Councelling/Therapy

Alleycat

I haven't had the checklist done by my HV, she just phoned me and asked if I wanted referring to a counsellor as I broke down when in with the nurse and a lot of stuff came out that I had been burying (the nurse contacted her after asking me if it was okay). Tbh, I haven't been back into the surgery since that occasion.

I used Samaritans the other night when I had a panic attack about going to bed. They were really good and the lovely lady I spoke to spent nearly an hour with me and really helped me to calm down and put a bit of perspective back into things. I really needed to talk to someone and they were the only ones who were open at the time (4.30am).

I really don't feel comfortable mentioning it to my HV. I guess I just want to be seen as coping and being a good mum.

Dora_the_Explorer_5

Alleycat I truly know it's difficult, but I think you will find that your HV will have a great deal of respect for you if you let her know your not coping very well just now. She will already be quite concerned for you.
Lots of mums struggle quite seriously sometimes, so your not unique, odd, or peculiar or different to every other mum, in fact PND is very common. Getting yourself into the best version of a mum you can possibly be will be the very best thing you can do for you offspring and sometimes that means a bit of extra 'engine oil' from someone else.

Alleycat

I guess the fact that she hasn't even tried to get in touch with me since asking me about a referral makes me think that she isn't that bothered.

My friend has PND pretty bad, has self harmed, very tearful etc and I get frustrated with her. I know its an awful thing for one person to think about another, but my symptoms seem to be focussed on anger and frustration when other people don't do things like I want. I do try and spend time with her though and ring her for long chats as I know she needs the support.

Savvy_Sue

Alleycat wrote:

I guess the fact that she hasn't even tried to get in touch with me since asking me about a referral makes me think that she isn't that bothered.

My friend has PND pretty bad, has self harmed, very tearful etc and I get frustrated with her. I know its an awful thing for one person to think about another, but my symptoms seem to be focussed on anger and frustration when other people don't do things like I want. I do try and spend time with her though and ring her for long chats as I know she needs the support.

I do hope your friend is getting the help she needs, sounds pretty bad to me and severe PND needs medical help ASAP. You can't carry it for her, it won't help you to try, so please, Alleycat, phone your HV and ask how long the referral might take. Also if there's a local group for PND would your friend go to that with you? I know my local NCT branch used to run one. Don't know if the APNI site I mentioned earlier is any good, either.

'Normal' PND does eventually go away - well in my case it slid into severe PMT so I was only ghastly for 3 weeks in 4, then 2 weeks in 4, then 1 week in 4, then almost normal! But there is all sorts of help and support available, and as my GP said to me, "I don't like to see you suffer."

I agree that dealing with someone else's depression if you can see things they could do to help is darned difficult! If I hadn't suffered so many times myself I would probably be of the 'snap out of it' brigade!

BungleGirl

I just wanted to say that I suffered PND after I had my daughter, my sister sufferend PND after having her second child. Both of us were given anti-depressants with no mention of counselling. I got through the PND but found myself back on anti-depressants after my father died - again I wasn't offered counselling.

I recently went to my GP (I had moved so it was a different doctor) with stress/anxiety and again given tablets. I took the tablets for a few weeks and then decided to stop them (I'm not reccomending this!) and actually try to sort out my problems. I'm not perfect but I have proved to myself that I can help myself without the use of drugs.

I'm not saying that drugs aren't ever appropriate, but just commenting on the way that some GP's give them out straight away without considering other options. I know that at some point I shall go for counselling as I have several 'issues' (I hate that term!) that keep coming back to haunt me. I guess I try to forget when I should learn to accept?

Anyway I'm rambling now - I started this post to make the following points:-

If you are suffering from PND you are not alone and you WILL get through it although that is hard to believe at the time.

Get all the help that you can - whoever you speak to will have heard it all before and not be shocked by what you say.

If you get the opportunity to have counselling - grab it...I wish I had!

Good luck to everyone who is living with or dealing with their personal demons!

foreverskint

I would really recommend seeing if your local MIND centre can help.

Mine runs a course on PND and also has emergency counselling sessions for those in need.

My GP refered me for counselling at the surgery, and it was the best 7 hours, in terms of sorting out some issues I had.

PND is something that for some people lasts a long long time, but as previous posters have siad it does improve with time and help.
Having said that my daughter is now heading for 3 and i'm still suffering, but I live in hope, and still have support from MIND once a week.

ALI1973

As I said in my earlier post, I had my PNI treated by antidepressants (was on them for 15 months) and a wonderful CPN. It took me 12 months to acknowledge that I had problem, I convinced the HV that I was coping fine, and probably like the rest of us just felt that I didnt "fit" the typical PNI candidate (somehow I imagined lots of crying, not getting out of bed etc) I wasnt like that, I was really angry, frustrated, anxious and panicy. DH wasnt much help, and I have no family nearby so I also felt really lonely.

Im waffling again! - my point being - please please accept ANY help offered, you will get thru it and will be stronger as well. Im pg at the mo (due in April) and I KNOW that I am likely to get it again, but this time I am ready to accept the help offered with my head held high.

Love Ali

Savvy_Sue

ALI1973 wrote:

Im pg at the mo (due in April) and I KNOW that I am likely to get it again, but this time I am ready to accept the help offered with my head held high.

Talk to your midwife. This is in no way medical advice, but I discussed with mine having progesterone therapy after No. 3. In the event I declined the post-birth injections, perhaps unwisely, but did use suppositories later. The injections were supposed to be more effective, I just kidded myself I'd be OK, and it hadn't really been that bad!

That was all a long time ago: if Maternal Teenager Depression was a recognised condition I reckon I'd have it! :rotfl:

My point is, that there ARE things that can be done to help prevent the onset if you've suffered from PND in the past. Your midwife should ask about your previous births and PND, but may skim over it unless you push for help.

Alleycat

Ali, can I pm you?

ALI1973

Sure hun, any time.

Love Ali