sillylittlejill's DFW Diary...

sillylittlejill

Well we went over to parents last night but chickened out of asking if we could move back. Mum said "if you need to come back you can" but I just said ok!

I am going to ring her after work tonight and tell her then if she's angry I can hang up!!

Cancelled my jobseekers allowance appt today. I have decided that I am not going to need it as I am going to find a job!

Typing up a new CV today and handing it round anywhere thats got a vacancy in the window.

Thinking of seeing if we can borrow about £2500 from my auntie who has a bit of money at the moment. If we did that then I could pay off the credit card and NatWest then the spare could go towards OH's credit card although he is paying around £100 a month towards that and as the balance is around £700 now, should be gone soon enough.

How do I go around asking my auntie for the money? Is it a good idea?

hoping to get some advice from you brill guys

xxx

sillylittlejill

Morning people
Not sure whether to ask Auntie or not about the money. She would expect a lot back from us i.e. spending a lot of free time looking after her etc etc and she's quite good with emotional blackmail.

Mother rang me last night and asked her about moving back. She's fine with it as long as we make some rules as last time was pretty rough on me and her.

What we need to do now is decide how much we are going to save up after paying off debts. I have had a quick doodle on my paper and I'm thinking around £5000 but not sure. Will have to work out how much OH gets taken off him through tax etc.

Today I will:

-Do washing up
-Make a list of what we need to keep when we move back
-Decide what we are doing with the rest e.g. eBay, sell to family, freecycle etc
-Decide what we are having for tea (quick jump over to OS board for that methinks!)
-Check websites for any possible jobs
-General tidy up living room


What do you think is a good amount to start off with? We are wanting a new sofa, kitten and all kitten related doodaa's, new bed, wardrobe, drawers etc.

hope everyone is having a nice (albeit pretty chilly!) day

xxx

sillylittlejill

Okay, so this weekend has been strange.

I have blisters on both feet due to trying to look nice for OH who was in a bad mood so wore heels and a skirt whilst looking round the town for a sofa bed.

Me and OH have been looking for a good sofa bed and finally found one. Only problem is it costs £500.
The security deposit we put down on our flat was only £230 and we thought it was £430 so thats put the amount we can put towards it down a bit.
Trying to sell our furniture off but a lot of the stuff we need.
Apparently homebase and argos don't do discount vouchers which is really helpful as they are the only 2 places that do the sofa bed. Only person we can ask is my auntie. Having a bad day, not fair. OH is putting the debts ahead of somewhere for us to sleep and I'm feeling very unloved right now just want to cry all the time.


xxx

sillylittlejill

Hello.
My diary isn't proving too popular but I really could use some advice. No-one seems to want to help me
I know that I'm not in much debt but its a lot to me and I don't know what I'm doing. My barclaycard debt has been passed over to Mercers who have sent me a text message after I asked barclaycard to remove my number off their system 3 times!

Waiting for letters back but would really appreciate knowing that someone on here is able to help me through all of this?

xxx

Arne_2

I am sorry but I dont have much advice that you would want to hear.
I think you should get another jobseeker allowance appointment as it may take some time to get another job.
Why do you need a new sofa bed? When you have debts and no job I dont think you should be spending money that you dont need to. Freecycle might be a solution.

As for rules for when you move back home I imagine that main areas for conflict will be kitchen and bathroom use so have a think about what caused the niggles last time and see what can be done to sort it out.

sillylittlejill

Tried freecycle. We have got a list of rules, mainly for OH as he isn't too good with cleaning. The sofabed my mother has was 2nd hand when given to her and we lived on it for 3 months before we moved out and they have had quite a few people staying over since we left. It's not even comfortable as a sofa never mind taking it out as a bed!!

The sofa-bed we did see was £500 but after thinking about it, we have found another one at Ikea for half the price and does pretty much the same thing, just not as big i think.

