debt....how does it make you feel?

ceegee

JAMIEDODGER wrote:

well done ceegee!!!!!

Well......thank you JAMIEDODGER! I'm quite speechless to find myself there. Must go and have a read!

ozzyfan_2

:T :T :T Congratulations ceegee :T :T :T

this is a really interesting thread you started & I've noticed its been the start for some people in acknowledging their debt & asking for help so you really deserve the mention :T

Fatty_Deposit

It shocks me to hear some people's debt stories. To think what I could buy with the interest payments of the person who admits to being £35,000 in debt (but doesn't admit to being too worried about it).

Call me and my family hopelessly naive, but from the youngest age I was taught to live within my means, however meagre. With the exception of a mortgage, I was always taught that if I couldn't afford to pay for something up front and in full, the purchase should wait until I could.

When I was a student and couldn't afford to eat nice food, I ate beans on toast. It may sound harsh, but over the years I've made do (for the most part) without designer labels, holidays in the sun, plasma TV, expensive mobile phones, and many of the things glossy magazines (which I don't buy) tell us we must own to be worthy of our society.

I occasionally think how wonderful it would be to have a detached house and a new car, but I uprooted and moved cross-country to live in a small, affordable, semi-detached bungalow with my second hand car (and bicycle). When work has been a problem, I've done whatever it takes to keep paying my way. In spite of being a graduate (which I financed myself) I've worked evenings at a fast food place, swept factory floors, stacked shop shelves, emptied dustbins and more besides. Pride won't feed my kids, but hard work will.

With the help of this site I'm just a few thousand pounds away from clearing my mortgage, my only debt.

For me, it's all about choices. When my mortgage is cleared, then I might consider buying some of those glossy magazines and a plasma TV with satellite, perhaps even a camera phone with downloadable ring tones. Until I can afford to pay for them in cash, however (or rather using my Amex Platinum paid off in full every month - thanks MSE!), then I'll make do without. Life's not so hard without them, it's not as though I'm forced to live like Oliver Twist or anything.

And to those of you with massive debts, please don't begrudge me for being frugal (but generous) with what I earn, just think of all those nice possessions you have (but don't really own), and all those sumptuous take-away meals you've eaten whilst watching Sky on your surround-sound TV system.

LOL! Ch-ching!

scottishspendaholic

Hi Fatty Deposit,

I can't decide whether I'm jealous or pity you! No really, well done.

Your post was quite hard to read as you've obviously done everything the right way round when I can see no end in sight to my eventual dream of being debt free and being able to afford the things I love. However, well done on being honest!

SS x

JAMIEDODGER

hi fd,

i admire you. i wish i had done things that way round, but i didnt and now i am going without and hammering those debts. when i am debt free (hopefully dec 2007), i too will be buying things ONLY when i have saved for them. well done you and congratulations on having your mortgage (nearly) paid off!

headchef

Trouble is Fatty Deposit, some or most of us who are in debt do not have a wide screen TV etc etc. Wish I did! Would have something to show for the debt.
Our debt was mainly due to OH not being paid when the company he worked for got into difficulty and then when it was taken over, it was taken over by complete b*****ds who didn't pay thier new employees. My OH and the other few managers who were left claimed constructive dismisal and had to do the legal work themselves as no solicitor would touch the case due to the unlikelyhood of getting money out of the company. Well OH and others won their case but had to take it to High Court to get some kind of enforement order whereby a Sheriff could be employed to get back money owed (unlike Baliffs, Sheriffs have the right to gain entry and take goods etc).
Long story - sorry - but we did get some money back but by then we'd wracked up debts. I would say, like so many others, if I'd found this site earlier I WOULD have done things differently and perahps lessened the damage - for instance, messed up my tax return when I did it the second year, panicked, and drew out the £2000 I found I owed them on my credit card!!! :eek: I now know of course, I should have just phoned the IR up and come to an agreement to pay the amount I owed in instalements :mad:

