debt....how does it make you feel?

Tondella

I sort of inherited my debt when OH and I decided to get married. I always knew he had credit card balances that didn't get paid off. i have to say that, even though i had a vague idea of how much he owed I felt really sick when i actually did the sums and worked out how much it would take to shift them. I went into overdrive, thinking of every way I could to get them paid off in record time, but in the end settled for a few, major changes that would enable us to prioritise debt repayment without entirely putting our life on hold. Occasionally I feel sick and have worry days, even though we are more than meeting the minimum repayments. I am constantly thinking of money and trying to get through the month on my budget, but I just love making overpayments on the credit cards, although the current debt total seems to be inching down so slowly! At the moment I'm looking forward to March time when we hope to have sold the motorbike, paid off the engagement ring and (hope against hope) SBT his lloyds loan off the current rate of 10.9%. I do feel more in control of my spending than I ever have and I never have a shock when it comes to looking at my bank balance, plus I just can't help dishing out debt advice to everyone I meet!

jellycat40

I am going to get my bottom whipped here I know it - but I don't care about my creditors at all. I was doing my paperwork yesterday listing debts and cards and reasons and it was not my fault. You will all have to take that as fact coz I am not going into the reasons here. But I do feel uncomfortable at the way I am made to feel about the mess I am in. I am not stupid, I run my own business, I am not lazy, I have a good head for figures but I have made lousy choices with Men!!!!

I do occasionally wake up in the night with figures running through my head and I do get calls from creditors but mainly they are very pleasant. I had an interesting call from MBNA and the young man asked my what I was going to do about the large amount of money I owed his company. I told him I was going to do nothing and he must wait to hear by post. In the end he went away. They can only intimidate you if you let them, if it is a real problem get your number changed!

Louise

loubie_lou

I have made lousy choices with Men!!!!

Don't we all Lou :mad:

rainbowseeker

I feel like a worn down woman of 126 or thereabouts and I'm only 36!! I'm just past the start line on the debt journey and with the amount I owe @£76k by the time I pass the end line (debt free) I might as well be 126 by then if I haven't topped myself!
Seriously though, yes there's more to life like health and mental wellbeing, I keep reminding myself, but you take it one day at a time. Some days I can even raise a smile, but it's like wearing a constant aura of shame. I can't believe I'm in this mess.
But when I'm down, I just visit you guys and share your experiences and I'm invariably cheered up and encouraged to carry on fighting the good fight.

SeriouslyStressed

I suppose my feelings and situation are common.
Everything started out fine, clearing debts each month no problem, the occasional treat early on. Then you start getting available credit increases ( feel great at the start dont they! ) . Suddenly something expensive needs to be paid for, it's a tight time, or a few things need paying in a hurry, and you're short of savings etc... so it goes on your card ( you know you'll pay it off, it'll just take a few months more with increased repayments ) then before you know it, there's something else in desperate need of attention, and this again ends up on a card.
Before you know it, the intrest is snowballing, which means your monthly spend is increasing, and you get to the point you end up paying just the minimum each month as thats all you can afford..... you cut back as much as possible.. and then BAM!!!! something happens/something breaks etc, and you have NO choice other than to put it on th ecard as you've NO CASH to pay for it. NOW you're stuck.... you'r outgoings are now MORE than your income ( even if you DID'nt buy ANYTHING each month ). and you're screwed.

This is MY situation, and it's pulling me swiftly back into depression. I cant sleep properly, I have this constant tight stomach feeling, like i've been punched; I'm tetchy and abrupt; off my food most of the time, or binge out on snacks in the middle of the night.. it's terrible, and although i KNOW i'm up to, and beyond my neck 'in it', I still struggle to comprehend just how FAST I went from being 'fine' to being out of control and KNOWING there's no way to backpeddle the situation.

I've tried buying things cheap to sell on at a profit ( and made one or two disasterous misjudgements in the process, thus getting myself deeper into debt )
Short of selling everything and anything thats not nailed down, i feel stuffed. so I think THATS how debt makes me feel.....
foolish, stupid, sick and lost. I've not 'lived it up' , infact, I've been quite reclusive ( having not had a 'night out' since I was 18 )
I would'nt wish this feeling on ANYONE.

mummytofour

Makes me feel like total pants, But I am trying to change things, for a start Im trying to get us to live within our means, this is NOT easy, I dont have anything to show for the debts we have, they have happend because, things have come up, car gets sick, i tneeds fixing, we live in a village where there is about one bus a day, the village school is crap so I take my kids to a good school, 8 miles away so thats 32 miles a day.. My dh works in london and the train fairs keep going up, he needs a car that works to get to the station, life is not cheap, I do feel bad about our debts, I wish they would go away... but they wont, I have to make them, which is hard, living within our means is the start, once we have cracked that then we will be able to cut back a little more and a little more, small steps at a time. Its not easy, but at least we are trying.

bingbong_3

I have a number of feelings about the situation I am in and writing them down on here certainly helps.

I am a bloke and I get the impression that quite a few people on here are ladies!! Unlike normal blokes ( sorry lads ) I am an open, honest and caring one.

Anyway - At the moment I feel angry ( at myself ) frustrated as my situation is going to take such a long time to sort out and pay off ( which means more of my life gone ) and I feel sorry for the wife as none of this is down to her. We haven't even got a telly - we don't smoke, drink, go out. We don't live an extravagent lifestyle at all.

Its sometimes hard to motivate myself although I realise that I am going to have to get on with it and get the debt paid off asap. My only goal this year is to pay for my wife to go away for a week. Its not fair that she should suffer as well is it?

ceegee

Trouble is, bingbong, others do get hurt, don't they? My debt was due to me helping out my ex-husband in his time of need. Can you believe that! Me, supporting him and our two daughters, when I don't exactly earn a fortune.

Tou tell your wife from me that she is one lucky lady to have such a loving husband.

PS You haven't got a brother have you.....?

bingbong_3

Yes they do get hurt - but I am lucky. I have a lovely wife who is both beautiful and brainy to boot. Sadly I do not have a brother!!

I wish I was a dog. As I write this my two mini schnauzers are both asleep - bellies full and have not got a care in the world. Dogs don't have to worry about much do they?

Am I going barking???? ( gedit! ) :doh:

Raquela

I remain calm about my debt problems generally. Mainly because there isn't another alternative; I could go to pieces, give up my degree, or I can get on with it, knowing that in a few years time I'll be able to pay off what I owe extremely quickly.

I do not allow myself to feel sorry for myself about it; I know, hand on heart, that my debt is my own fault. There were reasons, but all those reasons were down to choices I made. The only regret I have really is the TWO consolidation loans I took to sort myself out. SILLY GIRL!!! I made the mistake once, and then I made it again...

I'm finally at a point where I can't see myself ever getting into more debt (other than student loan debt, which really has to not count at the moment! especially since it doesn't need paying until I earn enough).

Mainly I'm thankful that the truth finally sank in, and even tho if I think long term about the next 2 and a bit years, it's really scary, taking one month at a time and sticking close to my budget, makes me think that somehow I'll see it through. EVEN THO I GOT TURNED DOWN FOR A JOB TODAY BECAUSE I COULDN'T DO 30 HOURS A WEEK AS A STUDENT!!