to pay 20% through the CSA, they will reduce his payment by a seventh.

also, unless you're on income support the CSA are unlikely to get involved anyway, they only take cases where the government gets to keep the money they collect off the father. if you're on tax credits you get to keep maintenance because it's not included in the figures so it's not really in the interests of the government to chase up payments for you :-(

rubytuesday

jellyhead wrote:

nobody has menioned his gf yet. perhaps she pays for the holidays (you could suggest they take the children with them if they haven't had a holiday this year?). it may be that they've chosen somewhere with high rent and she wants him to pay half, it might be beyond his means if they are living a very expensive lifestyle but that's his problem not yours. if 20% is what the CSA would want then that's what he ought to pay you, you shouldn't have less just so he can take holidays abroad.

bear in mind that if he has the children overnight for one night a week on average then he won't have to pay 20% through the CSA, they will reduce his payment by a seventh.

also, unless you're on income support the CSA are unlikely to get involved anyway, they only take cases where the government gets to keep the money they collect off the father. if you're on tax credits you get to keep maintenance because it's not included in the figures so it's not really in the interests of the government to chase up payments for you :-(

The CSA will still get involved if you make a claim but they are rather slow. I ve been waiting 3 years for my claim to be assesed but thats because ex partner has been ducking and diving ,inventing false companies and all sorts but they are onto him now and any luck he will get done for fraud but doubt it as he is like teflon man!!!

Becles

The g/f has her own place and they don't live together. He doesn't have the children over night, and usually just takes them out for tea once or twice a month.

I should add that there's no formal access arrangement, and he's free to see the children pretty much when he wants. I've never stopped him taking them out and would be happy for him to take them more often, but it's his choice to see them 1-2 times a month. He only lives about 5 miles away, and passes our village on his way to/from work.