Drowning In Debt, Just Want Some Reassurance

angelstar25

You are not alone, Its a big thing in itself facing up to the fact that you have a problem, I admitted to myself on January 1st, best way to start the new year I thought, I rang payplan and they gave me my options, I suggest you ring them too, explain your circumstances see what they say, they are there to help you. I think you have to think about now and whats going to help you get out of this mess, it is hard, and you've done the right thing by telling mse, the support that you get off people and help is great. One of the things I would advise you to do is to tell your hubby as I think in time he will find out, If you say its the end of your marriage then what kind of husband is he if he doesn't support his wife at times like this, he will prob go mad, but in time I'm sure he will understand, and if he doesn't he ain't worth it, and one thing is for sure you can talk about any of your problems in here.

GettingThere_2

Hi pixie1 :hello:

Just wanted to send you some hugs!

:grouphug:

superscotsman

albertross wrote:

If you aren't maxed out on your credit cards, pay off the ones with the highest interest rate, and use the ones with the cheapest interest rate to subsidise the others

Yeah. that's the only way. Work out who charges the highest intrest rates and pay them off first. It's unspectacular but you'll get out of debt eventually. Get the scissors out and cut up all your cards. You don't need them - except to open an account on ebay.

A surprising amount of millionaires get their threads in charity shops.

As someone else says. go through the attic and that, and start selling the stuff at boot sales and on ebay.

GettingThere_2

Hi Pixie :hello:

This is not a solution by any means, but may give you a bit of breathing space - I'm sure others will totally disagree with the principle of it.

If you are paying so much to credit cards (300 BoS, 145 Halifax, 97 mbna, etc), is there any way you can use the funds then available on the cards each month to pay some of your other cards/bills? e.g. Once your 300 to BoS has credited, can you do a balance transfer/cc cheque to egg? Or pay the water bill with BoS card?

This does not help you clear the debt by any means, it just moves much of it around - but it helped me for a short while to keep my head above water when I was massively overspending every month. There was more cash left each month to buy food instead of everything going on debts.

All the best in getting things sorted.

ceegee

albertross wrote:

Pixie,

You are going to have to tell your husband at some point, but it may be better if you start to address the issue yourself first. If you have shown that you have taken some steps to sort out the mess, over a period of a few months, your husband may be more understanding when you finally tell him.

Couldn't agree more. To just tell him about the problem would be scary for both of you. But to say "here's the problem and here's the plan to sort it out" is something totally different and altogether a lot less scary!

All the best.

ceegee

No1Alicat

Hi Pixie
I really feel for you. I hope you get it sorted.
I just wanted to say two things. I agree with so many of the other posters. Talk to your husband. If he is worth fighting for, he'll support you. And believe me, it'll feel so much better to have someone else on your side helping.
The second thing, and I really hope you don't mind me saying this - is do you think you would benefit from seeing your GP and maybe considering going on anti-depressants? I know you are very worried about the situation, but I can't help but feel there might be something a little more - which can also help to explain the comfort spending.
Take care, and good luck. You CAN get the sorted out you know!
Let us know how you are getting on.
Alison
xx

No1Alicat

albertross wrote:

An addiction to anti-depressants is the last thing she needs..

Drugs aren't the answer, it's down to admitting she has got a spending problem (which she has done), and then having the willpower to address the problem and see it through.

Anti-depressants aren't addictive - and I speak both as a registered mental health nurse and as someone who suffered from depression myself.
I just know (again from both personal and professional experience) that sometimes things can seem totally overwhelming, and they do take the edge off things, even if they don't take the 'problem' away.

superscotsman

I have to agree with Abertross. I have had several friends who went on tranx over some bagatelle or other. Over the years I saw them get gradually worse until they finished up as card-carrying schizos. They are now my ex-friends: they will no longer contact me because they think I am plotting against them in some way.
With respect, this lady has begun this thread for financial not medical advice. There is only one way out of financial difficulty, and it is good old-fashioned up-by-yer-bootstraps puritanism. You cut spending. You stop borrowing money, and gradually you methodically pay off what you owe to other people. It takes a character change: you need to stand up to kids demanding this and that. You've got to give pressies you bought in Poundland. You've got to eat pease pudding instead of pate de foie gras. And you need patience - one of the finest of human attributes. When you do finally come out the other end, you will be a better person for it.
By not going on tranx you will save on the prescription charges, too.

Conor_3

superscotsman wrote:

There is only one way out of financial difficulty, and it is good old-fashioned up-by-yer-bootstraps puritanism. You cut spending. You stop borrowing money, and gradually you methodically pay off what you owe to other people. It takes a character change: you need to stand up to kids demanding this and that. You've got to give pressies you bought in Poundland. You've got to eat pease pudding instead of pate de foie gras. And you need patience -

This should be put in big red capitals on the front page of this forum.

Little_Miss_Winner

Well said superscotsman.