Help Hawthorn get a better house!

Hawthorn

Ok guys, time for me to take a further step.

There are six of us, plus one dog.

We have a teeny tiny, three bedroomed house, which is cheaply rented (housing association)
We were grateful for it at the time, but it's time to move on now - my husband has a good job, the kids are growing fast (with two teenage boys :eek: ) and frankly, it's doing my head in. Everyone is on top of each other, the older boys share a box room, and in our bedroom the bed is pushed into one corner because the room is too small to allow any movement if we don't do this. The kitchen.....ah, don't even go there. Lets just say it's a struggle to cook for six in there :rotfl:
Our food budget is £200-£250 a month, which I don't think is bad for the six of us....that covers all meals, lunches included too.
We have the chance of a larger house. Four large bedrooms, and a Biiig old kitchen (bliss). Private rented, but £250 more a month than our current rent.
As we have debts to pay off, this is going to be VERY tight
It won't always be so.....debts reduce over time, in less than a year my husbands wages will increase, I can always get a part time job that fits around the kids schooling, somehow (even if it's delivering papers :rotfl: )

So, what else can I do. I'm going to research even more frugal food shopping. I use expensive wash powder/softener (ASDA own softener). I am already using stardrops and home made cleaners.
Our fuel bills....yeah, they could do with cutting down, so I'm going to look at changing. I've considered a remoska grande, but are they big enough for six? Three of those hungry teens/husband?
We can't drop the mobiles yet as they are contracted until around this time next year.
Our internet is at the lowest available for us at the moment. I could get rid, but to be honest I use it so much for hunting down bargains, that it would probably cost me more NOT to have it :rotfl:
We don't have sky, or anything like that.
Does anyone manage to feed a family of six on less than that? - I should add that that also includes online delivery, since ASDA stopped doing codes *grumbles*
If I can do a shop once every fortnight, or month instead of weekly, that would cut some of the cost out......hmmm.
The house we are looking at is fully double glazed, so should be warm enough. Also, gas central heating.
I would LOVE to come to some arrangement with certain debtors (namely one CC) but to do so I think would blacklist us, and in my husbands job, this isn't allowed.
We will be getting a small car soon, for husbands work travel, hopefully low insurance/tax/fuel. Just waiting on insurance money.
So, what do you think folks? Can we do this?
This house is driving me insane. This is an excellent rental price for a four bedroomed house. It will relieve the pressure on us SO much, as we won't constantly be on top of each other. The kids will have their own space, The living room won't be a 'through' living room, but seperate, off a hallway, so could become a sanctuary. It has a dining room too, as well as a large kitchen/diner so in theory this could become a games/homework room for the family.
It is going to be tough for a while, but with your help maybe I could cut down on groceries even further. I do have a very good stockcupboard *cough*shed*cough*

Any things I might have missed? I'm sorry if this all seems a bit dumb for me to be asking you. I've not long been out of hospital with mental health problems, and my head is fair spinning on my shoulders. My husband, as much as I love him is not budget minded, that is my job :rotfl:

mouseymousey99

Hi Hawthorn, nope its his job too, you don't have to take care of everything! Sounds like you are doing so well already, and certainly have your hands full..I'm sure you will find loads of help on the board. The only thing I that comes to mind is would you have a garden in the new home? You can save loads growing salad things (even in grow bags) but that would have to wait until spring...in the meantime all best wishes, Mxx

Hawthorn

He's good. He pays what I ask him to, when I ask him to, and doesn't argue with me if I say no you can't spend that . Perfick.
I don't know about the garden - it has a garden, but whether they'd be happy with us digging it up for veg, I don't know. That's something I'll have to ask, I think.
Failing that, there's always grobags, and many things you can grow in tubs etc, so we'll have to see.
Also, just round the corner from a major market! Yay, cheap clothes and fruit and veg *g*

ceridwen

Hmmmm.....well I can certainly understand why things would feel more than a little cramped with 6 people in a 3 bedroomed house - whew! That number of people means a house really needs to be 5 bedrooms/2 bathrooms and a large kitchen. So - CRAMPED CITY! I can see that.

