Heartfelt words *updated with SOA* - My world's crumbled

csarina

I read the start of your thread with interest, you have made the first step and it will get easier.

We are lucky in a way that we are still able to service our debts and have never been in the sitiuation where we have had to miss a payment. Even so we have 2 loans which have been a bit of a mill stone for the last few years, fortunately they both finish in 2009, but the expeience3 has taught me 'NEVER AGAIN'. Even then we will still have a car loan which I intend to pay off asap and my cc which just now is at 0%. We also have an O/D which thankfully is going down, at one point it was £2700 its now down to £1400 at the end of this month, and also should be gone next year. The reasons for the O/D I will not go into but it was an unexpected move that meant we had to run it up. At one stage we had £33,000 of debt, its now down to £12,000. most of which is the car............

You will get lots of help, support and advice from this and other boards in the group.

Good luck on your debt free journey.

GreyhoundAngel

A little later than stated – more headaches presented themselves since my last post, topped off with no broadband until now. So here’s the “Tale”, and the “Science” bit will follow later once I’ve adjusted the figures to reflect the latest changes.

Bought our house towards the end of 2006, in what should have been our “Move to the Country & Change of Lifestyle” move. OH has contract lined up, I to leave my PAYE job, go freelance for a up to a year while starting my own business. My company has problems finding a replacement, and asks me to stay while they reviewed the situation & found someone – I agree, but it means weekly commuting. Time moves forward several months.

OH’s company – lays off contract workers, but I’m asked to continue for a “little longer” – which I do, but at the cost of business plans due to time away from home. OH gets a couple of short term contracts then comes the first blow. MIL goes down with a rare kidney disease, almost fatal – OH needs time out to be there. MIL survives but now on permanent dialysis. OH comes home – but no work around. Savings for work to the house start going down.

Dad is diagnosed with cancer, my weekly commute continues, OH still no work & getting agitated as not bringing in any income. Management & infrastructure changes mean my pay is often very late. However, Chemo seems to be working for dad. OH has a very minor stroke, but no lasting symptoms after 48 hours. Dad is admitted to hospital after a severe fall. Company changes continue, my pay seems to have gone awol - but I keep working. Dad is back home. Time moves on.

Then many things seem to happen very quickly – Payments have arrived, but at the cost of charges on my accounts / arrears on monthly payments / OD’s at max etc. Dad has another bad fall & then OH has another more severe stroke – I start a 4 way commute :- work, dad’s hospital, home & OH’s hospital. Pay seems to have taken another detour. Savings finally gone. OH comes home, but has mobility & other problems due to the stroke, outcome is uncertain. Dad’s cancer has returned more aggressive than before & I’m told its terminal – I bring him home.

I keep working, while caring for them both. Dad loses his fight & is reunited with mum. Company suddenly ends my work with no notice and owing me pay (self employed – so tribunal not an option). I have Executor responsibilities, so I decide to stay at Dad’s. Still no pay – I start looking for local PAYE work. Fortunately I find some, but 6 weeks before I will get paid. Some pay turns up – but not all of it.

Debts mount. Bank declines to help despite the circumstances as review is due. First wage appears, but not enough with the backlog & now 2 houses to maintain. Bank drops OD limit at review – more problems, things escalate. Second wage & bank decided to come to arrangement, too little too late – and nothing that helps in the short-term where I need it.

I know I am more fortunate than many here – and I’m sure some will think “why not just sell up & take the equity in Dad’s house to clear everything”. It would seem to be logical, and they would be “right” regarding short term gain (though I may yet be forced down that route by the “equity” company, unless I can manage to source finance to pay it off.)
However, with OH’s situation, I must take a longer term view. If OH remains unable to work, then we will need some kind of 2nd income stream – and there are only so many hours I can physically work. Letting one of the properties could do that – but it’s not that simple and would need a thread of it’s own. Suffice to say – at this moment, it’s not possible.

So here I am, my world upside down & in pieces. I have one good friend who is a great support, but I feel I’m drowning in an eddy with no sight of the dam. As quick as I think I’ve sorted one area – another goes down. At this moment, I don’t know if I’ll even stretch it to the end of the month, and Xmas isn’t even a thought. Not that I really feel like facing it without Dad.

Edited to say: Sorry, I didn’t realise I’d rambled so much.

Mrs_Dawn

Just read your post Greyhound Angel.

Although it may seem that the world and his wife are against you. I can assure you that this the right place to be for anything, be it advise, just a shoulder to cry on or somewhere to rant and rave to your hearts content.
The people on this forum are the salt of the earth as my old Dad used to say.
They have certainly helped me with a lot of issues this year.
Clearing debts, a crisis in my marriage, my brother in law falling and breaking
his neck and the loss of very good friend of mine.

I felt that my life was on a serious downward spiral. But thanks to some sound advice and lots of willing shoulders to sob on, I'm slowly clawing my way out of the big black hole I've been in.

I sincerely hope things start to pick up for you and your OH.

