It's not rocket science, so why don't I get it?

Piquant_2

The hunt story

Firstly, it has to said I don’t hunt. I don’t really have views on it, but I live out in the country and it’s something that has always been around. I do enjoy the sight of the red coats, dogs and immaculately turned out horses at the start of the hunt, all seems terribly traditional somehow.

I never intended joining the hunt halfway through either…I had gone out for a hack on the Captain one grey day, after days of rain and partial flooding. We were halfway across an open field when I heard the baying of the hounds...

Unfortunately the hunt was crossing the bottom of the field about quarter of a mile from us. It was too much for him, he spun, bucked, farted loudly and we were off. Yet again, he did not recognise the fact that he is not a hunter thorough-blood. He is a gypsy piebald cob! Designed for pulling caravans, not hunting, racing, the Grand National or any other horse occupation he can think of.

We were going flat out, overtaking and cutting other horses up, he didn’t give a damn, herd instinct had completely taken over. No amount of screaming “you !!!!!!” was getting through… I thought we might overtake the fox :eek:I think we broke every rule of hunt etiquette:rolleyes:

I nearly fainted as the hedge loomed, it was huge and a small muddy overflowing ditch was running alongside it. The other horses flew over it, the Captain knew he could too….

Oh no he couldn’t… at the last moment he tried to stop mid jump, semi halted, leaving me to do the jump by myself!

We both flew through the air all right, I flew off and he fell over… Both of us went under the thick clay mud stream…There wasn’t an inch of skin, clothing, hair, mane or saddle that wasn’t covered in it. Mud, glorious mud :eek:

Fortunately, apart from our dignity, nothing was hurt. I hauled my squelching body back onto the revolting saddle and left the hunt to it’s own devices. Not that anyone cared! Even the Captain agreed it was time to go home. We did the fastest squelchy trot we could, I didn’t want the mud to set. We were mud monsters, do you know what it feels like to have mud dreadlocks?

Nobody recognised us at first, we were that dirty, naturally, once we were the laughter started. I have never lived it down. I have no desire to hunt again, it is terrifying, and as for jumping hedges...

MrsAudus2b

:rotfl:
Oh Piq, that sounds so painful! In every possible sense of the word!
:rotfl:

xx

KTjazz

Mud monsters!

That's your new name - Mud Monster! hee hee hee hee hee!

lucielle

Brilliant! Mine thinks he can keep up with an ex-racehorse. He tried his best today. Had a fantastic ride in the snow!
L

Pippilongstocking

Oh Piq - he is a bit of a naughty knickers this Captain of your's isnt he sometimes??!!xx

Glad you are OK!

Piquant_2

lucielle wrote: »

Brilliant! Mine thinks he can keep up with an ex-racehorse. He tried his best today. Had a fantastic ride in the snow!
L

The Captain will keep going until he goes past any other horses, just to prove he is faster! He doesn't seem to feel 24. These days we only go a few strides past, just to show the young whipper snappers who's top dog :rotfl:

Piquant_2

fayjmck wrote: »

Oh Piq - he is a bit of a naughty knickers this Captain of your's isnt he sometimes??!!xx

Glad you are OK!

All the time Fay, you could tell on the day he was born, he had attitude! I like the term naughty knickers, will share it with him tomorrow!:rotfl:

hampsterpoo

Piquant wrote: »

The hunt story

Firstly, it has to said I don’t hunt. I don’t really have views on it, but I live out in the country and it’s something that has always been around. I do enjoy the sight of the red coats, dogs and immaculately turned out horses at the start of the hunt, all seems terribly traditional somehow.

I never intended joining the hunt halfway through either…I had gone out for a hack on the Captain one grey day, after days of rain and partial flooding. We were halfway across an open field when I heard the baying of the hounds...

Unfortunately the hunt was crossing the bottom of the field about quarter of a mile from us. It was too much for him, he spun, bucked, farted loudly and we were off. Yet again, he did not recognise the fact that he is not a hunter thorough-blood. He is a gypsy piebald cob! Designed for pulling caravans, not hunting, racing, the Grand National or any other horse occupation he can think of.

We were going flat out, overtaking and cutting other horses up, he didn’t give a damn, herd instinct had completely taken over. No amount of screaming “you !!!!!!” was getting through…I thought we might overtake the fox :eek:I think we broke every rule of hunt etiquette:rolleyes:

I nearly fainted as the hedge loomed, it was huge and a small muddy overflowing ditch was running alongside it. The other horses flew over it, the Captain knew he could too….

Oh no he couldn’t… at the last moment he tried to stop mid jump, semi halted, leaving me to do the jump by myself!

We both flew through the air all right, I flew off and he fell over… Both of us went under the thick clay mud stream…There wasn’t an inch of skin, clothing, hair, mane or saddle that wasn’t covered in it. Mud, glorious mud :eek:

Fortunately, apart from our dignity, nothing was hurt. I hauled my squelching body back onto the revolting saddle and left the hunt to it’s own devices. Not that anyone cared! Even the Captain agreed it was time to go home. We did the fastest squelchy trot we could, I didn’t want the mud to set. We were mud monsters, do you know what it feels like to have mud dreadlocks?

Nobody recognised us at first, we were that dirty, naturally, once we were the laughter started. I have never lived it down. I have no desire to hunt again, it is terrifying, and as for jumping hedges...

thank you, thats brightened my friday morning :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Pippilongstocking

Piquant wrote: »

All the time Fay, you could tell on the day he was born, he had attitude! I like the term naughty knickers, will share it with him tomorrow!:rotfl:

If Haze (DD) is naughty she tells me she has her naughty knickers on.

Or her silly one, or her lazy knickers - its always the knickers fault.

Might not work with a horse - I am suspecting he doesn't wear knickers.

OliveOyl_2

fayjmck wrote: »

If Haze (DD) is naughty she tells me she has her naughty knickers on.


Might not work with a horse - I am suspecting he doesn't wear knickers.

:eek: :eek: how Rude! :eek: