sillylittlejill's DFW Diary...

sillylittlejill

The job hunting was going okay last week but has come to a standstill this week as nothing seems to have came up since last week and I applied for everything!
We officially leave our flat on 24th February but are hoping to be moving things over in the next few weeks a bit at a time so not to waste everyone's weekend.
My OH does help but my family take it all out on me so he can't help. He just says things like "You will be able to look back in ten years and you'll be able to be proud that everything we have is paid for by us and we haven't depended on other people" but to be honest, I could really do with the money and if my auntie has so much, why is she spending it all on my sister who isn't in debt whereas we are and are struggling so much.

It doesn't help when my sister lectures me about things, she's 17 for crying out loud, she's never had a job and she's so naive, so how the hell does she know better than me?!

sorry, no wonder no-one reads my diary, all i do is moan in it!!

thanks for your advice xxx

fallenwiccan

Hi I've just read through your diary and first of all I want to say breathe! it sounds daft but when you just stop and take a moment things can sometimes look different.

Second of all I don't want to say this in a mean way but your sister will have university hit her like a tonne of bricks, I'm fairly financially savvy and I have a maxxed out overdraft and a credit card I never seem to get down (thankfully its limit is £500) but I am trying my hardest. Me and my boyfriend (of 4 years) don't live together because I know realistically we cannot afford it but he keeps pestering me saying he wants to move somewhere with me and it really gets to me sometimes.

I try not to think on my debt but I'm trying to cut down on buying daft little things I find it really difficult but this forum does help when I see how much some people save, I think I just need to stop carrying my cards with me then I don't have the temptation.

I'm sorry I've not been a huge amount of help but people are here, I know it can sound bad but chin up, at least you're happy and healthy (okay not happy all the time, but who is? I know I'm certainly not especially when I have a bad time which I am at the minute) you have the rest of your life ahead of you, this is just a rock on the road, you'll drive past it and it'll seem smaller than it was.

:wave:

Jolly2009

Your OH is right, in 10 years time you will be looking back and be proud of what you have achieved together.

I really think (given that you have had no success) sign on - telephone them today and make your intention to claim and they will send the forms out. You really need the cash and at the end of the day it will take the pressure off of your OH and his earning. Every penny helps, even if it's only for a couple of weeks until you find a job.

I would really sit down and work out an income/expenditure based upon living at home. Post it here and maybe myself and others can have a read of it and offer some advice?

It's the little things you do now that will help in the long run. As fallenwiccan said, cut back on little things. Keep a spending diary, aim for no spend days, think of ways to make money. If you are not working can you not take a look at surveys, daily clicks, cashback sites. It may not seem like much now but by the end of the year (as eagerlearner has proved) it does mount up to a bit if you work hard at it.

Try not to let your family get to you, you'll get there in the end and if it ends up being on your own then so beit - at least you know you have done it.

Take care, xx

sillylittlejill

thanks its picked me up a bit. I do get overdramatic and silly but at the time I just think "why me? What have I done wrong?" I sound so stupid saying that my parents like my sister more than me but I have now realised that although my parents can baby her more, they don't love her more. My dad's side of the family seem to think she can't do anything wrong but at the end of the day, I have my boyfriend and all his family who (apart from his mother!) have taken me in as one of their own and know they take the pi** out of me like they do with the rest of them

It just seems silly that the only time I really feel surrounded by family is when I am with my boyfriend's!

My sis will find uni very difficult, she has been pampered by the family, and I would honestly be very surprised if she didn't come back after a few weeks. That doesn't make me feel any better though.

I know its just a rock on the road, but it feels like I've hit everest on a scooter!

I have been quite good (compared to what I was like) in that I worked for 1 month over xmas, have earned over £900 from it and all I bought was a £2.50 shredder for our old paperwork-OH was ripping it up by hand-for 4 hours!!!! I got some new trainers for £30 because my old ones had a hole in the bottom I wasn't aware of and the snow got in them and are a bit smelly and soft now!

It just feels like this bad patch has gone on for long, do I not deserve a break?!
I want a holiday

xxx

sillylittlejill

Time for an update.
Have been looking for jobs on the internet for an hour or so every single morning, barely anything new coming up. Feeling very guilty because OH is bringing the money in and basically paying for my debts whereas I spend every day sitting on my bum, tidying up and doing random things round the house.
We are going to CAB in the morning, as its OH's day off. We need to go to Ikea as well though, so will ask my dad to take us over afterwards I think. That won't be fun! Its 90 minutes away and my dad is a slightly erratic driver. I'm used to him but OH (whose dad used to be a driving instructor!) gets scared when my dad goes over 50, or round any corners!!

