Pocket money (merged)

silvercar

My son went to a grammer school and the head kept telling parents that the sixth formers should not be working during term time as they should be studying.

If some of her friends are getting EMA and she is not, I think it unfair that you don't give her some pocket money.

Just my opinion, clearly a different view to a lot of people on here.

patchwork_cat wrote:

The more competitive courses look for things like saturday jobs and voluntary work to tip the balance. If the course grades are 3 A's and they are still over subscribed they have to look somewhere else for whom to offer to.

But what happens if the pressure of earning means you don't get 3 A's?

RandomDan

Consider me another spanner in the works A long time ago now (before mobiles were common) I was forced to get a part time job during A-Levels and I HATED it; my grades suffered too because I was so miserable. You are only a teenager once and (even more so now with the benefit of hindsight) it was such a waste sitting at a till in a supermarket when there 101 things I would rather be doing.

The value of money can be taught by rationing the supply or making her earn it in other ways (chores, good grades). If she keeps her room tidy, studies hard, is polite and considerate, plus does voluntary work then it sounds like you have a good kid, so let her enjoy her teenage years. If she wants extra money to do her own stuff then leave it up to her to earn it; don't force her; similarly, don't be a bank.

Saying this; I agree that pay as you go or capping the is the way to go on the phone.

Marcheline

If earning money is having a detrimental effect on the child's learning, I think it will be very clear to the parents, as no doubt the child will be staying up later to complete work/study and acting more stressed. This then would clearly not be in the best interests of the child and so, it would be sensible for the parents to support the child financially if possible, if their grades/future career are at stake. However, some children would try to pull the wool over their parents eyes over the amount of schoolwork they have in an attempt to get out of working!

It is very good that your daughter is so active in the voluntary sector and this will no doubt improve her personal statement on her UCAS form, but I still do think that you will do her no favours if she does not even attempt to have a part time job...maybe get her to trial working and see how it impacts on her other committments?

patchwork_cat

Silvercar hence my

My son is looking at law or medicine so we are talking 3 A's which is going to mean him pulling his finger out, as a result I will be happy to fund his A levels without a job, but as I say he may need to show an independent nature to be accepted

That is the quandary, if the part time job, which I also said needs to be a max of 4/6 hrs a week, means that he can't get the 3 A's then that would be the thing to go, but as I say the top uni's are looking for that.

Oldernotwiser

arthur_dent wrote: »

I would have thought that a £10 a week on top of phone credit would be fair

Bloody hell!

Bebsie

silvercar wrote: »

My son went to a grammer school and the head kept telling parents that the sixth formers should not be working during term time as they should be studying.

If some of her friends are getting EMA and she is not, I think it unfair that you don't give her some pocket money.

Just my opinion, clearly a different view to a lot of people on here.



But what happens if the pressure of earning means you don't get 3 A's?

I said I have always given her pocket money but I alway ended up giving her more. I thoght a par time job of 3 hours or so a week would be good, But I understand the fact that she should be studying etc. The pocket money never seems to be enough! I cannot afford to give her alot.:o

markyb33

I have been through this one with my 16 year old, who despite getting EMA blatantly says everyone elses parent give them more money on top.
I was clear that if he wanted more money he could get a part time job. Of course i had the tantrums and tears over having no money but eventually he got a job. He has just started going over his contract minutes on his phone and ran up a bill of £45. I reminded him that i had said that if he didn't stick to his minutes and unlimited texts then he would be back on payg. If he doesn't stick to them this month he is clear I'm cutting him off !

Bebsie

Oh dear, I am really confused, a lot of different opinions. Thanks all for your comments, I think I am going to have to sit down and have a long hard think about things. As I said my daughter gets good grades and works hard BUT also spends a lot of time on the computer wasting time - she could use three hours a week of that time to earn a bit of money, I don't think that is asking or expecting a lot. I think it is a good way of meeting new young people and learning social skills, which I feel texting and computers is taking away from our children! As I said she does voluntry work, is and explorer and working towards her DOE, a little 3 hour job a week would not do any harm. If I noticed it was effecting her school work I would most certainly encourage her to give it up.

Surfbabe

Have PM'd you Bebsie

Silaqui

Hi Bebsie,
a couple of opinions from me - I am 24 and have worked at least 1 part time job all the way through my studies (I am now a teacher). I had my first mobile at the age of 15 which was topped up by my parents (can't remember how much but once it was gone, it was gone. When I turned 16 I was given an allowance on £30 per month which was topped up by my own wages - and that was IT. A couple of times my mum had to bail me out for bus fare to get to work - it was taken out of my allowance for the next month!

No matter what you decide to give her, I would agree with others and definitely give her the responsibility of organising it.

In regards to getting a part time job whilst studying - I am a teacher and have also been a 6th form pastoral tutor for the past 3 years, this year mine are y12 (same age as your daughter, I assume). Almost all of them have part time jobs and yes - occasionally it does affect their studies. I have had problems with students skiving off lessons so that they could go to work for an early shift, and things like that which is ABSOLUTELY not allowed... but most of the ones with their heads screwed on (like your daughter seems to have) cope really well with a part time job and it does give them a real perspective on how these things work. It also lets them mix with lots of different people, and I know your daughter gets this from her volountary work too but occasionally it does do people good to realise how other people live. One of my best friends to this day is a 40 odd year old woman who I met back when I was a waitress - I was in it for spending money - she was in it to make ends meet as a single mum of 4 kids whose husband walked out. Not the type of person likely to be able to do volountary work. I'd imagine, though, that it would be very difficult to find a pt job that only asks for 3/4 hours. Most seem to be around 8 - 16 hours.

I've rambled, as always, but ultimately the choice is up to you - your daughter sounds like a great girl and I wish her (and you!) loads of luck.
xx