Elderly neighbour - what can I do?

sillyvixen

its great to know she has such a caring nieghbour - my grandfather had neighbours like you and had mine and my parents contact details and were on the phone at 10 am if he had not taken in his milk and opened his curtains by then - as he was deaf he did not hear the door or phone if he was having a lie in - he was in his 90's but we would have rather had the false alarms rather than have found him alone and cold days later.

please get contact details of family so next time you are worried about her you have someone to contact if you have concerns in the future.

better safe than sorry - well done on being a caring neighbour and for all your efforts in finding out what is going on:T:T

whatatwit

Well done SilverCharming.
My mum had a signal system with our elderly neighbour. If the curtains hadn't opened by a set time, then mum knew to get help. She had keys, but the door was bolted from the inside.

FrenchMaid_2

Well done you! It's great to hear someone care that much.

We have to the house keys of two elderly neighbours, one is our direct next door neighbour, the other one lives a few houses down. We share so to speak with other neighbours so if we go away they will take the keys. We also have phone numbers for the relatives in case something happens, know their medications and their GP. We are lucky where we live despite the fact that it is in a big city we all know each other in our road and look out for each other. It's lovely. I often would like to move to the country but I think I would miss my neighbours too much...

margaretclare

Got2change wrote: »

Well done you - you are a wonderful person. I second everything everyone has said.

I wish you had been a neighbour to my dear Grandma who lay dead in her kitchen for 26 & 27th December 1999 (I spoke to her on Christmas Day, she was fine) - or at least I 'hope' that she did rather than lay there for nearly two days and then dying........ My uncle - her son - was one minute away but didn't visit because he was having a Mormon Christmas.

....ooooh, don't get me started.

You are a star - I wish there were more like you.

xxx

(PS - My Grandma brought me up from age 2.5, she was the only Mother I ever knew. I am so sad that that is how she met mer end.)

What's a Mormon Christmas???

I think I am lucky where we live - it's a quiet residential street, all ages, families and retired people, we all keep an eye out for each other. Next door, a tall strong guy 50 years younger than us, takes our bins out, we usually bring them back.

I suppose that's how they look at us: 'keeping an eye on our elderly neighbours...'

Now, if next door could only be persuaded to do something about his damned Leylandii....

aliasojo

OP you are lucky you got the replies you did.....someone on another thread commented to her husband in her own house, that she hadn't seen her neighbour or family visiting her for a while and she got shot down for being nosy. People are so fickle sometimes.

Good on you btw.

sloughflint

margaretclare wrote: »

What's a Mormon Christmas???

This intrigued me too. I gather Jehova Witnesses don't celebrate Christmas but was curious about the Mormon comment.Always keen to learn something if poster is willing to share.

I am disappointed in the police and SS for not suggesting the doctor's surgery as that would have been my first thought for getting hold of next of kin numbers.

I'm amazed that some people would consider it nosiness.Good neighbourliness is so important at whatever age.It's good to have a spare key kept with a trusted neighbour and have home and work phone numbers.

margaretclare

Mormon Christmas: I found this: http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/daily/holidays/christmas.html

It doesn't seem all that different from what we Christians think of as 'our' Christmas! So what was the problem about visiting Grandma? Quote from the site: "The Church encourages family closeness, concern for neighbors, thoughtfulness for fellow workers, renewal of friendships, and acts of Christlike love, giving, and celebration".

sloughflint

Silvercharming, if the lady is on the frail side, perhaps she might consider a lifeline pendant/watch? You could perhaps be the secondary named person after family?

You've probably got all the necessary phone details now but had she had a lifeline, you could have called the call centre and they could have tried to get in touch with her ( if she was at home) or contact the first named person.

But having said that, you'd have been a key holder and could have checked on her anyway.

Mely

My soon to be mil has worn some kind of alarm around her neck, and if she had a fall etc she presses it and the help arrives extremely quickly.

Larumbelle

Just a little update in case anyone is interested:

My neighbour returned home today and she looks like she has aged about 15 years in a week :eek: . She's okay - well, as okay as she can be, given the circumstances - and her daughter has made sure she has plenty of food and warmth, and will be visiting regularly. I've now got a door key and her daughter's number in case of emergencies, and I have got numbers for family members for my other neighbours too, just in case.

It probably goes without saying, but PLEASE keep an eye out this winter for any vulnerable neighbours you might have - and remember too that 'vulnerable' doesn't necessarily mean 'old'. This year it seems to be more important than ever to do so. Flu seems to be bad this year, and of the two neighbours of mine who have had it, both had had the vaccine, so that doesn't seem to give total protection. I've seen what flu has done to my neighbour. How often do we say we've had 'flu' when all we've had is a bad cold? My neighbour told me it's only the third time in her life that she's ever had 'real' flu. She said she was so ill she thought she was going to die and that at the time she didn't even care. Added to that, the weather is terrible at the moment, and it is cold enough to kill a frail person if they don't have adequate means of keeping warm. It is also very slippery, and all kinds of people who can usually get out are virtually housebound. Offering a lift when you go to the shops, to pick a few bits up when you're out, or share an online shop could make all the difference to someone.

It doesn't have to take any extra effort to check that people are okay And it will probably be less awkward than you think. If there's one thing I've learnt from all of this is that nobody will think you're an idiot or overreacting They will probably be touched that someone cares even if they don't need anything.

Anyway, I think I know I'm preaching to the converted here, so I'll shut up Thank you again to everyone for your support.