sillylittlejill's DFW Diary...

mancbird

I know it's hard but ignoring things won't make them easier - I've learnt that the hard way There might be a template letter you can send to barclaycard explaining your circumstances on here.
x

sillylittlejill

Hi mancbird

I am in the middle of sending a letter to NatWest and Barclaycard. NatWest have been nice enough to write back to me. I am going to enclose a payment of £20 as a goodwill gesture as I cannot afford any more but will they accept it if it under my boyfriend's name? The money is both of ours but its in his account and I was going to send a cheque to both of them.

I'm going to agencies on tuesday as I'm spending tomorrow driving from Carlisle to Ely and back with my dad. Taking my auntie down to stay with my cousin and I didn't want him driving back alone. Trying to be nice although as my family has no idea how bad the situation has got, its tiring pretending that everything is okay.

The CAB is an idea that I've been thinking about. Going to try to speak to them soon. Hoping that we can go and see them when OH has a day off work as he's better with money and can explain things better!

Looks like the wedding etc is going on hold for the time being, which is horrible because I was getting excited about getting married and starting a family but don't want to do it when things are so up in the air. At the end of the day I'm only 19 so as long as I have kids by the time I'm 25 I'll be happy. Always imagined myself as a younger mum so don't want to have to wait after that.

Where are the template letters on here?

xxxx

sillylittlejill

Hey its me again.

I have had another argument with OH about money and tidying up etc. We have decided that if I haven't got a job in the next few weeks then we are going to move back in with my parents. We know we can do this as we have all lived together before we got our flat. If we do this, we will be able to pay off all of the debt by the end of the year and should be able to start again next year sometime.

We will be more intelligent next time around and we will sell anything we don't need/can't fit into our room at my mum and dads and put any money towards debt/saving up for a new place.

I have been thinking about this but didn't want to admit that we have failed first time around.

I hate it when my mum's right!!

Anyone else had to move back with their parents? There were a few arguments last time but I think that know we know what its like to be in charge of a household things will be better. OH still won't do the washing up but I'll be happier to help out and with my dad currently unemployed they could use the rent we would be paying them for the time being, so we would all be benefitting.

Just have to talk to my mum and dad and make sure its okay for us to come back and then we will send our landlord his month's notice.

Feel like I need a big hug Don't want to go back but really do at the same time.


Any advice out there? Could really use some right now?

xxxx

Coolmum66

Aaw - bless ya hun - just wated to send you a hug.

Moving back to your parents is not a failure - it's realising that you can't manage with
the situation at the moment. Looking back I wish I hadn't been in such a rush to move from my parent's house!! Never mind - we live and learn!

Moving back to your paretns will relieve the financial pressure and give you some breathing space to find another job.

Hope it all works out

Coolmum. x

Jolly2009

Hi there,

Just wanted to say hi and send you my best wishes.

I've read through your diary and I think it's a really sensible and good idea to move back to your parents if you are able to. Especially as you are finding it hard to get a job etc.

Just think of it as a mature step towards a better future - I only wish I had the sense to do it when I had the chance. Maybe I wouldn't be in the situation I am now!

Being at home will allow you to make some sensible decisions, save up towards moving out together and go from there. You have also mentioned that your OH wants to go to uni - maybe you should (or should I say OH) needs to think about the cost of this also and start saving towards this unless he wants to leave uni with lots of debt too.

I think moving back home will allow you both to see things clearer and save for those important things in life such as marriage, kids and studying etc. Trust me I am paying for it now but not doing it sensibly and now have to work like mad to pay off tens of thousands of debt just so I can consider buying a house and have kids....i'm 30 now!

Best of luck to you, will keep popping in. Take care xx

sillylittlejill

Thanks

Although I know I've not technically failed, it feels like I have and my mum has a tendency to be like "I was right!!!" and thats sometimes a bit difficult to take. She doesn't actually know anything about the debt at all and I don't want her finding out, its just something else for her to worry about and she's just like me, a complete worrier, panics about everything!

Am driving down to cambridgeshire tomorrow with my dad, cant wait! Dad and daughter day out which should be fun although hope there's not too many roadworks! Love cambridgeshire so much, cumbria is horrible and as my cousin lives in Ely, have spent a while in cambridgeshire over last few years. You're so lucky to live there!

xxx

sillylittlejill

Yesterday I spent the day driving to Ely and back. Left at 8.30am and got back at 11pm. This was a pointless day out but got to spend some time with my dad and sister which was really nice.

Today I am meeting a friend in town before seeing her friend then I will be going round everywhere and handing in my CV in an effort to try and find a new job as nothing seems to be advertised.

Helping my friend with some luggage as she is going to Preston after our coffee so as I said I'd help her with her suitcase she is going to pay for the drink!

For some strange reason, Barclaycard have stopped ringing me all of a sudden. Got one phone call all day and none yet so far today.

Hoping they have finally received my letters but am sending another one today just incase.

Need to speak to parents about moving back home, as a bit scared. Worried they are going to tell me to !!!!!! off!

Hope its nice and snowy where everyone is, its freezing here and just icy, never ever ever snows here, hate it!! Saw lots of snow yesterday driving across to Scotch Corner, it was beautiful.

xxx

sillylittlejill

Have rang up and applied for Jobseekers Allowance until I can find another job. Am applying for a few jobs but not really holding out any hope with the way the country is now.

Hoping if I get a job by end of January then we won't have to move back to parents and will be able to just move somewhere cheaper!

have a nice day xxx

sillylittlejill

My day has gone from really good and positive to down really bad Been getting these bad downturns for a few months now.

Spoke to OH about getting married in the near future and got my head bit off. I don't understand how he sees it as a bad thing, I thought that it would be a positive thing that I wanted to marry him but he thinks that I want the big wedding and the engagement ring and everything.

All I want is to be his wife. All I want is to be his for ever. It's really getting to me. I know this is completely none-money related but need to get this off my chest. I would be so happy to just nip up to gretna and get married tomorrow in my jeans and t-shirt with a couple of mates as witnesses.

The last thing I want is to make him feel pressured although I feel like I need him to realise that its not just me wanting to be a princess for a day. I want to be his wife and mother to his child/children.

Just feel unappreciated and he's saying that the engagement ring I picked a couple of months ago (£395) would pay off the NatWest overdraft and I know that its bad timing but all I want is to be his wife. Why can he not understand that?! I know to everyone out there I'm a 19yr old who doesn't know enough about life or whatever but I'm mature for my age and feel a lot older than I am.

Doesn't help that all the couples we know are either married or engaged. We've been together two years and the amount we have gone through, I know that if we were going to split up we would have by now.

Sorry about this completely pointless post, just needed to get it out of my system so I don't banish OH to spare room!

xxx

sillylittlejill

Just read last night's post and didn't realise how upset I was! Bit better this morning, OH is in the spare room taking apart the spare bed ready to move back to parents. Going down to their house tonight to talk to them about it. We borrowed £200 off them before christmas so when we move back, we will be paying them £250 a month for rent then after 4 months will go down to £200. Thats going to make a difference and we are going to live the same as we are, but put all the money into paying off debts instead of towards bills then once we have saved up a certain amount (will decide on this today) we will move out again and will be able to buy a new sofa etc as the one we have now my mum has her eye on it so will give her it for £50. Would let her have it for free but she has already offered that!

Think we are going to have to make some rules or guidelines before we go back as things were pretty stressful last time we lived with them.

Has anyone else out there moved back in with their parents? Any advice?

xxx