Can he get access to my kids?

loobylee

Hope there is someone out there who is able to offer some advice.

My FIL who is a complete abusive !!!!!! and who my OH has had no contact with now for 11yrs has decided he wants access to his grandchildren who are 9 and 4 and who he has never even met.

My OH wants nothing to do with him due to the abuse he suffered as a child -physical and emotional. Therefore he does not want our kids anywhere near him.

Does he have a chance in getting access rights?

sarymclary

In a word, no.

I had this with my mother, and she even went as far as getting a letter from a solicitor quoting the Children's Act as a way of getting contact with my children, who she'd not met.

A written reply from me stating in no uncertain terms the reasons why this person was unfit to have any contact with my children seemed to resolve matters, and she was clearly advised not to waste her money pursuing it.

No court would promote contact with a potential abuser, especially with children who have had no previous contact, despite any family connection. I wouldn't worry about it, and if he wants to waste his money trying to pursue it legally, let the old fool waste his cash, but I doubt any lawyer worth his salt would take it on.

loobylee

Thanks Sary

That makes me feel a little better it's just he is such a manipulative !!!!!!! and he is loaded too and has a real slimeball lawyer.

The social services were involved once with my OH but he got sent back to live with his dad and got such a kicking he never had the nerve to complain again until he was 17 - then he got kicked out!

I am just so paranoid about him coming near my kids - I know he will try and take it through the courts but it is good to know he will not have a hope in hell!

Susan_Frost

No way.

Money does not buy people everything they want.

My sister took my neice to court this year in order to have access to her two granddaughters 9 and 4. A guy interviewed the children, seperately and without their mum and stepdad/dad. He interviewed me and I told him a lot of home truths about my sister. He also interviewed someone "on my sister's side". He also had a couple of police recorded things, one none of us knew about which had happened last year.

Your husbands record with social services should still be traceable.

The guy did a report to the court, actually holding a lot of things back cos he said it could be in the future the family would become friends again and they are not there to cause friction.

The judge said that my sister could not have access.

Especially if your husband has not had contact for many years, and his dad has not any relationship with his grandchildren, and if your husband has people or legal history of past abuse - I am sure he would not have a hope in hell.

Please dont worry. If you want a legal opinion then run it by a solicitor.

Good luck.

loobylee

Thanks Susan

I am sure we will have to go to court as FIL will not back down. Would anyone have any idea of the costs as we would not get legal aid?

He wil still go through with the courts because he is loaded and he will enjoy watching us get into debt.

Susan_Frost

I am sure in my neice's case my sister had to pay the costs. I know my sister was quoted £2000 to take it to court.

Put your mind at rest by seeing a solicitor and getting an idea rather than sit and worry about it.

Sounds as though he has not actually taken any action yet, anyway. Is this just a frightener for you. How do you know he is wanting to do this?

Remember, you dont have to answer his phone calls, texts, or let him into your house or anything. Wait until he actually takes a legal step.

Also, the children will have rights to chose. My neice's children did.

mrcow

loobylee wrote: »

He wil still go through with the courts because he is loaded and he will enjoy watching us get into debt.

Look at your house insurance policy.

Do you have legal protection cover?

Suzy_M

If the grandfather is likely to hang around where the children may be -

If the children are of school age - Write a letter to the head teacher, but then see them personally, explain the situation (briefly), then hand them the letter as written confimration of the discussion.

Also speak to the leaders at any groups the children may attend.

mookiandco

If FIL decided to take the matter to court he may very likely fall at the first hurdle. Unless you are a parent to the child you willl need the courts permission to even make the application for contact. The court will only grant this where there is a genuinely motivated application for contact i.e usually in case were a grandparent has been a part of childs life and then the parents split and one will not let grandparents continue to have a relationship with child.

However, the courts general view is that children have a right to know their extended family. The court will carefully consider the circumstances of the case. If neither you nor your OH will have anything to do with FIL then it is going to be very difficult to facilitate any contact. The children would also want to know why daddy and mummy dont want to see their grandfather which would make things very uncomfortable. The question for the court is whether it is in the children's best interests. Given the history of the matter and the current relationship (or lack thereof) between all the adults involved it is unlikely the court would award him contact. It would be left for the children when they are older to make up their own mind.

In relation to court costs if the courts gives FIL permission to make an application for contact, then your legal costs could be anything between £2500 and £5000 depending on how long FIL drags it out for.

As a family solicitor, I would probably say you might want to speak to a solicitor for an initial consulation to give them all the facts so they can advise you in full. However, you do not need to have a solicitor to go to court if FIL makes an application and I think that as you have a strong case for no contact a solicitor is not entirely nescessary. No matter what sort of slimeball he has as a solicitor, its not his decision, its the courts decision and the court take any abuse very seriously.

Ada_Doom

As somebody who works in the family court I would echo the above post.Your FIL can make an application to the court to start the court proceedings for contact but it will be a very involved process and the court welfare officer will be involved right from the start to investigate any doubts you have.

You do not need to have a solicitor but i would say its in your best interest to attend any court appointmnets you are given ( i'm sure you would anyway)

The family court exists to look after the interests of children and their safety and welfare will be everyones only priority.

Loretta

Surely if the FIL is making any sort of application involving the children if there is any fear for their safety wouldn't the children be represented themselves? and have their own solicitor to protect their interests?