Elder care for middle-classes to be abolished!

treliac

harryhound wrote: »

I would be interested in their statistics for length of stay

It's not very long, something like 18 months on average. People rarely move in until they are reaching the end, in unexceptional circumstances that is, especially if they are placed by their local authority. The eligibility criteria for placement prevent people moving into care any earlier.

* Many people will never need 24 hour care at all of course.

treliac

Rosie75 wrote: »

I have always thought I would rather be dead than be in a home suffering from dementia. Losing my mental faculties is the thing that terrifies me the most. However, having observed my in-laws for the last couple of years, they are happier than they have ever been in their lives, existing in their own worlds where the most mundane objects are a source of fascination. I'm not sure I'd agree that they don't have quality of life, after all they seem blissfully happy and think they are on holiday in a hotel with particularly nice staff. All the problems they had before moving to the home have gone, since they are now properly medicated and staff know how to deal with their behaviour. I do think it's the families of dementia suffers who suffer the most.

This is great for your in-laws and lovely for people who can achieve peace of mind.

Unfortunately, there are various forms of dementia and for a great many it is a protracted torment. People can suffer high anxiety, frequently repeating themselves, constantly searching - they often know not what for - and enduring feelings of paranoia, even towards those they previously trusted and felt close to.

If physically fit, they can repeatedly put themselves in danger from wandering and other risks. They can lose inhibitions, thus engaging in harmful behaviour; can suffer feelings of persecution from imaginary beings that surround them; and can develop disconcerting and unpleasant personal habits.

Routines may be completely lost, along with regular patterns of sleeping and waking. The many symptoms of dementias and alzheimers can be some of the most difficult to be experienced in life both for the 'patient' and, especially, for the carer. In its extreme, it is 24 hour work that can only be managed for limited periods within a family setting, if at all.

I only hope that the answer lies in medical science eventually finding the key to managing this awful illness. The future cost to society is otherwise going to be colossal.

Davesnave

I only hope that the answer lies in medical science eventually finding the key to managing this awful illness. The future cost to society is otherwise going to be colossal.

Yes, you need a good sense of humour to cope, even in the early stages.

I was lucky that my Dad stayed in his own home, with back-up from a morning carer and myself, until he was 95.

I was just as fortunate in locating a wonderful care home which, besides being totally 'off the wall' in some respects, gave Dad a really decent quality of life for his last few weeks on Earth. It was a truly amazing place, yet no more expensive than the local LA establishment, which left me miserable for days after my very first fact-finding visit. I did a lot of those, and usually emerged from different homes thinking: 'I know he's got dementia, but I can't put him in there!' It took ages to track the right place down.

As I've hinted above, Dad died from a massive heart attack a month or so after going into the home. Ironic really, as he was eating better than he'd done for years and looked much healthier. At that point we were using his savings to fund him, but had he survived, we would have sold his house to pay the fees.

We figured there'd only be a problem if he reached 103!!

Having equity in your home is a very useful thing in old age. Dad might have received funding for that particular care home if he'd been renting and without savings, but on the whole, it is better to have a real choice rather than be restricted to what the LA is prepared to fund.

To those currently searching for a care home/nursing home, I'd say grit your teeth, leave no stone unturned and have faith. You may need to see twenty. There are good places out there, and not all are expensive, but finding the one that 'fits' can take months.

harryhound

Davesnave wrote: »

Having equity in your home is a very useful thing in old age. Dad might have received funding for that particular care home if he'd been renting and without savings, but on the whole, it is better to have a real choice rather than be restricted to what the LA is prepared to fund.
.

Unfortunately the private individual does not have the negotiating power of the local authority and thus ends up over paying. It is pretty nasty working out how long it will be before the money runs out.
It is just like a small shop keeper going head to head with Tesco.

JoolzS

wymondham wrote: »

There is nothing to fill this gap other than expensive, inadequate care. It's so sad. I saw what happended to my Grandad after he went into care and it tore me apart - I could see him give up within weeks. I strongly believe if he lived with us, amoungst people he knew and loved (especially the younger generation) he would have stayed younger longer and lived out his days to the best possible.

I have to ask - why didn't you care for your granddad?

Julie

Davesnave

harryhound wrote: »

Unfortunately the private individual does not have the negotiating power of the local authority and thus ends up over paying. It is pretty nasty working out how long it will be before the money runs out.
It is just like a small shop keeper going head to head with Tesco.

Well, maybe, but had Dad lived, we wouldn't have overpaid. Costs would have been the same as rather crummy local authority home. The whole point of my post was 'shop around; you don't get exactly the same at each price level.' Some homes are surprisingly distinctive and rise above the general standards of the majority. However, it's a case of matching the home to the person; even if a place is 'good,' it may not be suitable.

Of course, if you want total peace of mind, you can buy an annuity that will cover all care costs until the elderly person dies. The chances are, you'll lose money that way, but certainty doesn't come cheap in any area of life.