Pocket money (merged)

Spendless

Penny-Pincher!! wrote:

Hi

Just need some advice if possible please.

DD is starting secondary school this September and has asked for an increase in pocket money. , she has had extra HW studying for her 11+ and now her SATS.

Do you guys think £30pcm is a reasonable amount of pocket money for her?

Any help appreciated.

PP
xx

Does this mean she is 11 years old? If it is I personally find £30 a month a lot for someone her age. I also think you need to clarify exactly what she should be paying for out of this money and that she 'earns' it too by doing odd jobs round the house.

crutches

my daughter gets the odd fiver when i can and is glad of it.shes 14!
i cant afdford anymore,i buy her clothes from ebay/charity shops and the litle ones have hand me downs.
if i could give her pocket money it would be £20-£30 pcm for her wants.I would offer a price that i would pay for trainers/clothes and she could make up the difference.

Sarahsaver

I do not think a child (under 16) should be expected to buy shoes or clothing that they need, or toiletries they NEED.
I also think that kids should have to ASK for pocket money else they dont get it. That makes them think about whether they have deserved it or not. Mine are still quite young but i would not give them 20p each the other day as they did npot know where their piggy banks were. They cannot have money unless they show they are capable of managing it!

Penny-Pincher!!

Thanks for all the replies!

I think £30 is alot too TBH, but Im new to all this and would like advice as to what this should cover/not cover and if its too much etc. If it is too much-what is the right amount etc?

She keeps her room clean and tidy and occasionally empties the DW. Also looks after her Gerbils and cleans them out weekly.

I really dont want her having lists of jobs to do as she will be getting at least 1.5hrs a day of homework and need her to concentrate on this, but I dont want her on the other hand dossing around either IYSWIM.

I need a balance/compromise...can anyone help please? She will be nearly 12 when she starts in September. She is a saver and doesnt ask for much. Normally sees something she wants then saves for it.

DD is partially sighted also, so normal things will take her a little longer.

PP
xx

Rachie_B

i dont think £30 is too much per month

my 10 yr old gets £5 most weeks if hes helped out etc ,from this he buys his stickers / magazines or saves up for a toy / game etc

once hes older and starts going out with friends at the weekends etc i will prob give him more as eg cinema ticket £4.25 ,sports club £3, swimming nearly £1 a time it soon adds up ,and thats before any "wants" he might have !!!

obviously if you can only give what you can afford ,and i think this needs to be explained, also if they do a lot round n
the house / garden etc i think they should get a bit more than say a child who does nothing yet still expects money at the end of the week / month !!

Edinburghlass_2

I contemplated this a couple of years ago but as it stands my daughter gets money when she is going out and we discuss how much is needed and what its for.

She is expected to keep her own room tidy and clean out her animals but I don't pay her for that, its her room and her choice to keep animals so she feeds and cleans them.

Obviously I feed and clothe her, like aliasojo, if she wants expensive trainers she has to work for them over and above the amount of money I would be prepared to spend on them and we are often heard negotiating in Peacocks as to what I am prepared to spend and what she wants

Each to their own but to me an 11 year old with £30 is a lot of money to have instant access to each month and I know my daughter aged 11 would have it spent in day 2 of the month.

Penny-Pincher!!

What would you suggest is a reasonable amount pm? £30pcm is roughly £7pw. Should I drop to say £20-25pcm? Ive never been in this position before so am on new grounds, so all advice greatly apreciated.

PP
xx

Rachie_B

re worries about spending it all in one go ,either you say ok you can have it weekly

OR monthly BUT once its gone (be that in one weekend or whatever) its gone and no more to be had til the next month

£Ronnie

I don't know about the ages and amounts debate as my children are still little, but I think it is a good idea that teenagers learn that all money coming in is not for pleasure. For eg when i was a student paying subsidised rent and no household bills i really thought that a graduate earning 14K was loaded and how could they not afford things?. Now however reality has well and truly kicked in (the hard way) and nearly all of our income is accounted for before we do anything. :rolleyes:

It won't be long before your DD has increased peer pressure to have the latest/best/dearest of everything, and i think alisojo hit the nail on the head by mentioning need versus want. How many stories on the DFW board are by people who thought they needed a fancy car, huge tv, designer clothes etc etc. Yes we all want nice things but have to learn to discern the difference. To me this is the crux of teaching our children to budget.

She will need stationary for school, why dont you price up the cost of the stuff that you would be prepared to pay for, tell her and then it is up to her whether she has the fancy stuff or she wants to spend her money on something else. This is only one area but should help her to realise that money also NEEDS to be spent on boring mundane things. She may well surprise you and buy value stationary to save in this area. Now wouldn't that make you proud!

Re clothes, I would pay for the school uniform myself (as she has no choice in this) but have a budget for her civvies, eg 1 tracksuit, 2 jeans etc figure out your budget again and if she ain't happy with your choices of brand/shop then she contributes.

Also are there things you definetley want her to spend her money on, eg to always have phone credit just in case? animal food? birthday & Christmas presents? This needs to be made clear at the beginning.

Re earning her money, well you have mentioned that she keeps her room tidy etc, I would clearly applaud her on this and let her know it is expected to continue, if not it will jeopardise the pocket money situation.

It comes across to me that you have a great realtionship with your daughter, would you perhaps be able to sit with her and do out a budget type spreadsheet with her, my mum did this with me after I had learned the hard way and it was soooo beneficial. I know she is only 11 but it wont be long before the pigheadedness of being a teenager kicks in, and then you will seem sooooooo old fashioned and booooooring to her, she won't want to listen to a thing you have to say, (generally unless you are v. lucky):rolleyes:

I hope this helps, but feel free to disregard it all as I am only at the teething and tantrums stage of parenting, i suppose it all depends too on how mature your DD is?

Ronnie

Penny-Pincher!!

£Ronnie-Thanks for spending the time and replying with such a detailed account-its very much apreciated:D You make alot of sense in your comments and value all of them.

DD & I do have a good relationship and talk quite freely and frank with each other. She is a very sensible girl and this is why I trust her with an amount like this per month. The last 2 months she has been buying an animal magazine costing £2pw so I have just been giving her 50p and bought the subscription on my credit card for the free gifts for her. She rarely moans about money or lack of it etc. We dont have alot of money as we now live entirely on benefits as Im disabled and OH is my FT carer.

She normally goes for cheaper value items when she can anyways, but understand that when she starts secondary this will probably change with peer pressure etc. Im hoping she will dig her heels in her and rather save ger money than spend on non-essentials.

What kind of things would you say are essentials each month? I would say: mobile top ups-so she has enough for emergency calls, bits for school (stationary items), pressies????

Think maybe we will sit down later and have a good chinwag about it. Main points so far I think are:

Homework has to be done each day
Has to continue keeping her room tidy and pets looked after and cleaned
DD has to buy school stationary items
Purchase mobile credit for emergency calls/texts
Designer clothes/trainers-she can contribute towards if dearer than would normally pay
If she goes out, she has to fund herself?
She can save towards birthday/xmas pressies

Does that sound OK so far, or too harsh/leanient? Anything else?

Thanks again.

PP
xx