Been applying for jobs non-stop. Can't believe it's only been a week and a half since I finished, a lot seems to have happened since!

xxx

Arne_2

I am glad you found a cheaper sofa bed and that you have got your set of rules to ease any tensions. I have just been staying with my Mum for a month over Xmas and with her tiny kitchen it was ackward to hep with with any cooking unless she wasnt in there.

Jolly2009

Hello,

Hope you are well. Just been catching up with your diary.

Glad you have managed to make some rules etc with moving back to your parents. You have put down that you are buying a sofa bed??? What is wrong with the bed that you are using/furniture that you have in your flat?

Also the reason for you moving back to your parents is to pay your debts off so maybe you could post a new SOA for how things will be when you move back? This may give you a start to working out what you are going to aim to pay off and by when.

Also, I hope you don't mind me saying but it seems that your partner is being sensible in that he is thinking about paying off the debts and you are still thinking about marriage. Don't get me wrong (I would love to get married tomorrow) but being sensible about it, the debts have to go first - why add to them? You are together, planning a future and as you said have been through too much to think about splitting up so why not put it off in your mind for a while. There's no point in being married and even thinking of children until you are financially stable and have your own home etc.

How about working out a five year plan, for example 2 years to be debt free and save up, 3/4 years move out and get married, 5 years have kids....give yourself some goals but make sure they are reasonable and achievable. The last thing you would want is to be in the same situation two years down the line.

Have you spoken to CCCS or payplan re your debts? Have you signed on? Every penny helps at these times.

These are just a few thought that may help you along the way, please don't take anything I have said as harsh, just some suggestions as to the way I have dealt with things. I guess the main thing I would say is take full advatage of living at home and really make it worthwhile so that you never get to the situation you have found yourself in now.

Good luck SLJ, xx

sillylittlejill

thank you so much for the replies.

The bed we have now is not only waaay too big for the small room we are moving into, it is uncomfortable and have spent the past year sleeping on a horribly hard, gigantic bed so to be honest, a sofabed sounds like heaven!


I am having one of those days today (again!!) where I think "why the frick do I bother getting out of bed in the morning (aside from the backache lol)!!!!"

I found a 2nd hand laptop on freecycle that I was going to repair and put a bit more memory etc in it as I knew she wanted one for 6th form. We have been arguing a lot about us moving back and thought it would make things a bit better.

My dad has just been over and I have found out that my auntie (who I was thinking of asking to borrow some money off) is getting my sister a state of the art fancy doodled laptop worth the best part of £1000.

My dad and me are both unemployed at the minute and as a result are both completely skint. My sister gets almost £200 a month from my parents as well as said auntie.

I have always felt like the outsider of the family which has got 1000% worse since moving out. My family seem to do as much as possible to make this feel worse. My sister spends a lot of her free time "looking after" my auntie which basically entails sitting in her messy, smoke filled house listening to her latest illness. I love my auntie but I don't have the time to be doing that, my sister is at 6th form and doesn't have a job so has a bit of free time to do that.

I feel like my auntie is rewarding her for spending a couple of hours a week with her and I'm being punished because I'm wanting to spend the last few weeks of me and my boyfriend living alone with him!

My sister has always been the golden girl, she's got good GCSE's whereas I only got average results, she's going to 6th form and Uni after to be a teacher, whereas I dropped out of 6th form to do media at art college then dropped out of that to work.

I feel like I'm being punished and pushed out of my family because I chose to live with my boyfriend.

I can't talk to them because I've always been the over-emotional dramatic girl of the family (hence media!)

I just don't know what to do. Been unemployed for 2 weeks and feel so useless.


Help.
x

Jolly2009

Ok SLJ, you need to pick yourself up, not think about the things you have just posted and try and focus on what it is you want out of life. Not what others think about you. Families are hard enough at the best of times and trust me I know.

Focus what on what is important to you. How is the job hunting going? What type of work are you looking for or will you take anything in the meanwhile.

Have you got a move date for going back to parents?

I hope you are not taking this all on yourself, your OH needs to help in all of this.

xx