My mum must have spoken to my sister because she texted me on sunday asking to go over to hers for a "dvd day". We used to have these all the time, would go and get some junk food, or maybe bake some cookies etc and sit in bed watching dvds all day. Miss doing that.

Had a fight with OH last night. I was upset because, although I have been unemployed for nearly 3 weeks now, OH hasn't done the washing up since around November I think, so I asked him to do it on saturday evening, he said he was tired and would do it in the morning, sunday came and went (I was at my mums with sis), monday came and went and so did tuesday. I refused to do it because this is the whole reason I'm apprehensive about moving home. He says he will do something but it ends up with me doing it 5 days later and screaming at him because all he EVER does is sit and read, or sit and play on the xbox. He doesn't have any friends anymore, he doesn't have any social life and he's happy with that. I like to go out with friends and have a laugh and then come back to him, I think its good in a relationship to have some time apart but OH doesn't. He says he has me so why would he choose to go out with other people and leave me at home. I suppose I should take that as a compliment but all I want is for us to have a bit of a social life! His childhood was quite messed up with his parents breaking up and a lot of other things I won't go into. I sometimes forget about this because he never talks about what he went through and I don't think.
I honestly think that he could do with counselling as I know he is quite "messed up" from everything but I know for a fact he would never talk to them about his problems. I'm honestly tempted to text Jeremy Kyle about it! He needs to confront whatever has happened (I don't know half of it) and deal with it otherwise its going to affect him for the rest of our lives.

Sorry for going on, am in the house by myself so typing all my thoughts!


xxx

sillylittlejill

hey! :wave:
Hows things with everyone?
I'm going into town today to open my basic account with HSBC. Have been looking at a lot but when I have been in HSBC with OH, their customer service is amazing compared to NatWest, Barclays etc. Hoping that I will get accepted, never been declined anything in the branch!
Going to get keys cut before we move back home so that we can give landlord 2 sets of keys back. Mine were dropped a few months ago walking across a bridge and by the time I went back they had gone so need to get the keys copied. Also I need to get the fob that you kind of scan over the front door thingy copied but not sure where to get that done, so any suggestions would be helpful

Got the sofa bed yesterday, was good and went for the medium range one instead of the really expensive or the cheap one as the cheap one was pretty uncomfortable. Got a couple of strange looks off young kids as I was bouncing around on the sofa bed in the shop hehe. Got a double quilt cover and pillow covers in a really funky green colour for £9.50 which I thought was really good.

Okay going for shower now. speak later xxx

sillylittlejill

We move back to parents this weekend, Sunday and Monday, as OH is working on Saturday. I hate moving because I get yelled at because I'm in the way, end up standing there like a plonker while everyone else is running round carrying big boxes that I can't lift!
My friend is moving out as well so think I may hang around here for a bit then when I get yelled at, go and help her pack!

I'm really chuffed with getting this done. Hopefully the NatWest debt should be paid off by the end of April then we can concentrate on getting rid of the credit cards.

I have applied for another job at P4U in another store in town so hoping that as I did really well at xmas, that they will favour me over other people that have worked at another shop as I know their system and the people that work in the shop as have been in a few times picking up things for other shop.

I am going to the hospital with a friend later on and probably going to get dinner in town but we go to a pub with meals for 2 for £7 which is really good.

The other day I made tea and didn't close the freezer properly so most of the food is a bit dodgy so not sure if we can eat whats in there. I was planning on giving all the freezer food we hadn't used to my friend as she is a single mum and money is pretty tight.

Does anyone know if the food is edible or not? It's all frozen again now, the door was only slightly open for about 24 hours I think.