Please take care. There will be lots of very clever people along to help with any issues when you post your SOA(I'm not one of the clever ones yet!!!)
You will find everyone ready and willing to help.

Wishing you peace and happiness for now and the future.xxxxxxxxxxxx

Dawn xxxxxxxxx

GreyhoundAngel

"The Science Bit"

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1050 (this is an estimate as I've been on emergency tax)
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1050

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 305
Secured loan repayments................. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 119 (includes the arrears)
Electricity............................. 173 (this will go down to 59.00 on meter reading in January)
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 45 (this includes arrears)
Telephone (land line)................... 22.5 (this goes down to £2.50 in Jan)
Mobile phone............................ 20
TV Licence.............................. 10
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 30 (covers 2)
Groceries etc. ......................... 200
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 80 (aprx)
Road tax................................ 15 (aprx)
Car Insurance........................... 35
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 10 (OH)
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 47
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 30 (aprx)
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 1126.5

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 50000 (1st property)
Shares and bonds........................ 100
Car(s).................................. 2000
Other assets............................ 150000 (2nd property)
Total Assets............................ 202100

Secured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 55000....(305)......5.5
Secured Debt.................. 120000...(0)........0
Total secured debts........... 175000....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
CC1............................1000......20........0
CC2............................800.......20........0 (also Business use)
CC2 (Business).................700.......20........0
OD3 (Business).................1000......0.........0
OD2............................250.......10........0
OD1............................1300......40........0
Total unsecured debts..........5050......110.......-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,050
Expenses (including secured debts)...... 1,126.5
Available for debt repayments........... -76.5
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 110
Surplus(deficit if negative)............ -186.5

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 202,100
Total Secured debt...................... -175,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -5,050
Net Assets.............................. 22,050

Created using the SOA calculator at www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission.


This may be a little skewed, as I've included the 2 properties (mentioned in the previous post) as it is technically an "asset" once probate finishes etc.

SingleSue

I'm not that big a softie and I have read many many threads on this board but I must admit that is the first one which has brought tears to my eyes.

As a fellow carer, I really feel for you and hope you can find a way forward both emotionally and financially.

Sorry for no financial advice in my post but there are so many other people here who are much better at it than me.

SingleSue

Does your OH receive Disability living allowance at all in view of his stroke?

Nic25

Hey there,
first of all, big hugs for you - what a brave post :grouphug:

I know it seems so dark just now, but things will get easier. How is OH? Is he getting better?

With regards to your SOA -
- shouldn't OH be getting some sort of benefits as he can't work at the moment?
- I'm not sure how severe the stroke was, but if he is stable enough, can he do some work from home? Even a little on the computer or something?
- Have you put in a claim to have your emergency tax overpayment returned to you?
- Your electiricty is horrible, is there nothing that can be done about this at all?
- Why do you have 2 internet services?
- Building insurance also seems high - have you shopped around?

The sensible thing would be to sell/let the second home, but I understand if this is hard for you. Obviously something will have to be done with it in the future - I'm sure you don't need 2 houses! And it may as well be making you money rather than costing you it.

Again, well done for posting - you have all our support

Numpty_Monkey

:grouphug:GreyhoundAngel

That is about a weeks worth of typing for me :eek:

So no need to appologise for rambling:A

Are you reclaiming your bank charges?
Not sure about the self employed things, but you paid tax and NI
but you might aswell check you are getting what you can
http://www.entitledto.co.uk/

Have you callee the electric supplier and asked for a reduced repayment?
Same with council tax

Also the APR's on the cards would really be helpful
Don't worry if they are just the monthly apr's
there is a matmatical thing about 4 pages long to work it out:eek: but will give the number crunchers something to look at

The emotional support you can get from here is amazing (nice to see Mrs Dawn again)

:A

Lensman_2

I am very sorry for you Greyhound Angel.

I recently lost my Dad (June). I only got the courage up to open the birthday present he got me last week. A steamer for vegetables to save on the washing up... He gave it to me in May, a week before he went in to hospital. He was in a coma for the month.

I can't really help much here. Only to say that it gets a little bit easier over time. A little bit less time each day lost for feelings about him. A little bit less angry about the way he went. I still wish I could pick the phone up for a chat - but that's not the way it is.

I wish you all the best. At some point, you will have got past the worst bit. The bottom point on the graph of your life. You never know you are past it until ages after - but let's hope you have got past yours.

All the best.
Jim

GreyhoundAngel

SingleSue wrote: »

Does your OH receive Disability living allowance at all in view of his stroke?

No, not at the moment. To be honest, I got completely lost & out of my depth when it came to reading the information about it on the various websites. The "calculators" dont seem to cover our particular circumstances. Temporarily living at my dads (with no idea yet as to how long this will be for, for various reasons) - we're well out of our own "area", so even something as simple as putting "home" address etc is difficult.

However, OH's sister knows someone who works in a benefits office, and has said she will help me to work through this side if we can give her all the details.