OH did find another job while all this was going on but earned a lot lot less. I do look around my falling apart kitchen and think 'oh if only I'd spent the money on a new kitchen I'd have SOMETHING to show for the debt! :rolleyes:

headchef

I think you do have a point though Fatty Deposit! You summed it up - it's to do with people's attitudes, experience and up bringing. If only I'd been brought up like you! I was in one way - parents always made do and I have got cross at my brother for getting in debt. He would say he hadn't any money but the next sentence would be 'I've jsut bought this CD', or 'have you tried the lunches at such and such a cafe?'. He couldn't see what I thought was bleedin' obvious
But then I thought about my own situation and I thougtht - well I have no excuse really either. I think if I'd applied more common sense and hadn't panicked or assumed certain things, and managed my OH better...
But all I can say is (like so many others), I've seen the light and am now paying back what I owe :A
More importantly - I'm working on teaching my step children the value of money so any tips from a pro would be very useful!!

Fatty_Deposit

I'm having second thoughts about my post. Perhaps it was unkind.

I admire (and possibly even envy people) who are comfortable living their lives in the present tense, and somehow seem to generate enough wealth to balance their debts, or at least live at peace with them.

When it came to getting my first mortgage in 1991, I bought a rather grim terraced house for £37K, deliberately opting for a small mortgage to make sure I didn't fall foul of rising interest rates. At the same time, a friend got a mortgage for a rather pretentious yet somewhat delapidated listed building for £150K. I thought he was mad. Seven years later, I sold my £37K house for £37K, and started another mortgage, this time for £55K. My friend sold his £150K house for £750K! Surely he was a visionary?

Our mortgage should be paid off this year, and we could do with a bigger home. My wife says we should increase the mortgage while we can still afford to do so, and before house prices rocket further above inflation. The MSE part of me wants to finish paying off the mortgage and then invest the repayments we will be saving until we can afford to buy a bigger home without increasing the mortgage, but if house prices continue as they have, wouldn't it be better to mortgage to the hilt for a couple of years with a house much bigger than we need, then downsize to what we really need and rake in the accrued differential in housing values?

Is it a case of "who dares wins"? Do you need to be bold and brash to live without regret?

Oh, such anguish! If I seek for divine guidance, will Martin Lewis hear my prayers?

Marisan

I think much of how you feel about debt depends on your personality.I'm a bit of a worrier,and so I've run the whole gauntlet of emotions from fear,despair,panic,depression to anger and self-pity.My hubby is more of an optimist,and while concerned about our debts,he refuses to worry.Worrying,he says,won't make things any better.He also believes that even when paying off debt,you are entitled to a life,so we do go on holiday,albeit in the UK self-catering,and we have the occasional take-away meal.

One good thing I have learned (about time too!) is never to spend what you haven't got and I call 'credit' cards 'debt' cards...I'm paying off two (the cards I have cut up) and I will never take out another one.Hard lesson to learn,but worth it.

Debt can take over your life,but I think once you have set plans in place to pay off your creditors you should try,as much as possible,to forget it.

headchef

Oh Fatty Deposit - bless you. I thought I'd over-reacted to your post That's why I posted a second one when I had time to think it through. I realised the same things got me mad and you'll find reading posts on a thread started by Jamiedodger ('Do you bore your friends?') that even those of us in debt get highly frustrated at other people in debt who have a cavalier attitude to it (this seems to be members of our own familes all the time!). We want to help them with the benefit of our experience.
I could have done things differently (managing the OH is becoming a number one priority at the mo) and wish I'd been more cautious since way back when I was at college.
I really admire you and can understand your current dilema. But I don't think (knowing you as I do now LOL you would feel comfortable extending your mortgage. Perhaps there is another way you can keep your wife happy - from a female perspective I feel down and don't like the house when it is messy for instance. Or I was delighted when OH sorted out our sticking bedroom door, and the garden