Pocket money (merged)

doelani

Thanks for replies

newlywed wrote: »

The step kids mum pays them for making cups of tea, loading the dishwasher, or putting their laundry in the basket. In addition to the money she pays them she also buys their phone top ups, numerous dvd's games etc.

When they are at ours, we expect them to help lay the table, bring cups back to kitchen etc (really not very much), but they moan every time - probably because their mum would pay them to do it.

it can be hard with stepfamilies can't it ? different rules in different houses lol

carolinosourus wrote: »

Also, even if I "had money" if I was offered the chance to get more, I'd have jumped at it!

yes me too, keep it for next time lol

WolfSong2000

My parents gave me £15 a week when I was younger, but that was because I worked all the hours God sent (out of school) at a livery yard (including christmas day). The reason I got it direct from them and not from my boss was apparently because I didn't have a bank account, so she just had a standing DD that paid £15 p/w into my parents...found out after I quit this never happened, but my parents still paid me the £15 my boss had promised, bless them.

Even nowadays (22) I'm vary wary about my parents giving me money for no reason...it's usually a guilt thing, because my younger sister (21 next year) will insist my father goes shopping with her so he can buy her stuff and they want to keep things "equal". I'm the total opposite, and her attitude irks me.

But yeah...sister didn't get a job until she was 16 (I worked from age of 11/12 at various livery yards), so asked for money from parents, but ironically earns more than me nowadays and *still* asks for money.

I think if a kid's going out, say to cinema with friend, then maybe give them some money, or if they have, as others said, washed the car, etc, but to give them money for nothing or for small household chores just seems stupid to me.

I worked my backside off as a kid for the money I earned, but my sister's income has come from modelling and working as a receptionist.

I can't in all honestly say I completely disagree that parents should help kids out, as I did get upset when my mother told me that she'd persuaded my father to ammend his will, so if he died first all the money would go to my mother and my sister and I were to be cut out of the will entirely. Her excuse being she never had money from her parents to help her out...times are different now, however, but on the same point too many kids think they deserve money for doing absolutely nothing...I guess this makes me a hypocrite . Maybe I'll work it out in my own head one of these days...

newcook

Do you or OH get on with ex? If you do could one of you have a chat and say 'we really want the kids to start earning money and hope you will work with us' (obviously try and sell the idea better than that!!!) if I was her I wouldn’t mind the extra help at home - if they can do it at one house they can do it in another!!

Kids that age need to earn the money they are given - I used to do the washing and drying up every evening, tidy my room, water the plants, vaccuum etc if I needed more money for xmas presents or birthdays or days out in school hols I used to jump on the bus to the supermarket and do the shopping!!

At weekends I would go to my dads and again had to earn any money!! Walk the dogs, wash the car, feed the dogs and wash and dry up!!

oystercatcher

I had a phase of paying my boys for doing chores but it became the situation where they would then only help me if I paid them which was a very grabbing and grasping way to live.
My eldest actually said "I think we should help you because we love you" !! I think he was so right...so now, just as I give them unconditional love I also give them unconditional pocket money....

However they do help me round the house. They empty the dishwasher, lay the table, do their own laundry and beds. They are expected to help me when asked as long as they are not busy just as I help them when asked as long as I am not too busy. I respect that homework can't just be dropped in an instant just as they know sometimes I can't always give them lifts to places. In fact now the two oldest have their own cars and I have been ill so they have actually had to give me lifts to the hospital, shops etc.

I think it's important that children learn that money is earned but my view is that it's best earned from out of the family. Family should be there to support and respect each other. This doesn't mean giving them endless money at all. They have always had a set amount of weekly and then monthly pocket money and learned to budget from that without extras.

Why shouldn't a child refuse to clean the car for extra money if he doesn't need the money. Most of us wouldn't chose to go into work on our days off unless we were desperate for more income. However if you'd asked him to clean the car because you needed the help because you were busy or unwell then maybe he would have done so ???

Bethankim

I have a 15 year old, and have a half and half approach with him. I have agreed with his dad about pocket money too.

