Recently widowed; husband had debts I did not know about

MSE_Martin

Hi

Like others I am sorry for your loss. There is some very sound advice in the above posts especially from Bossyboots. I actually think there is a slight balance to be had here. You do need a probate solicitor to look through the estate, but a CAB advisor in conjunction to help with the debts is no bad thing either. If you can see them both and don't act until after that point.

I wish you the best, and I'm very proud to see MoneySavers helping each other this way, I hope you find a resolution.

Martin

robowen

Was just going to say the same Martin :doh: you beat me to it :rolleyes:

I'm often amazed at the high quality of advice given in these boards too !

I'm sorry annie ! I can only help you with a dodgy boiler or leaking tap. :rolleyes:
I wish you luck with your problem, and ask that you keep everyone updated on how its all progressing. We can all learn a lot from this.

...and if you're feeling lonely, venture into the 'arms' for chat and a giggle

rob

jen_jen_2

bossyboots is giving great advice so this is more of a what if..

if you do get probate and have to sell your husbands half which i think you said is 90K its not 90K. there is no obligation to sell your half of the house to pay the debts and half a house is not worth half of its value. if you put 50% share of the house with you living in it on the open market my guess is it wont sell for very much, effectively making it worthless.
if an estate agent values the 50% share perhaps your daughter could consider buying it or you buy it yourself (likely to be less that paying the debts in full) or leave it for sale forever.

just a thought hope i have explained what i mean clearly

desperate_annie

Thank you to everyone.
It has been very difficult for me as I do not want to tell people about my situation as so many people thought so much of my husband, he did a lot of voluntary work and we have so many friends and I do not want them to think badly of him.
May be I will tell people in time but I do not feel ready yet.

As well as the advice which I appreciate with all my heart I want to thank all the people who are giving moral support with no judgement.

I have not contacted a solicitor today yet. I am having a bad day today. I feel completely overwhelmed by everything and not at all brave as someone on the post said I was.
I cannot face a telephone conversation where I have to explain my situation again. But I know how important it is and I/we will make an appointment.

The important thing too is knowing that I should not act until then, thank-you Martin, and I still have the CAB appointment on Tuesday. A big part of me wants to sell the house so that I can pay these horrible debts off and be free of the worry but I know that I would regret it and I also know that my husband would not want that and my daughter does not want that.

briona

desperate_annie wrote:

I’ve had a look through a lot of this thread and haven’t come across anything exactly like my situation yet, and as I’m in a desperate situation decided to start my own message board despite the fact that I’ve never done anything like this before.

My husband of 40 years died at Christmas, a year after a terminal prognosis was given. Only after his death have I discovered that he was in substantial debt, through credit card statements coming in the mail and going through his paperwork.

I feel that I was terribly naïve as my husband handled all our financial affairs, and gave me a cheque every month to cover housekeeping, spends etc which I paid into my own account. However, he worked for many years as a financial manager and I assumed that everything was fine with both our joint bank account (which I did not even have a card for) and with our money situation generally.

Does anyone on this site have a more realistic alternative?
Or a definite answer as to whether the credit card companies would pursue this?
Also, would it be considered that there are extenuating circumstances, because of the brain tumour?
My husband always paid the minimum payment, so was not seen as a bad credit risk, but is there any way that I could argue irresponsible lending?

Hello Annie

I'm sorry to hear about your situation but I may have found something that can be of help.

Your case sounds almost exactly like one that was highlighted in the news last year [have included link to the Guardian's article – subsequently I think they or the Sunday Times followed it up, by which time all but two of the companies involved had agreed to cancel the debt. If I can find the relevant articles I'll post again later].

http://business.guardian.co.uk/story/0,,1472482,00.html

If I remember rightly, this woman did manage to fight a case based on irresponsible lending, hence the banks cancelling the debt, AND she also managed to retain her house.

Sorry I don't have specific details on this. Have a look at the link – see what you think and I'll see if I can pull up any more info.

Take care

Briona

briona

http://www.guardian.co.uk/weekend/story/0,,1528705,00.html

The follow up to the earlier link, which although a little long-winded [well it is written by Jon Ronson!] confirms that all the debt was eventually written off.

Barclays accepted [some] responsibility for their irresponsible lending, so if you have any debts with Barclays, approaching them using Wendy Cullen's story, might force them to write off the debt quicker.

Good luck

Briona

ozzyfan_2

dear annie

so sorry to hear of your sad loss

my thoughts & prayers are with you

take care

xx

Edinburghlass_2

desperate_annie wrote:

Thank you to everyone.
It has been very difficult for me as I do not want to tell people about my situation as so many people thought so much of my husband, he did a lot of voluntary work and we have so many friends and I do not want them to think badly of him.
May be I will tell people in time but I do not feel ready yet.

As well as the advice which I appreciate with all my heart I want to thank all the people who are giving moral support with no judgement.

I have not contacted a solicitor today yet. I am having a bad day today. I feel completely overwhelmed by everything and not at all brave as someone on the post said I was.
I cannot face a telephone conversation where I have to explain my situation again. But I know how important it is and I/we will make an appointment.

The important thing too is knowing that I should not act until then, thank-you Martin, and I still have the CAB appointment on Tuesday. A big part of me wants to sell the house so that I can pay these horrible debts off and be free of the worry but I know that I would regret it and I also know that my husband would not want that and my daughter does not want that.

Annie, please don't think that people will think badly of your husband and you mustn't either. I have no doubt from what you have said he was doing the best under the circumstances for his family and you must hold that thought.

Take one step at a time. You have your CAB appointment for Tuesday and that will be this week's step, if it goes well and you feel up to it then make an appointment with a solicitor after that. In fact CAB might be able to help you with a suitable solicitor as they tend to specialise in one area these days.

Take care of yourself and your daughter

110frankie

Annie, no-one on this list will judge your husband. Most of us are on this list because of the irresponsibility and plain greed exhibited by banks and credit card companies. It is easy for those of us who are not ill to fall into their traps.

My sincere condolences on your loss, it is a great shame that at such a time you are also faced with these problems.

Please make sure you examine all agreements for insurances. They are often there in the small print.

margaretclare

Annie, I was widowed myself in 1992 and I know full well that widowhood is one of the worst things, without being compounded by other problems (mine was compounded and made worse by redundancy). I am so, so sorry. I really cannot say much that will help. You have been given excellent practical and supportive advice already.

I'm probably one of the older moneysavers who haunt this board (I'm 70 and in my second marriage) and I'm sorry to say, I've seen so many problems over the years which were caused by the husband being in charge of all the money affairs and the wife being in blissful ignorance. Sometimes the wife had no idea where the relevant paperwork was, sometimes there was a car that she wasn't able to drive and didn't know what to do with. This really does underline the need for both marriage partners to communicate and both to know about the household financial matters.

With deep sympathy

Aunty Margaret