Pocket money (merged)

shellsuit

sock-knitter wrote: »

i need to show my twin 16 year old boys this thread, they have £90 pw to spend, and have to pay some bus fares, activities such as youth clubs, gym membership, personal trainer, phone contract etc, not sure where rest goes, and they still ask to borrow from me

£90 a week???

Each???

:eek::eek::eek:

What do they need gym memberships and personal trainers for at their age?!

£90 a week is what I was earning part time a week before I had the little man a couple of years ago!



Let me get that right...

£360 a MONTH.

EACH.

For a 16 year old??


You must be mad, or very rich! :cool:

CRH71

Blimey! £90 a week - mind you, that's between two of them.

Sounds a lot, but by the time you take out of that clothes, lunches, travel expenses it doesn't leave a lot for the young adult for themself.

I've been paying £160 a month maintenance for a long time for DD1 - initially I paid it to the mother until I realised that, actually, the child wasn't seeing any of the money, nor was she getting any of the benefit of it so I switched to paying her into her bank account directly.

I told her that I expected her to pay for her lunches, clothes, travel etc., out of that and budget accordingly - if she ran out of money and got a fine on public transport for not having a ticket then I wouldn't be paying it, either - she would.

I did this a couple of years ago now, and it's really taught her some valuable budgeting skills - not once has she come to me and complained that she's run out of money - instead, she's gone round finding some work (washing cars, helping out at Grandad's, that kind of thing) to earn any extra she wanted or needed.

LadyMorticia

Sock Knitter - Am I right in thinking that both your boys receive DLA?

That might be where the £90 a week is coming from.

property.advert

At 13 we were down the pub with a load more than pocket money, we were working.

onlyroz

How much you give depends on what she's expected to buy with it. From the age of 16 I was given the full child benefit (around £10 a week back then) but I was expected to buy all my clothes from that. At 13, is she responsible enough to be able to choose her clothes sensibly?

sock-knitter

LadyMorticia wrote: »

Sock Knitter - Am I right in thinking that both your boys receive DLA?

That might be where the £90 a week is coming from.

yep, thats correct, at age 16 it is paid to them,. to spend as they wish. in fairness, the gym membership gives them somewhere to go and keeps them off the streets, and the personal trainer shows them how to use the machines and weights safely , both lads have ADHD, and aspergers. better off at the gym than drinking or taking drugs out on the streets where nobody is watching them and ensuring they are safe

shellsuit

sock-knitter wrote: »

yep, thats correct, at age 16 it is paid to them,. to spend as they wish. in fairness, the gym membership gives them somewhere to go and keeps them off the streets, and the personal trainer shows them how to use the machines and weights safely , both lads have ADHD, and aspergers. better off at the gym than drinking or taking drugs out on the streets where nobody is watching them and ensuring they are safe

My 15 yo son doesn't hang around the streets and doesn't drink or take drugs and he doesn't go to a gym or have a personal trainer.

*baffled*

rachbc

when i was sixteen I didn't have a personal trainer and wasn't hanging....oh....erm, err.....hurrys off to find a personal trainer for ds.....

GlasweJen

That is ridiculous and a waste of DLA, different if the trainer was specifically working on a physical problem with them but you don't need a personal trainer to show you how to lift weights, you got shown by one of the gym staff and then pick up hints and tips as you go.

The DLA is supposed to be for their care/mobility needs, shouldn't you be teaching them now how to utilise services for the disabled and use their DLA to pay for that rather than teaching them that it's ok to fritter it away because bank of mum will pick up the tab anyway?

sock-knitter

dla, is supposed for care needs, but as they are at home the majority of the time, i do the caring.

as for the gym membership, it gives them something to do, that they enjoy, and the personal trainer is keeping an eye on them,(keeping them safe from harm)

ADHD kids need showing things several times for things to sink in, and often need reminding, both kids are at special schools, so there is more staff to remind them what to do.

as they are at special schools out of the area, they have no friends close by, local teens make fun of them cos they go to special schools, they know as they are picked up by bus from home.

it has increased there confidence, and as a result are happier young people.

there are no rules what dla can be spent on, its used for something to make the disabled persons life better, and going to the gym, helps the boys, otherwise they would be isolated when out of school