The thing that strikes me though is that the private rented house you mention IS that dearer rent each month - so, though it might well be a bargain price, it will still mean a large extra chunk of money coming out for rent each month. Thats point 1 - and I would be wary of committing to that extra rent at any point and even without debt. But in current economic climate and with debt - no chance whatsoever I would even contemplate it.

The second point is that your current home is public sector and the place you are looking at is private sector. You have security where you are living right now - but you wouldnt in the private sector. Be as good a tenant as you please in the private sector - and you could still be given notice. As I understand it - in the public sector there is no chance you will be given notice as long as you are a good tenant. I have been a public sector tenant before now - many years ago now - and I knew I had absolute total security as long as I was a good tenant. In fact - I think back at that time the security was so absolute that I would still have had that security even if I had been a bad tenant. Thankfully - I believe even the public sector now accepts that someone has no right to security if they are a bad tenant - which is only fair. But I believe the position still is that good tenants have nothing to fear and are rocksolid secure - and that is worth hanging onto. Security of tenure in one's home is not an asset to be belittled - its WELL worth having.

So - my personal view is that its worth gritting your teeth for the next few years about the overcrowding and staying put where you are - even if we didnt have the current economic climate going on! Your teenage children will grow up and then there will be enough space - so why move? This is only temporary hardship - it will pass.

I know myself that decades ago I was in an analogous situation. I was about to move out from my parental home and live on my own. I obviously needed a one bedroom flat - there was no way whatsoever I could even think of paying the rent on a private sector flat and - equally - no way whatsoever that the Council would even contemplate housing a childless person such as myself. So - I had to grit my teeth and put up with inadequate housing for 6 long years - and they were L....O....N......G.........very very L....O....N.....G...having to try to manage to lead a normal life as best I could in grotty bedsits. I hated it. I was thoroughly ashamed of them...I couldnt understand why the heck I had to put up with such obviously inadequate accommodation that it wasnt remotely possible to lead a halfway normal life in (though I struggled to do the best I could to do so).....oooooh....total shudders at the memory.......but eventually I managed to "escape" to a normal lifestyle. So - I do understand how frustrating it can be to try to live in totally inadequate accommodation.....but the sheer process of time passing will put an end to your inadequate accommodation situation (with the children growing up and moving out)....so I really do think its best to "just hang in there" in your position.


(ceridwen goes off shuddering at the thought of having done things like having several people round for a dinnerparty at a time in one grotty bedsit and having put a friend up for a couple of weeks in a positively tiny grotty bedsit......ugh! The cold/the damp/sharing bathrooms with strangers/totally inadequate security.........:eek: ...I'll just go and find that bottle of wine I'm working my way through even thinking back to those days......ugh!!!!) - so I do know where you are coming from - but still strongly advise you to stay put.

(I see you are more security-minded than many - as I've just taken a peek at your homepage - a peak oil preparation forum.....so I reckon I would now say my above advice applies x 10). Now is NOT the time to give up whatever security one has.

MUMOF4_2

HI,
It sounds like you are doing an excellent job with the grocery shopping for the 6 of you. There are 6 of us and we manage to keep to £200-£250 per month. I can do it cheaper if i do an online shop to last a fortnight, make a meal plan for the first week, then cook up double for each meal and freeze half for the following week. It does mean that what you eat this week, you will also eat next week, but i found i managed to get my shopping to £73 for the fortnight.
We also have a small house which feels pretty cramped at times, fortunately we managed to convert the loft so our older boys have there own room up in the roof,so we now have 1 double, 1 small room, 1 box room and a attic room.
I would love a bigger house, the thought of 5 bedroom and 2 bathrooms, well is a dream quite frankly! and do you know what. i look at the children everyday getting bigger and bigger, counting down the few years left they have at home, and i think to myself how quiet and lonely our house will become when they have gone.
If you can afford to pay the extra £250 a month on having a bigger house then you go for it, but think really hard will it make you that much happier having one extra bedroom? I dont know if your kids are the same as mine, but they spend very little time in their room. How about using the money you save on the new house, on quality time with you family instead?or a nice family holiday. No one knows what is around the corner in our current financial situation here, myself I would be reluctant to jump into any extra financial outlay.
I wish you the best what ever decision you make, and hope that you and your family have a fantastic christmas!!!!