He has a basic £10 a month which is his no matter what. and can earn another £10 on top. His dad does the same thing with him.

the allowance is split between rules and jobs. (had a very tough time with him since christmas after he got himself into a very bad place - trips to A&E were regular along with non attendance at school, thank fully he is coming out the other side)

his jobs are:

washing up after dinner 3 times a week
hanging out the washing
sweeping and mopping the hall, kitchen and bathroom
keeping his room tidy
getting home on time
not going awol
attending school and not bunking off

he will do other tings too not related to pocket money, making drinks, cooking 1 meal a week, putting shopping away etc

he had started smoking :mad: and i knew most if not all was going on tobacco - after endless discussions about my unhappiness about it - but given all his other problems ive just kept the lines of communication open. 2 weeks ago he gave up :j and this weekend he was so pleased to be able to afford to go to the cinema with his friends which believe me is huge for him.

he has also stared saving his loose change which is good along with £5 a month

so my belief is yes they need to earn money either in or out of the home, and understand money donest grow in trees - he knows exactly how much money we have and what it goes on.

we have a duty to teach our kids how to budget, understand the emaning of money and how to budget..if we dont we are letting them out in the world with no clue.

Valli

a bit of an update

although the bank account card hasn't come through yet I have started IYSWIM - cash has been handed over.

DS wanted some heat protector gel (he has curly hair but uses straighteners:rolleyes:) and some deodorant.

We looked at the gels and they ranged from 99p - £3.99 in Bodycare. He picked up the £3.99 one. I reminded him he was paying.
Result! He chose the 99p one and also 99p Right Guard instead of Lynx!

He is out carwashing right now; they have bought 99p buckets from focus and 5l of their car wash liquid...

Christmas gifts have been ordered from the Avon brochure - there's a sale...

Frith

This thread is an eye opener.

I got £1 a week pocket money (from my grandparents) until I went to Uni at 18. Never had any money from my parents.

They bought me food. They bought me clothes until I was about 11. That was it.

I did a fair amount of part time work to buy books, go out once in a while. My sister is much more interested in socialising and clothes and always had at least 3 part time jobs on the go. On weekends, she cycled a 20 mile round trip to work 12 hours at a fruit farm. When she came home, she did another 6 hours in a local pub as a waitress.

It certainly had a detrimental effect on our social life and they way we could dress (although I don't think we realised how much at the time). My sister says her education was affected as she held down so many jobs whilst doing her A levels.

LJM

my girls are 8 and 5 they each get £2 a week for that they have to earn it by doing jobs such as cleaning out their hamsters,setting dinner table,loading washing machine,weeding in the garden basically any little job i know they can do.they also do not spend it they save which is great

Valli

DS and his friend have been out carwashing today. They made £65 but had to pay for their new buckets and car wash stuff . So they each made a nett profit of £30. DS has ordered some stuff from Avon (there's a sale) for xmas gifts and HAS GIVEN ME THE MONEY already. Order only went in today! At least he is prioritising and without prompting, too! Mind you he is between girlfriends so has more time LOL
Clearly he has been taken over by some kind of alien :rotfl:

Well done LJM starting them off on the right foot I think there...
Acey - that's the thing - I do want DS (and DD) to concentrate on their studies as they will need qualifications to get proper jobs...I think it's a fine balance and working does, IMHO, give people a bit more understanding of how hard it is to earn a decent sum...and a reluctance, I would hope, to fritter it away!

mummy2mygirls

Hello all just want to ask your opinion on Pocket money. Me and DH have very different veiws on this. I think it is good to get my dds used to the fact money doesnt grow on trees etc from early age.
My DD1 is now 6 and i think she should be getting some pocket money but i couldnt give her some without gicing my dd2 who is 3 somethings as she will feel like she is missing out. Dh thinks she is far to young and so we shouldnt give any to either of them!! I just wanted to give £1 to the 6yr old (which would be for tuck at a group she goes to and then the rest for sweets or to save in her money pot) And dd2 50p a week (just for sweets or to save in her money pot) so its not lots of money just a little for 'them'...
Do you give your little ones Pocket money?? What age did you start and how much??
Thanks