limbo of early separation and joint finances

Krystaltips

Ok, just because you cancel the direct debit doesn't mean the policy will lapse so if it would be prudent for you to keep them you can arrange a new payment with the company directly for the missed amount. Far better to do this than get bank charges.

As far as the mortgage goes, you will have to check whether they will pay the interest on the full amount if there is someone elses name on the mortgage and they are working. I do know that they only paid the interest on a portion of my mortgage because I had to remortgage when my ex left me up to my eyeballs in debts and they disregarded the new amount so I always had to top it up.

If they will pay and you have to wait the qualifying weeks then it might be worth speaking to your mortgage company and seeing if they can give you a payment holiday, sometimes known as a 'career break' I got 6 months off so only had to find 3 payments, was a weight of my mind!

If he is paying the mortgage instead of giving you maintanence then I'm assuming this wouldn't be counted as income so it probably wouldn't affect your IS, but again, better to get that checked...

Got2change

Sassamac wrote: »

Im really worried about the mortgage arrears that will accrue in the 9 months before IS mortgage payments kick in, and how will I ver be able to repay them. But we havent discussed whether he will pay towards the mortgage or not - I dont really know what is the done thing.

He has suggested signing the house over to me as I put up the entire deposit (36% of the house, so I have a lot to lose). Obviously if he does then I will be solely liable for the mortgage payments and arrears and wouldn't expect him to contribute. Whether the mortgage company will allow that is another matter as I gather they like to have two people to chase.

1) Don't you be worrying about what "the done thing" is; you have rights, most particularly as the person who stumped up the 36% deposit (!) and being jointly-named on the mortgage/deeds. Of course the downside is that you are jointly and severally liable for the debt and lots will depend on the mortgage outstanding, present value, income sources of both parties etc etc. Not forgetting your position as mother of your (joint) children and the fact that he sounds like a bit of a fool IMO. Anyway.....

2) It always sounds so easy - this signing over malarkey. But of course (regardless of the BS wanting to have two people to chase for the debt), there is the small matter of you now becoming reliant on benefits and maintenance as yourincome - doubt very much that you would be "allowed" to take on sole responsibility for the mortgage due to that small detail. I know that it used to be possible (rare, but possible) but I suppose times might have changed nowadays. Even so, he would then possibly want to get a charge against the property so that he can redeem his investment (in terms of the mortgage payments made) at some point in the future - which could be a real bummer with the huge fluctuations in property values - and chances are you don't want is hanging over you for years (and years and years....).

So - you have to do what's best for YOU and your kiddywinkles - I'm afraid amicable might not last long when the mighty dollar rears it's ugly head.

Caz3121

Sassamac wrote: »

ooh missed you there Caz.
Im really worried about the mortgage arrears that will accrue in the 9 months before IS mortgage payments kick in, and how will I ver be able to repay them.

Mortgage help now will now kick in after 13 weeks
http://www.dwp.gov.uk/mediacentre/pr...116-191208.asp

cte1111

I've been in a similar situation in some ways, my ex leaving his things at my home whilst he still owed me money, and I also felt like throwing them out in the garden or holding them hostage until he paid me back, but on the whole am glad that I did not. I think you're being very wise trying to keep things amicable.

Re the direct debits and not having money to pay them, think the best thing is to contact your bank and explain the situation to them. They might be able to arrange a short term overdraft until you are able to sort things out with your ex, and get some benefits coming in.

I guess you need to draw up a budget and see if you can manage to pay the mortgage. And the only way you can do that is if you have an agreement from your ex as to how much he will be contribution towards his children's support.

From experience, the CSA can be a nightmare, but then so can ex-partners be about money. I hope that you are able to come to an amicable agreement with your ex, but I would say if he starts to mess you around then go to the CSA.

Loretta

I think you will find that amicable means that he either doesn't sort anything out and doesn't pay anything or he offers a silly amount and expects you to accept his nonsense without moaning about it.

Get this sorted out quickly. Cancel any direct debits that are to do with him only, any mobile phone bill of his etc and anything that is not urgent. It is essential to pay mortgage and council tax and to eat, everything else can wait.

I would not agree to him staying in the house when he finds it convenient now he has emptied the bank account