Going to get ready now, its sooo cold, don't want to get out from under the comfy throw on the sofa!!


xxx

sillylittlejill

Hi to anyone reading this :wave:

We are back in my parents house now and stressing majorly. My parents aren't aware of our financial position, as they are in debt themselves, my dad is unemployed so they really don't need our problems on top. I have written letters to Natwest and Barclaycard asking them for standing order forms so that I can pay them £25 a month until we can save up enough to pay them off in full. We should be able to pay NatWest off in a couple of months but Barclaycard is more difficult and if I don't get a job soon then OH is basically paying off my debt. That makes me feel awful. I know that he sees it as "our" debt not mine but at the end of the day it is in my name and its not his responsibility. I feel awful but know that I will pay it back over time. I am just getting bored at home to be honest. I can't start college until September and there are no interviews lined up etc so have got a boring few months ahead I fear.

My mother is driving me insane. The water pipe in the city centre burst yesterday so couldn't wash any clothes or dishes as the water looked like sewage. Apparently it was safe to drink and use but the horrible colour puts you off! The toilet water almost made me throw up, it was black!!

Anyhoo, going into town today to drop sandwiches off for OH's dinner and to photocopy my passport so that I can open a basic bank account in Halifax.

Hope everyone else is okay now that the cold snap seems to have gone! No more ice is good!

comments would be appreciated, I need to know whether I'm doing things right!!

Be back in a bit, got to have a shower, bit nervous incase the water is still brown...

xxx

sillylittlejill

Hello.

No-one seems to read this but it makes me feel better writing it so here goes:

The last month or so has been so incredibly stressful... I didn't realise how difficult it would be living with my parents. I honestly feel about 11 again, my sister is yelling at me for being in the shower for too long and she hasn't done the washing up once "because her A-levels come first". My OH did 4 a levels, worked saturday, sunday and two four hour shifts through the week and still managed to do the washing up!! He doesn't know, but thats cos he's got me!

She point blank refused a 4 hour a week job!!!! She said it was too much but she's such a snob, its because its at greggs.

On my job front, I have a work trial at a sushi place on thursday which I am sooo excited about but my xmas job bosses are apparently looking for a part time person and I'm on the top of their list so I don't know what to do. I think that I find out on thursday if I have the job or not, so maybe my decision will be made for me, but if I get the sushi job then we will be having to move over there quite soon, in the next 6-8 weeks as the train journeys (about 1 1/2 hours) are too much to take there and back for any longer than a couple of months, not to mention the costs!

We went to currys yesterday as my parents were looking for a digital box as theirs is on the blink. My OH saw an LG LCD TV that he wants to get on finance!!! THat's £750!! I know that he would be able to pay it off within 12 months but if he saved money for 3 or 4 then he would be able to buy it outright!! He won't listen and wants to go up on his day off to talk about it and potentially order it. I don't know what to do. We both love our gadgets but we really don't need another thing to pay for. It is a really good offer but there'll be another one soon.

He is so stubborn but he is also really good with money (normally!!!) and I know that if he couldn't afford it then he wouldn't get it. HELP!! How do I get this sorted?

On the upside, really looking forward to working again!!!

If anyone is actually reading this, hope things are going okay, and come say hi. I don't bite (unless you're made of chocolate!!!)


:wave:

xxx

Mrs_Ryan

Hi there SLJ!!

I've just been reading thru ur diary - bless you, ur really having a tough time of it arent you??? I lived in Carlisle for a year and I totally sympathise with u - I know from first hand experience that the job situation up there isnt great, I lived there before the Lanes extension was built so it was even worse then!!!
Is the sushi job in Newcastle by any chance? I did that journey for about 7-8 weeks in reverse from yours when I moved back in with my parents in Newcastle, and it is absolute hell. IMHO, you would probably be better off trying to get that job in Carlisle - I had to ask for a transfer after 7 weeks to the Newcastle branch of where I worked as I couldnt handle the journey!!! TBH, the difference between what you would get part-time in Carlisle and full-time in Newcastle would be eaten up by the train fares anyway - I was lucky, I could afford it but if you cant afford it it will cripple you.
And you really dont want an LG TV. I worked for the technical line at Currys and about 90% of the complaints we got were about them - my mum had one from there, she paid well in excess of a thousand pounds for it and it blew up after about two weeks :eek: If all else fails, throw that at ur OH and tell him to at least wait for a different make!!!! (by then he might have the cash - you see)
Hang on a min though - if he refuses to buy u an engagement ring and says ur being selfish and that it could pay off ur debts, how on earth can he justify buying a TV instead???!!! Sheesh. He sounds like he needs a good kick up the proverbial :rotfl:
Best of luck with everything, I will pop by again soon
Mrs R xx