Hawthorn

Ack. I know what you are saying. I've thought about this a lot. £250 - well, how much faster would our debts be paid off? How much interest would we save?
I also know that My hub and I are knocking on, and on our second marriage each. If we don't get some cash behind us now, we will never own our own homes again. Renting this place, well yes, it would jeopardise that.
We are just SO struggling at the moment. Everyone is at each others throats with no room. It's so cramped.

*sighs* Seems I have some serious thinking to do.

I feel a little ungrateful also - I got this house because I needed it (homeless due to Domestic violence) . Now, my husband has a good job. I feel like we are taking a house that some other homeless mum who had perhaps been in the same situation could really use, you know.

My head is all over the place. I don't know what to do for the best. Maybe I should wait until I DO know what to do for the best huh?

Ceridwen - very valid point over the security. Very. I don't want to have to move on again in a year. I just want to find a home and hole up in it LOL.

ceridwen

Yep - I do think there are times that the maxim "If in doubt - do nowt" makes a lot of sense. You dont want to jump from the frying pan to the fire.

I see Mumof4's point obviously - that you will miss your children when they are "grown and flown" - this is not to denigrate that point in any way. But - as she says - "how much happier will one bedroom make you?". Answer obviously "not a lot".

I can see why everyone would be at each others throats...it IS very tempting to move to a bigger place and just think "somehow...the money will be provided...it will be okay" - but I dont think thats a wise way to think. I was just pondering - whilst chopping up food for dinner - what I would have thought if I had realised it was going to be as long as 6 years that I would be stuck in inadequate housing (ie that 6 years in bedsits). It would have been VERY VERY depressing indeed to say the least. I do recall that there were times when I was just tempted to say "sod it - I'll marry the next boyfriend that will have me...that will solve my housing problems...two of us..no problem...we'll go and buy a house instantly" and that is what would have happened....but I bet I'd be divorced by now if I'd done that:eek: I'm so glad I just kept holding on in there and hoping and holding on in there and hoping. I managed to get a proper home for myself in the end.

A friend of mine said to me recently that when she got frustrated with her housing situation (basically overcrowding in a word) that she just took herself off for a long walk to calm down. She has coped with it that way - and it will soon be resolved thankfully - so she wont need to keep up those long walks...but it might be a little tiny thought as to how to cope.

mardatha

I would agree with the above two posters. Security of tenure is worth a £million a week. My daughter often took private lets in the past but after one bad experience she now stays put in a small cramped HA house. (landlady who swore blind the house was for indefinite rent, broke up with her husband and wanted her house back) . Teenage kids are never in anyway. Please please take your time before committing to this house !!

Hawthorn

Ok folks, just discussed with my husband. I'm disappointed...we aren't going to go for it....but not as disappointed if the landlord decides he wants his house back to sell it or whatever and we find ourselves homeless.
Instead, we'll work ourselves out of debt, pour everything we have into it, and then save for a deposit hopefully to buy.
Moneysaving ideas still very welcome on this thread - even if it can save us a tenner a month, it all goes to slay the visa dragon eh?

Thank you for the sound advice. It might not be what I wanted to hear (lol) but most definately what I needed to hear

Ceridwen, the forum isn't just about peak oil, but all kinds of preparation. If it's your thing, you should definately check it out. It's a good site.

Maybe I'll get that cabin in the woods later in life eh

ceridwen

You've made the right decision Hawthorn - I'm quite sure of that.

"Preparation" - its my middle name......but I guess that was one of the things I DID learn from my parents - mainly my father. My parents are very different to me in a lot of ways - but my father did do his best to instill in me the need to be "prepared" for whatever life might throw at me. I learnt that lesson pretty well I think:cool: I know he has tried to get me to realise that Society is not some static fixture that stays the same or keeps getting infinitely better - it can (and - as we know - has changed).

Hawthorn

My parents think I'm nuts and paranoid LOL. They say I worry too much.
I say, it only takes Hub to get laid off, and benefits to take a while (or be scrapped altogether), and we are without food if we haven't thought ahead. Bills can wait......feeding the kids can't